


electric

by ichinoseharu (rinsousukes)



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, and gross, and high school student sousuke, grocery store au, so be warned if you're iffy about stuff like that, starring uni sophomore rin, this is ridiculously self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 20:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 58,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1996755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinsousukes/pseuds/ichinoseharu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A warm hand brushes his own then and Rin starts in surprise, before he realizes that someone is swiping a shiny red pack off the shelf. </p><p>Whoever it is, they’re close behind him, close enough for their warmth to bleed into Rin’s chilled back. He drops back down onto his heels and turns around in irritation, ready to chew them out, because jesus, would it kill them to wait just a couple of seconds more?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The tips of Rin’s fingers are steadily numbing and when he brings them up to the lapels of his woefully thin hoodie and tries to pull the material closer to his body, he notices that they’re trembling slightly. He sighs, a cloud of mist puffing out with the sound, and tucks his his palms under his armpits, picking up his pace as he strides down the dark, mostly empty streets. He should’ve taken Rei’s advice for once, he thinks, and then sighs again because there's absolutely nothing he can do about it now.

“Rin-san!” Rei had bellowed, as if the kitchen were three kilometres away from the living area rather than the three feet it really was. “Put on a thicker jacket. And take my gloves if yours are in the wash.”

Rin has told him time and time again to drop the honourifics, but Rei looks like the sort of person who’d spontaneously combust from the impropriety of addressing someone without them, so he’s decided to cut him some slack on the issue, maybe give him a little time before he starts using underhanded ways to get him to do it.

Rei had been wearing that _hideous_ butterfly-patterned flannel onesie (he always took it personally when Rin chose to describe it that way, but hideous is one of the better words he could have chosen to describe it with, in all honesty), and Rin had known him long enough to know without looking that his eyebrows had begun dipping into an admonishing frown.

The heavenly smell of freshly-cooked Miso and leek had slowly begun to drift from the kitchen into the living room, and he remembers how the warmth that came along with it had made him loath to open the door and step out into what was probably seven or eight degrees outside.

Rei’s voice had begun to take that too-familiar tone though, and Rin knew that if he wasn’t out of the place in a minute, he’d be subjected to a full-fledged lecture on why dressing appropriately during winter was important and then another sermon on the woes of frostbite. He’d slipped on his loafers and ducked out, zipping up his jacket and yanking the hood up over his head as he pulled the door shut behind him with a click. The rush of cold air had ruffled his hair and chilled his skin almost immediately, and he’d known that it was going to be one hell of trip to the store.

Rei had taken over cooking duties without a single complaint for three days straight during finals week though, and Rin thinks now that this is the least he can do to make up for it. One of them suffering the irritatingly gloomy weather at this time of the evening would be enough.

Rei and him have established a routine of heading down to the grocery store together on Fridays and even though Makoto and Haru still express their friendly concern and dubiousness (respectively) over the fact that they could just take turns to do it and save precious time and energy, it works well enough for them.

He and Rei both have specific diet plans (and a ton of dietary restrictions) to keep fit and Rin thinks he’d feel uncomfortable letting someone else pick out his food. Rei is the same, he knows. They’re a little fussier about what goes into their mouths than the average person and that’s part of the reason why they get along so well as flatmates. Well, most of the time that is (but he doesn’t want to get into the other parts now).

This week had been hell; Rin had had three papers on Wednesday to his utmost vexation, and he just wants to spend the weekend winding down, gorging on comfort food and generally not moving from his favourite spot on their lumpy couch right in front of the television. His weakness, in particular, is instant Ramen. The sort that came with two separate packets of seasoning and condiments, and smelled absolutely divine when he cracked a couple of eggs into it. He doesn’t usually let himself indulge, but he knows it’d be perfect for this weather.

His mouth waters just thinking about the hot spicy soup sliding down his throat, and he’s never been more relieved to see the blinking sign of the little convenience store right at the end of a row of closed, dark shops. His entire form is wracked by shivers now, the painfully thin material of his jacket providing almost zero protection against the chilly wind that’s evidently picked up in the time of his journey here.

He looks around to see if anyone might be watching (no one is), and then makes a dash for it until he reaches the glass doors of the store. His legs are stiff from the cold, his hair damp, and the bright, cozy-looking interior of the mart has never looked more appealing.

He pulls the door open and steps in, and the immediate warmth that washes over him makes him sigh happily. They’d clearly turned heating to full blast. The store has a surprisingly large amount of people milling around, when taking into consideration the time and the weather outside. Must be students, he thinks. Most of them must’ve wrapped up exams today. It’d make sense that they’d come in to grab a couple of packs of beer and chips to celebrate and wind down tonight.

There’s the comfortable buzz of chatter all around him and it only makes everything that much cozier and endears him to the place, especially when he thinks of the cold nightmare right outside the doors. He shudders just remembering it.

Rei must be done with dinner by now though, and the thought of a delicious, warm dinner of leek and teriyaki beef is calling to him. Rei’s obsession with details and perfection (which often makes him seem awkward and strange) comes in handy this time, because it makes him an excellent cook. Not that Rin would admit that to him any time soon, but hey, he can recognize talent when he sees it, or tastes it, in this case.

He reaches the aisle where they stock his favourite, time-tested brand of Ramen and looks around a little confusedly. They’d evidently changed up the contents of the shelves because the usual bright red packets of his beloved Sapporo instant Ramen is nowhere to be found.

The hood of his jacket slips off a little, and he pulls it back on hastily because there’s bound to be a couple of students here who’re acquaintances or maybe even friends (in the loosest sense of the word), and he’s definitely not in the mood for idle chit chat. Not when dinner is waiting, hot and delicious, back in the apartment.

When he turns though, he finds what he’s looking for almost immediately.

“There you are.” He mutters to himself and then reaches up to where the packets are stacked on the third level of the giant wooden shelves. He realizes the problem immediately. They’re way too high up. Who the fuck shoved a popular (well Rin is pretty sure it’s popular, how could it not be) item like that high up on the shelves anyway? Rin isn’t by any means a small guy, but even he’s having difficulty snatching the packets off the shelf.

He tiptoes, wincing when his cold-stiffened toes pop painfully, and tries again. He’s almost there, just an inch more and he’d be able to pull the corner of the plastic packet down, but it’s no use because he just can’t seem to find in himself to boost himself up to cover that extra one inch. It’s frustrating, must be the effect of the damn cold, because he’s usually a lot more limber than this, really.

A warm hand brushes his own then though, and Rin starts in surprise before he realizes that someone is swiping a shiny red pack off the shelf. Whoever it is, they’re close behind him, close enough for their warmth to bleed into Rin’s chilled back. He drops back down onto his heels and turns around in irritation, ready to chew them out, because _jesus_ , would it kill them to wait just a couple of seconds more?

His scowl vanishes immediately though, and his eyes go wide, because the first thing he sees once he turns are eyes that are an unfair, gorgeous shade of blue, gleaming with amusement. It’s enough to knock the breath right out of his chest. Rin just gapes for a couple of seconds. He tamps down the part of his mind that traitorously tells him that he’s becoming a walking cliché – the token fucking loser in those rom-coms he secretly steals from the stash in Makoto and Haru’s apartment every now and then.

The second thing he picks up, is that the guy is tall. Tall enough that Rin has to tilt his head to meet his eyes. His eyes take in the soft-looking, minimally styled black hair first, and then the aristocratic nose, the sculpted jaw and they finally come to rest on the deliciously broad shoulders, clad in a form-fitting black polo tee. He’s ridiculously attractive, and the worst part is, Rin muses, thinking back to the entire hour he himself had taken to get ready for a night out at the pub, he isn’t even trying. He probably just walks around looking like this all the time.

When he notices the muscles almost bulging through the sleeves of the polo, he thinks for a single delirious moment that this guy must either work out seven days a week or be blessed by the Gods themselves. Then, he sees the guy’s mouth moving and realizes that he’s just been spacing out while staring at him gape-jawed. He shakes his head and composes himself because he doesn’t want Blue Eyes (Rin just starts referring to him in his head as that because his eyes are bluer than blue is blue, and _great_ , Nagisa had always teased him about being a hopeless romantic, and he’d always huffily denied it, but Rin is just about ready to start composing sonnets in his mind about those eyes) to cast him off as some sort of creep.

“-or is this enough?” Blue Eyes finishes, looking expectantly at him, and Rin rushes to reply.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that?” He tries for a cocktail of composed and friendly but his voice comes out embarrassingly high and his words sound stilted and too-quick even to his own ears.

Blue Eyes just flashes him a small, amused smile, perfect eyebrows lifting adorably and repeats himself.

“I asked if you wanted more of these, or if one’s enough.” He holds out the packet of Ramen to Rin, nudging it against his fingers until Rin takes it.

He’d pulled that packet off the shelf for Rin, he realizes. Had been giving him a hand. Rin’s cheeks flush and his gaze drops, quite accidentally landing on the outline of Blue Eyes’ chest in that polo tee, and really, something that form fitting should definitely be illegal, especially when worn by blue-eyed, too-tall men who did nice things for absolute strangers.

Then his eyes catch on the flimsy plastic name tag by the right side of his chest. Yamazaki, it reads, and in small print below that is ‘Store Employee’. And _oh_ , it made sense now. Rin had been too busy mopping up his own drool to connect that black polo tee to the store’s standard-issue employee uniform, and _of course_ Blue Eyes is an employee here.

His manager had probably just pointed poor, freezing, incapable Rin out to him and carted him off to give him a hand. Or even worse, Blue Eyes might have been stood at the end of the row the entire time and enjoyed the rather embarrassing show before finally taking pity on Rin and coming up to help him.

Rin sighs. And admits to himself that he’s being a little melodramatic here. He thinks that the cold must have frayed his nerves and put him on edge. Anyway, he tells himself, his life is most definitely not a rom-com (unless rom-coms involved four consecutive nights of cramming for papers, fits of tears over coffee-ruined history notes and bossy flatmates who didn’t know how to take a hint) and Rin really should’ve seen this coming from a mile away.

“No, no, one’s fine. Thanks.” He smiles at Yamazaki (He really had to stop romanticizing shit, and yeah, he’s going to start by calling dream boy by his fucking name) after pushing down the irrational disappointment that clouds his mind.

Yamazaki flashes another smile at him, this one warm and pleasant, and it’s amazing how different he looks when he does that. He goes from brooding model to friendly guy-next-door in seconds flat. And Rin is so, so weak, because he can’t help himself from cocking a hip to the side, raising an eyebrow at him and starting a conversation.

“Never seen you around before. You new?” Thank god his voice has more or less evened out this time.

“Yeah, yeah I am.” Yamazaki says, his own voice pleasant and just deep enough to stand out in a crowd. “Just moved here a month ago. Figured I’d earn a little money to get some extra reading material and swimming equipment.”

So he was a student then, too. Rin had considered it, but he hadn’t been too sure because the guy had a sort of age-ambiguous look about him that made that hard to confirm. And then Rin picks up on the second part of his sentence and genuine excitement creeps into his voice when he speaks again.

“Oh man, you swim too? What stroke? Or are you a jack of all trades kinda guy?”

Yamazaki’s face has brightened too, and he leans forward and into Rin’s space a little, eyes shining impossibly bright. He looks so young when he loses his composure and Rin mentally adds adorable to the steadily growing list of dreamy attributes the guy quite unfairly possesses.

“You're a swimmer?” He gives Rin a casual once-over. “Yeah, I should’ve known. I do butterfly mostly, dabble in a bit of crawl now and then. What about you?”

Rin laughs in delight, because, really, what were the chances.

“I started off with butterfly too, but focusing a little more on crawl now. There’s someone I gotta beat first before I can get back to butterfly.”

Sousuke gives him a knowing look.

“Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. Good luck with that. I swim on the team. You too, or do you just keep it free and easy?”

Rin thinks back to the grueling meets in high school, reaching home sometimes at midnight after pushing himself a little too hard during practice and then staying back for more, the desperate, angry tears that dripped into his pillow too often when he just couldn’t seem to shave those few seconds off, the destroyed look in Haru’s eyes as he’d stood over him victorious and told him he'd never swim with him again, and the terrible feeling of loss that had never quite lessened whenever he'd slapped his palm onto the wall, looked up at the scoreboard and seen a number other than 1 beside his name.

He shakes his head.

“No, I don’t swim competitively anymore.”

Yamazaki’s mouth twitches and he looks like he wants to say more, but then he just nods at him and holds out a hand for Rin to shake.

“Don’t think I’ve introduced myself. I’m Yamazaki Sousuke.” He rounds it up with that devastatingly attractive smile of his and yeah, Rin doesn’t know anything about the guy except his name and that he swims, but he’s a goner for him.

He reaches out to clasp the hand with his own and gives it a firm shake. Yamazaki’s hand dwarves his own, he’d expected nothing less, and it’s a veritable furnace when compared to Rin’s own clammy, cold ones.

“Matsuoka Rin. Nice to meet you.” He nods and smiles back at him, and this time, the flimsy hood slips right off his head and falls back to rest on his jacket.

Yamazaki, or Sousuke now (somehow, he thinks his given name suits him a lot better, can just imagine the syllables sliding off his tongue, smooth and comfortable) follows the motion with his eyes, gaze skimming over his hair and a single exposed ear, and then back to Rin’s face again, lingering a little on his eyes first, and then his mouth.

Rin flushes a little and this can’t be what he thinks it is, right? Stuff like this doesn’t _happen_ to Rin. It just doesn’t. Gou’s silly ideas and the ridiculously sparkly pages of her shoujo manga must be getting to him. But Sousuke’s eyes are fixed on Rin’s face now and the silence stretches out for what seems like hours to Rin.

Rin realizes belatedly that his hand is still engulfed in Sousuke’s own, and though the glorious warmth is seeping into his own one and the skin of his palm is soft, he can feel nervous sweat beginning to build on his own and Rin just knows Sousuke is going to notice soon too. He tugs his hand away self-consciously and watches as surprise registers on his face first, and then a tinge of embarrassment.

Sousuke lifts his own hand to rub at the side of his neck in an endearingly self-conscious gesture and Rin’s eyes are drawn almost magnetically to the way his biceps and shoulders strain and flex. He’s pretty sure that his shirt isn’t going to be able to take much more.

He steps back a little and it’s only then that Rin notices how close they’d been standing, Rin’s back nearly up against the rack behind him.

“Your hand’s really cold. Walked here?” He’s eyeing Rin’s ratty hoodie, bare neck and ungloved hands doubtfully.

“Yeah, I live just 10 minutes away. Didn’t expect it to be that bad outside, though.” He laughs a little self-depreciatingly and rubs his palms over his forearms, where he can still feel the remnants of the chill from before lingering persistently.

Sousuke’s eyes narrow a little in thought for a few seconds and then he turns on his heel and gestures for Rin to follow him. Rin does, a little confusedly. They aren’t heading in the direction of the cashier.

Then, the employee’s storeroom comes into view, nestled comfortably in the back end of the store and Sousuke turns back to him, holding a hand up and motioning for him to wait.

“Give me a second.” He leaves Rin standing by the entrance of the door, clutching onto his pack of four, and scratching at the back of his neck. He feels a little silly and shoves his free hand into the pocket of his sweatpants, trying to come across as casual. On second thought, he’s starting to feel a little warm, what with the comfortable heating in the store, and he tugs his hand out for a moment to unzip his jacket partially, letting his ratty, low-cut tank top show. Everything’s quiet for a couple of seconds and then:

“Watch out!” Thankfully, Rin’s reflexes have been honed well enough for him to step out of the way just in the nick of time as an orange blur comes rushing from the side aisle and does a dangerously sharp turn to slide into the corridor leading to the employees’ room. The bony edges of a shoulder still manage to catch against Rin’s own painfully though and he winces, trying to rub the sharp ache away.

The kid comes to a halt, and yeah, he’s definitely still a kid, all vividly orange hair and bright golden eyes sparkling with the typical boundless enthusiasm that gives him away as a high schooler. Probably a freshman too, by the looks of it. He’s wearing the same black polo as Sousuke is, but it looks completely different on him, hanging loose on his shoulders and making him look even younger.

“Oi.” Rin barks at him, adjusting the Ramen pack in his arms gingerly. “Watch where you’re going, brat.”

“Oh, sorry, sorry!” The kid grins at him sheepishly and Rin sighs and relents, because his eyes are earnest and puppyish and it’s really hard to hold a grudge against him when he’s looking at Rin like that. What happens next though, is beyond him.

The kid (Mikoshiba, his name tag announces) looks over Rin a little too curiously first, and then his eyes slip down to Rin’s chest, where his jacket is hanging open, and they become wide and dazed. His cheeks flush a violent red to match his hair.

“Cl-Cleavage!” He stammers, pointing right in the vicinity of Rin’s chest, and Rin’s own cheeks pinken, his free hand coming up to clutch at his tank top more than a little self-consciously.

Was this fucking kid serious? He’s asking for a beating, Rin thinks, he really is. He growls at him, wishing he’d chewed him out earlier like he’d wanted to, and balls his hand into a fist threateningly. The finger that’d been pointing at him drops.

“What did you just say, you little brat? I don’t think I caught that.” His eyebrow is twitching sporadically, he can feel it, and embarrassment and annoyance war within him. Annoyance wins out, and he bares his sharp teeth at him in a time-tested technique; one that’s worked well to intimidate almost every time he’s used it.

The brat squeaks, holding up his palms placatingly at Rin, and slowly backs away, only to find his back flush up against the pillar by the end of the corridor. Rin has had quite enough. He’s just about to turn on his heel, pay for his damn Ramen and get out of this place when the door to the employees’ room opens and Sousuke emerges, something blue draped over his left arm. The little smile on his face drops though, when he catches sight of Rin’s downturned eyebrows, pink cheeks and possibly murderous expression. He strides towards Rin, and Rin notices exactly when _he_ notices the kid cowering by the pillar.

Sousuke comes to a halt in front of Rin and heaves a long-suffering sigh.

“What did you do to Rin-san, Momotarou?” He asks, without even turning to look at the kid. The way Sousuke’s bass voice slides over his name thrills Rin more than it ought to have, and he thinks it says a lot about what a hopeless loser he really is.

“N-nothing! Didn’t do anything.” The kid looks panicked now, eyes darting from side to side nervously, conspicuously avoiding his own, and Rin’s irritation gives way to reluctant amusement.

Sousuke just folds his arms and taps his fingers patiently on his bicep. He’s still waiting for an answer, Rin realizes, and he panics at the thought of him finding out just what exactly had transpired in the time he’d been gone.

“Nothing happened, really.” Rin reaches out to pat Sousuke’s arm reassuringly first, and then turns a small, sharp smile in the kid’s direction, warning him to keep his mouth shut.

The kid just gulps and nods at him, and Rin lets his smile shift into something more genuine. Golden eyes widen, and then he lets a tentative smile of his own slip through. It’s a little adorable. Rin thinks the kid, Momotarou, as Sousuke had addressed him, might not be so bad after all. He’s definitely not the trouble-making sort, just a little too energetic and high on life for Rin’s tastes.

With the flightiness and general panic having left him now though, Momotarou apparently has boundless energy to spare once again and he bounds up to Sousuke like an over-eager puppy and tilts his head, motioning towards Rin.

“Yamazaki-san, so you ended up talking to him in the end!”

Sousuke just cuts him a glare from the corner of his eye, (Rin’s taken aback at how intimidating he manages to look, with those pretty blue eyes narrowed and the impressive eyebrows drawn down sharply, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t find it ridiculously attractive) and Momotarou shrinks back again.

Rin’s a little confused at what Momotarou had meant by that, and the fact that the both of them are having a silent, angry conversation in front of him right now (Momotarou’s eyebrows draw up a little too exaggeratedly and his mouth tilts down a tad too much for it to appear conspirational) does nothing to clear it up for him. He clears his throat and raises an eyebrow when blue and gold zip back to meet his own eyes.

Sousuke shoves Momotarou further down the corridor with a firm hand to his back, and surprisingly enough, the kid obediently heads off to the room tucked into the corner of the room. Rin’s left with Sousuke now, and he self-consciously tucks a few strands of hair behind his ear. He looks up and groans though, when the bright orange head pops back out from behind the door and the kid gazes at him a little contemplatively.

“Hey, Rin-san! That’s your name right? Have we met before? You look awfully familiar.” His nose scrunches up in thought and he taps at his chin with a finger.

 “I would’ve remembered if I’d ever met a brat like you.” Rin snorts at him in reply. And for good measure, adds another, “Brat.” He waves him away with a little smile though, and Momotarou’s beaming face disappears back into the room, door clicking shut behind him.

When he turns back to him, Sousuke’s eyes are alight with amusement, but then his gaze drifts down to Rin's newly exposed clavicles and upper chest languidly and something that Rin can’t quite identify passes over his expression. Their gazes meet and hold and Rin’s fingers start twitching a little restlessly.

“Seems like a good kid.” He throws out awkwardly, just to break the silence, but is surprised to realize that he really does mean it.

“Yeah, yeah, that he is.” Sousuke smiles to himself. “Clumsy and way too loud, but he’s a good one. Started working here a month before I joined, but I still ended up having to run him through everything.”

When he shifts to rest his weight on his left leg, Rin’s eyes are drawn to the blue material draped over his left forearm. Sousuke follows his gaze and perks up a little.

“Right.” He says, and holds it out for Rin to take. It’s a hoodie, and it looks new and thick and like it would be enough to keep someone warm deep in the throes of winter. It’s the exact colour of those incredible eyes, Rin realizes belatedly, and it really shouldn’t matter, but it makes it that much more appealing to him.

He looks down at his own mangy, grey hoodie a little self-consciously. And then back at the proffered one.

“Wait.” He says, a little confused, but an idea is forming rapidly in his head about what’s happening. “You’re lending this.” He tilts his head and gestures to himself, feeling silly, but determined to clear it up nonetheless, before he jumped to conclusions and ended up embarrassing himself. “To me?”

Sousuke just nods at him, eyebrows lifting in an almost earnest fashion, and then nudges it towards him again. Rin lets his hands drift down to tangle in the blue fabric, and yeah, it feels just as soft and amazing as he’d thought it would, and he thinks he can almost feel the remnants of Sousuke’s body heat when he delves his hand further into the warm satiny folds of it.

He wants it, wants it because it’s Sousuke’s, and he’d been wearing it just hours before and it’d probably still _smell_ like him. He shakes his head though.

“No, no, I really couldn’t. It’s already cold outside and your shift probably ends late, so it’s gonna be freezing then.”

Sousuke just waves his hand at him reassuringly.

“My boss usually drops me off when we close up. I live a couple of streets away from him. Don’t worry, you can pass it back to me the next time you’re here.”

And that’s reassurance enough for Rin to take the hoodie from Sousuke’s hands, brushing up against warm fingers shamelessly.  He cradles the soft warmth to his chest with his left arm and when he catches the barest whiff of spicy mint, he has to restrain himself from just pushing his nose into it and inhaling deep like he really wants to.

“Thank you, Sousuke-san. Really.” He looks up from under his lashes at Sousuke, feeling unaccountably shy, now that he’d accepted the kind gesture.

Sousuke just smiles at him again, shaking his head and running an absent hand through that soft-looking hair in what looks like a bashful gesture. When he brings it back down to his side, tufts of hair are sticking up from either side of his head adorably and Rin can’t help his little laugh.

“What?” Sousuke asks, tone playful, though he looks like he already knows, what with the way Rin’s eyes are flickering from his face to his hair amusedly.

Rin sucks his bottom lip into his mouth for a thoughtful second, and then decides to go for it. He shifts the hoodie so that it’s sandwiched between his arm and his chest, and then tip-toes a little, reaching his free hand up to smooth down the strands until they’re more or less back in place. His hair is incredibly soft and cool to the touch and Rin catches a whiff of strawberry when he leans in just a little closer than what’s strictly necessary.

When he drops back down to his heels and shifts away again, Sousuke is looking at him, eyes a little wide and cheeks tinted just the barest hint of pink. Rin’s own eyes widen then, because oh shit, that had been way too forward, hadn’t it? For all he knew, Sousuke could’ve been helping him out because he’d looked rather pitiful, and he’d just read too much into it; maybe Rin had just been projecting.

His worries are assuaged in the next second though, because Sousuke’s eyes gleam contentedly and he brings his hand to rest on the curve of Rin’s shoulder, patting it once before sliding it down to his elbow in a deliberately slow caress and then letting it drop back to his side. The tightness in his chest eases up a little in the wake of the warmth left by his touch.

Then his eyes catch on the dial of his wristwatch and he panics. It’s almost been half an hour since he first stepped into the store. He hadn’t noticed the time pass by at all, and he’s sure that it has everything to do with tall, dark and handsome standing right in front of him, looking beautiful and happy and in the process, doing some serious damage to Rin’s priorities and general sanity.

“Listen.” He starts, but Sousuke just drops a hand to his back and guides him in the direction of the cashier, slowing a little so that the pace of his long strides match Rin’s own. Where his actions with Momotarou had been brisk and to-the-point, with Rin, he’s strangely gentle, his hand big and warm on his lower back even through the material of his hoodie.

“Yeah, you need to get back for dinner right? Someone must be waiting for you?” His tone is casual and light, but Rin does an internal fist pump because this, _this_ , he recognizes. He’s seen the girls from his university do this very thing to Makoto far too often when they were having lunch together on campus to not recognize it for what it is. Rin decides to toy with him a little.

“Yeah, he’s probably throwing a fit about how dinner’s getting cold and all.” Even as he manages to get the words out without giggling, he mentally apologizes to Rei (and Nagisa) for using him as a stooge for his own twisted mind games. From the corner of his eye, he sees Sousuke’s shoulders stiffen just barely noticeably. His hand begins to slide off Rin’s back, and Rin really doesn’t want to lose that electric touch, doesn't want to lose that contact so quickly after he'd spent so long yearning for it, so he clears his throat and interjects quickly.

“My flatmate, that is. He’s bossy as hell, but he's a decent cook, so I guess I put up with him.”

Sousuke turns his head the same time he does, and when their eyes meet, Rin can see the relief clear as day in his eyes. He laughs and shakes his head and Rin somehow knows that he’s realized exactly what Rin had been doing back there. His hand resumes its position on his back and Rin leans back into it the slightest bit.

They’re at the cashier soon enough though, and Rin reluctantly moves away from him to queue up at the first counter. There’s not much of a crowd, it must’ve dispersed while Rin had been in his little dream world with Sousuke. When the girl in front of him finishes and moves on ahead, he absent-mindedly transfers whatever he has in his hands to the check-out belt.

The cashier is a grey-haired, nervous looking kid with a bowl-cut that would look unfortunate on anyone else, but just kind of looks adorable on him.  He takes one look at the belt and squeaks out something, cheeks flushing.

“I’m sorry?” Rin leans in a little closer to hear the kid better.

“Um, I asked if, um, if that was Yamazaki-san’s hoodie.” He looks like he wants to be anywhere but here, and Rin wonders if he looks particularly intimidating today, or if that’s just how the kid is with everyone.

 _Then_ , he realizes that he’s dumped the hoodie along with his Ramen onto the belt.

He smacks his palm against his forehead, his own cheeks flushing, and he quickly looks behind him to check if Sousuke has noticed. He evidently has, because he’s laughing a little, from where he’s leaning against the snacks aisle, and he flashes a teasing thumbs-up to Rin. Rin whips his head back, his pulse racing at the sight of him looking all casual and attractive, legs going on for miles in those standard-issue black slacks and mostly at the way he’s watching him, watching _Rin._

He scoops the jacket back up and slings it over his left shoulder, and the kid is eyeing him a little less nervously and a lot more speculatively now. Rin has to squint a little to learn his name because his name tag is scratched and bent at places; must be an older employee then. Nitori bags his pack of Ramen and reads out the price on the till.

He fishes out the exact change for it and thanks him before grabbing the bag and striding towards the exit. When he reaches the doors, he quickly zips up his own hoodie before pulling Sousuke’s one down and slipping his arms into the thick sleeves almost reverently. He’s immediately shrouded by cozy warmth and the overwhelming scent of mint and something deliciously spicy. He closes his eyes and lets himself inhale once, twice, because really, he should be allowed this one indulgence, shouldn’t he?

He zips up the hoodie and finds that it’s hanging very loosely off his form, sleeves stretching past his wrists and folding over his fingers, and extra material bunching and hanging off his shoulders. The hem of the jacket comes down to mid-thigh, and he wonders if he should tuck it in to avoid looking like a drowned rat, but then opts not to, because his chilled thighs feel wonderful now.  (And mostly because he likes the way it feels almost proprietary on him, likes the reminder that he’s wearing _Sousuke’s_ jacket).

He looks back over his shoulder one last time, and sure enough, Sousuke’s eyes are still on him, and even from this distance, Rin can make out the way they shine the colour of the sea, bright and impossibly beautiful. Rin lifts his hand in farewell and mouths a ‘thanks’ at him, unsure if Sousuke would be able to understand from all the way over there.

But Sousuke nods and waves back at him, and just as Rin pushes the glass door open and slips out, he lifts his hand to his ear in the universal ‘call me’ gesture, his smile wide and unselfconscious.

Rin eyes widen and where the cold was oppressive and near unbearable on his trip here, he can barely feel it now, partly due to the warmth of the jacket enveloping him but mostly because his mind is racing with possibilities. He starts walking briskly. Call him? Was that what he’d meant? He’s pretty sure he hadn’t misinterpreted the gesture, but he doesn’t have Sousuke’s number, does he?

Then, a stray though flits through his mind, and he wants to dismiss it, he really does, but the temptation is too strong and he slips a hand into the pocket of the hoodie and feels around for something, anything. Nothing. There’s only the heady warmth that Rin has come to associate with the jacket and empty space. Disappointment seeps into his chest.

Had he just been joking, then? Rin was sure that he hadn’t been, but then again, his interpretations of social situations aren’t exactly what one would deem accurate, he’s heard that from his sister one time too many. A sliver of hope persists in him though, and needles relentlessly at his consciousness. He slips a hand into the left pocket this time.

He’s just about to give up when he feels the unmistakably smooth texture of what could only be paper brush over his fingers. His heart is about to thump out of his chest any moment now, he thinks. When he fishes the piece of paper out, he notices that his hands are trembling again, just like when he’d first walked here, but for a very different reason now.

The paper is neatly folded into quarters and he smooths over it with his thumb before carefully unraveling it.

‘You’re really beautiful.’ is printed on the top row, in endearingly slanted and spiky handwriting. And then below it: ‘Call me (if you want to)’, followed by a string of numbers.

Rin laughs loud and clear into the cold air, and his breath condenses and forms a cloud of vapour as he does. He brings the little slip of paper to brush over his lips tenderly, before he holds it close to his chest. Then, he pulls the hood up and drops his chin to his chest, burying his nose into where Sousuke’s scent is the strongest.

If his step is light and his arms swing ridiculously high into the air the rest of the way home, well no one would be there to question him, would there? He doesn’t care who might be watching him, and he doesn’t care if someone is going to think he’s gone loopy from the cold, because for once, the day has turned out right for Matsuoka Rin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The initial plan was for Sousuke to be a final year high school student and Rin to be a sophomore in uni, so if I make this a WIP, be warned, if you're iffy about stuff like that.
> 
> I'm still considering if i should do it or not, because I literally have so many headcanons for flatmates!ReiRin and Rei's almost-boyfriend Nagisa who comes over all the time and gets on Rin's nerves. And of course, Rin's long suffering best friends, Makoto and Haru.
> 
> Excuse any (or all) bouts of bad writing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin had wrapped his hand around the little square securely and now he clenches his fist to make sure that it’s still there, that the entire thing hadn’t just been a long, elaborate dream. 
> 
> It crinkles between his fingers and he can’t help his giddy smile from resurfacing. His cheeks are starting to ache a little from the ridiculous amount of smiling he’s done in the last five minutes, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little warning: This chapter isn't heavy on the SouRin interaction at all. But I'll be sure to make up for that in the next one, promise.

By the time Rin turns the corner, pushes open the gates of the apartment complex and lets himself in, it’s pitch dark outside and the entire area is still and utterly devoid of people.

Even the legions of stray cats (there were enough to form a small army) that usually milled about the walkways in expectation of scraps (Rin not-so-secretly slips bowls of milk and minced tuna to them a few times a week) and hopped onto the ledges to watch people come and go are nowhere to be found. Only the faint chirping of crickets follows him as he lopes up the stairs, mind still reeling from the high of coming across the slip of paper with Sousuke’s number on it.

He’d wrapped his hand around the little square securely and now he clenches his fist to make sure that it’s still there, that the entire thing hadn’t just been a long, elaborate dream. It crinkles between his fingers and Rin can’t help his giddy smile from resurfacing. His cheeks are starting to ache a little from the ridiculous amount of smiling he’s done in the last five minutes, really.

His mind helpfully supplies him first with the image of Sousuke’s beautiful eyes in the bright white lights of the store, and then the way little creases formed by the corners of his eyes as he’d smiled at Rin a little shyly.

It’s only when his thoughts start drifting to less innocent parts of his anatomy (Rin is still having a mini crisis of faith over the width of those shoulders and how it looked like Rin could wrap both hands around his biceps and barely have them touch) that he realizes he’s reached the third storey. The smell of freshly cooked, well-seasoned beef wafts over to the stairwell and Rin’s mouth waters for an entirely different reason now.

He carefully slips the folded square back into the left pocket of the hoodie, brings his arm up to tuck his nose into the soft warmness of the sleeve and inhales just once, deep and slow. The corner of his lips twitch again and he pats his cheeks with both hands and wills his expression into a semblance of something normal.

When he reaches the doorstep, he hears voices talking over one another loudly and almost frantically; he’s not surprised at all, really. But he  _is_  taken aback when the mahogany door swings open from the inside just as he’s reaching for the doorknob and he yelps and staggers back a couple of steps.

A slender body comes hurtling at him and he manages to bring his arms up just in time to shift the plastic bag out of the way and catch Nagisa as he latches onto him and nuzzles his blonde head into Rin’s sternum. The impact makes him teeter though, his balance already compromised by his earlier shock, and he reaches out a hand to grip the corridor railings for support.

“Rin-chaaan! We were so worried! Rei-chan said you ran off without a proper jacket or gloves or a scarf, and, and you were gone for so long!” Nagisa’s voice is muffled in the folds of his hoodie, but Rin can still make out that it’s a tad wobbly.

He lifts his eyes to Rei’s, where he’s standing by the gates, to confirm his account because Nagisa was nothing but honest, but he was also prone to bouts of exaggeration. Rei’s unusually flushed cheeks and the mildly distressed look in his eyes that’s being rapidly replaced by relief tells Rin that Nagisa hadn’t been off the mark at all this time though, and guilt settles in his chest.

“Rin-san, we were afraid you were going to be passed out on the streets somewhere along the way. We were getting ready to go out and look for you.” Rei’s voice is admonishing now, and Rin has to bite back the automatic urge to snap at him, because  _he’s_  the one at fault here and really, he’s more than a little touched that his flatmate had been worried about him enough to brave the cold to go looking for him.

Had it really been that long? Their grocery runs usually took little more than ten or fifteen minutes though, so he can understand where Rei is coming from. He sighs and brings a hand up to Nagisa’s fluffy hair, mussing it up even more, before prying him off of his torso with firm hands to his shoulders.

“Hey, look, I’m fine, see?” He shakes his hands first and then wiggles his feet a little. “All limbs still attached. I’m sorry,” He flashes a tentative smile down at Nagisa first and then turns his apologetic gaze to Rei. “Honestly didn’t mean to worry you guys.”

Nagisa struggles against the grip Rin has on his shoulders, his head coming to butt Rin in the chest over and over affectionately until Rin laughs and shoves at him. He catches Rei pushing up his glasses further up onto the bridge of his nose in that characteristic  _Rei_ manner that Rin has come to expect, and when he spots the reluctant little smile twitching at his lips, Rin heaves a relieved sigh, realizing that all’s been forgiven.

His mouth cracks open into a tired yawn almost immediately after and it’s only then that he realizes he’s worn out not only from the three hour paper that he’d stumbled his way through earlier in the afternoon, but also the sequence of events that’d transpired not too long ago in the store.

Rei, having picked up on it almost immediately, ushers Nagisa and him inside impatiently and yanks the gate shut behind them, stopping briefly to click the lock on the main door. Nagisa unzips his jacket and tugs off his muffler in two seconds flat and then quite predictably moves towards Rei to start pulling at his scarf in playful motions. Rin watches with a little grin as Rei makes distressed sounds and tries to back away from the persistent little bugger.

He lets his haul from the store slip onto the floor and starts working on the zip of his own hoodie, no  _Sousuke’s hoodie,_  he reminds himself, and just the thought of it makes him dizzy with excitement all over again because he still can’t quite believe it. Nagisa’s keen eyes catch the tiny twitch of his lips though, and he pauses in the middle of playing tug of war with Rei over the poor scarf and surveys Rin from head to toe curiously.

“Rin-chan, is that a new hoodie? Did you get the wrong size?” His eyes are gleaming curiously and he's screwed now because Rei collects himself and tosses the scarf onto the coffee table before turning his own gaze on Rin.

His eyes widen immediately when he takes in what Rin’s wearing and he tilts his head thoughtfully.

“Rin-san,” He asks, his eyebrows lifting high up on his forehead in what Rin has come to recognize as a curious tic, “Did someone lend you their jacket by any chance?”

Rin tries to keep a straight face, he really does, but his mouth can’t stop twitching feebly and so he looks away and to the side, huffing a little.

“Isn’t that obvious?”

He wills the blood not to rush to his cheeks and it must mostly work, because the both of them just turn their gazes to each other and do that disgusting couple thing where they communicate silently (Rin sometimes suspects that the entire thing may just be Nagisa trying to send over all sorts of funky messages and Rei just staring back at him in incomprehension, but he’ll never know for sure) before Rei starts making his way to the make-shift dining table shoved awkwardly in the small space between the kitchen and the living room. It’s an old one, passed on to them by Rei’s mother after their family had gotten a new one, but the teak wood is sturdy and with a little polishing and the addition of a floral table cloth, it looks more than presentable.

Three sets of bowls, cups and utensils have been laid out neatly on the surface but Rin’s eyes are immediately drawn to the main attraction: succulent-looking, browned strips of beef that are still sizzling a little in the pan they’re in. His nose twitches when the positively divine smell of miso drifts over as Rei lifts the heavy lid off the ceramic pot and then he’s by the kitchen sink in two seconds tops, washing his hands and face.

When he’s done, he makes haste back to the dining table and drags out a chair, flopping onto it lazily. He rests his chin on his palm and watches as Rei slaps Nagisa’s chopsticks away from the beef irritably. He smirks, pushing his bowl forward as Rei ladles soup into it and nodding at him in thanks.

“So, Rei, you  _just_ happened to make enough for three again, huh?” He lifts an eyebrow at him.

Rei just turns his face away to the side, mouth setting into a stubborn moue.

“Yes, I just happened to, Rin-san. Is there a problem with that?” His voice is huffy and when Rin laughs at him, he throws a baleful glare his way.

Rin doesn’t know why the guy just doesn’t admit by now that both of them cook dinner for three instead of two almost every day now. Nagisa, the little gate-crasher, always seemed to show up randomly, sometimes at odd hours in the afternoon (he'd once gone through all five packets of Rin's favourite low-calorie wheat tortilla chips and had the fucking gall to complain about how tasteless they had been), but mostly near to dinner time.

Nagisa lives on campus, but from what Rin knows, he doesn’t get along swimmingly with his flatmates (they’re the snooty sort apparently), and so Rin doesn’t mind all that much that he’s essentially living with two flatmates instead of the one that’d been advertised. Rei and Nagisa are rarely apart anyway, and Rin has come to see them as a package deal. Quite a lot like Makoto and Haru, if he really thinks about it.

“Itadakimasu!” Nagisa takes a deep breath and then the next second, he’s gulping at the Miso soup, shoving pieces of beef into his mouth and chewing at the white rice, all at once, if that was even possible. No matter how many times Rin sees the little shit eat, he never fails to get surprised at how much alike to a black hole his stomach is. He’s almost a little jealous, because where the fuck did all that food go anyway? Nagisa is a veritable beanpole, not an extra ounce of fat to be found anywhere on his body (well, he wouldn’t really know about  _anywhere_ , would have to ask Rei about that, he thinks naughtily), and Rin just knows that if he ate like Nagisa did, he’d be the size and consistency of the sagging beanbag resting in the middle of the living room.

He picks up his own chopsticks in a much more leisurely fashion and reaches out to snatch a few pieces of beef off the pan and pop them in his mouth, moaning in delight when it just about melts in his mouth, the flavour rich and delicious. Rei turns a smug glance at him and he immediately schools his expression, spooning rice into his mouth and chewing on it insistently. Rei is still looking at him as he sips at the soup, and Rin relents.

“Yeah, it’s good, it’s really good, Rei. I don’t know why we have to go through this every single time.”

“Well, if you weren’t so stingy with your praise, Rin-san, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.” He demurs a litltle snootily and Rin’s eyebrow twitches in annoyance. He’s right, but Rin isn’t going to give him the satisfaction of letting him know that.

He pointedly turns back to his food, sighing a little as the last hints of the bone deep chill from before wear away, slowly replaced by the warmth of the broth and the fragrant rice. Rei is nudging a piece of leek into an unwilling Nagisa’s mouth with his chopsticks now and Nagisa pouts exaggeratedly, but opens his mouth and chews on it anyway.

Rei and Nagisa are.. well, Rin isn’t exactly sure what they are. Rei had answered the ad he’d put up in the student paper at the end of his first year calling out for potential flatmates, and Rin had initially been dubious about sharing a flat with a freshman, but then he’d met the guy and he seemed to be reasonable enough, if a bit strange and particular about the aesthetics of the apartment (for fuck’s sake, the guy had rationalized for fifteen minutes about why it would only be beautiful if the vase were placed in the corner of the coffee table rather than the middle, and he would have kept going on too if Rin hadn’t interrupted and told him to shut it).

But beggars can’t be choosers, like his mum reminds him and Gou every now and then (terribly helpful advice, really), and so Rin had met up with Rei the very next day and signed the contract with the landlord.

What he hadn’t expected though, was his flatmate coming with extra baggage: a very hyper and blonde sort of baggage. He and Rei had been moving their things in bit by bit and on the third day, when he’d stepped into the bare apartment, lugging his carry-on bag which was bursting at the seams, he’d tripped and fallen right on his ass when he’d seen the blonde menace curled up by the corner, munching on some chips. He’d almost thought he’d walked into the wrong apartment. Then the kid looked up and:

“Rin-chan! Rei-chan told me you had pointy teeth. Like a shark. Can I see them?” He’d asked, wine-coloured eyes bright and grin sunny, and Rin had turned and walked right out. It would be safe to say that Nagisa hadn’t exactly made the best first impression.

He’d eventually come around though, after two weeks of having Nagisa bound about the flat, popping his head into Rin’s room uninvited and flopping onto his bed and generally making a nuisance out of himself. Whenever he tried to ask him why he was bothering Rin, he’d just pout and brush it off with: “Rei-chan’s being bossy again.” Well, Rin could at least agree him with on that one.

It was only two months later that Rin had finally come to realize that Nagisa had become a staple in his everyday routine, that Rin had actually come to think of him as not only a friend, but a really close friend at that. Nagisa seemed rather thick-skinned and obnoxiously cheerful at first glance, but Rin had come to realize that he had a surprisingly serious side to him, and more importantly, that he was a really good person to talk to when Rin felt down.

He remembers Nagisa bursting into his room one evening and finding him bent over his desk in frustrated tears because nothing had been going right for the past two weeks and the fact that he’d sprained his ankle that morning and pissed off two of his professors simultaneously were only the icing on top of that disastrous cake. He remembers the embittered, lonely feelings from two years ago clawing at his chest persistently and how he'd felt like he was getting pulled back into that state of mind all over again. He hadn’t even wanted to acknowledge the pending extra-credit project that was due the next day: one he hadn’t even touched thus far.

Nagisa had just patted his head and played with his hair, surprisingly silent, until the flow of Rin’s tears had halted, and then he’d handed him a couple of tissues and heaved himself onto the desk, legs swinging about.

He’d managed to get everything out of Rin. And he hadn’t laughed once or demeaned him when Rin had sniffled and stumbled his way through what was probably a rather ridiculous list of issues. Nagisa had interjected to give surprisingly helpful advice and when he’d finished, smiled at him assuringly.

_“Rin-chan’s going to be fine. Because the Rin-chan I know wouldn’t beat himself up over things he can’t control. He’d just move on and try to make the best of the situation.”_

When Rin had stared wide-eyed at him, all out of tears by then, he’d just ruffled his hair again and then disappeared to the kitchen. When he’d come back, he’d thrown a bag of tortilla chips (he’d realized only then that he hadn’t eaten anything the entire day and was probably hypoglycemic at that point) at him along with a bottle of orange juice and let him know that he could help out with Rin’s extra-credit project that night.

True to his word, he’d stayed over and Rin had managed to turn it in the next day. But more than that, Nagisa, true to form, had managed to lift him out of his self-imposed, pitiful slump.

He smiles to himself now in reminiscence and reaches out to grab a couple more strips of beef and toss them into Nagisa’s bowl.

“Eat up, short stuff, and maybe you can dream of growing somewhere past my shoulder some day. Don’t bank on it, though.”

Nagisa grins at him, accepting the gesture for what it is, and continues gobbling up his food. Rei’s eyes drift to him and shimmer a little in recognition, before he turns that overly fond gaze on Nagisa again.

Rin’s not exactly lonely, he really doesn’t have much time to sit around feeling sorry for himself over trivial things like that, but he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about what it’d be like to have someone look at him like that. Makoto and Haru are amazing friends really, and Nagisa and Rei have wormed themselves quite irrevocably into his heart, but what would it be like, he wonders, to have someone he could hold close to him when he’s having a bad day, someone who’d pepper kisses onto his hair without him having to say a word, someone for  _himself_.

He’s embarrassed when his thoughts immediately drift to blue eyes, and he cringes at how needy he’s acting, getting attached to someone whom he’d met just barely an hour ago; a stranger in almost every sense of the word, really.

He still can’t help his gaze from turning to the blue lump lying innocently on the coffee table. This time though, Rei follows his gaze and he pauses with a morsel of beef held in front of his mouth. And then lays his chopsticks down on the table in a deliberate motion. Nagisa turns to look at Rei curiously first, and then Rin, and he just knows that they hadn’t actually dropped the issue at all. They’d just been biding their time to confront Rin about it, the sneaky little shits.

Rei clears his throat.

“What?” Rin asks, shoving more rice into his mouth stubbornly and hoping to stall their inevitable barrage of questions.

“Rin-chan’s been looking off into space and smiling to himself since he came back.”

“Did you perhaps run into someone, Rin-san? Is that why you took so long?”

They time their questions in such a way that Rei picks up smoothly right where Nagisa’s left off. Damn couples and their freaky synchronization habits.

He thinks about brushing it off and growling at them. It’d probably work to put them (or at least Rei) off for today. But they  _are_  his friends and he’d be seeing them everyday after all, Rin thinks to himself, and he swallows his mouthful and decides.

He follows Rei’s example and sets his own chopsticks down, rubbing at the back of his neck with a hand, unsure of where to begin.

“Ahh, so there was someone!” Nagisa exclaims and bits of rice fly out from his full mouth. Rin grimaces at the unsightliness of it all.

“Swallow your food before you talk, Nagisa, it’s disgusting.” Nagisa pouts, but swallows and then waits, eyes curious and wide.

“I ran into this guy at the store. An employee. Part-time, that is. He’s a student too. He’s new here so maybe that’s why we haven’t seen him around campus.”

Rei nods at him to go on, adjusting his glasses.

“He.. Well, he helped me get the packets off the top shelf and all. Was really nice. And uh.”

Rin takes a deep breath, willing himself not to break out into a embarrassingly goofy smile. It doesn’t work.

“And he gave me his number.” He finishes, and he’s not only smiling now, his cheeks are starting to heat up again at the memory of Sousuke’s long legs and smooth voice and the way he’d  _looked_ at Rin, like he wanted to know everything about him, like Rin was someone worth the effort. 

Mostly, though he’s just surprised at how much he himself attracted to Sousuke. He’s never really thought that he’s had a particular type (not that he’s had much experience in dating at all), but if someone were to ask him now, he’d point straight to Sousuke. He can’t tell what exactly it is about him: it’s the entire package, he thinks.

Rei and Nagisa are looking at each other in surprise now, probably taken aback that Rin’s being so forthcoming, when they’d in all likeliness expected him to brush the topic off like he was prone to doing.

Then Nagisa laughs delightedly and throws up his arms. He nudges Rei with a bony shoulder.

“Rin-channn! That’s amazing! Rei-chan, don’t you think this is great, don’t you, don’t you?”

Rei smiles at him, and it makes his eyes crease into adorable little lines.

“I’m really happy for you, Rin-san. Are you going to tell Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai too?”

Rin is taken aback at how genuinely delighted the both of them are for him. He’s always known somewhere deep down inside that Rei and Nagisa have noticed how lonely he seems sometimes, but he’s always bulldozed on with assignments and swimming and everything else that needed attention, hoping to avoid that particular confrontation.

But now, seeing how much his friends really care, a lump starts forming in his throat. He swallows it down and turns mildly wet eyes to them.

“Thanks. Really. I’m going to drop him a text. His name is Sousuke, by the way. Yamazaki Sousuke.”

Nagisa crows again in delight, but Rei’s eyes narrow a little and he looks deep in thought.

“Yamazaki.. Sousuke. Where have I heard that name before?” His nose scrunches up thoughtfully for a few seconds, but then he just waves his hand about and smiles at Rin again.

“Oh right, Rei, Nagisa, don’t tell Haru or Makoto about this just yet when you see them during Art . I’ll tell them myself next week.”

Both of them nod at him and that’s that. Rin looks down and smiles at his rapidly cooling bowl of Miso again. He allows himself to feel a little satisfied at how his life is coming along now, especially when he flashes back to the disaster it’d been just two years ago, disappointment after disappointment until he’d dug himself deep into a hole that he didn’t seem to have any hope of climbing out of.

Everything’s different now. He has friends who care about him, a sister and a mother whom he actually talks to frequently, and now maybe even someone who’d be able to be part of Rin’s life in a completely different way. He’s probably jumping the gun here, he’s barely known the guy for an hour, but it doesn’t stop the hope from welling in his chest, liquid and abundant.

He thinks back to the anger in eyes a wholly different shade of blue, eyes that were usually so impassive, recalls angry, hurtful words being thrown about and his own desperate tears with a painful sort of clarity.

“You’re selfish Rin, you’re so selfish.”

Those words are embedded deep in Rin’s heart. They serve as a memory for him to never ever go down the path he had been on before; he doesn’t want to hurt the people he cares about anymore, doesn’t want to push them away and go back to how he’d been living back then. Alone and bitter and too focused on a dream that had only been steadily slipping out of his fingers with every step he’d thought he’d been taking towards realizing it.

The rest of dinner passes without much fanfare and Nagisa, for once, to both his and Rei’s amazement, offers to take over cleaning duty. He grins at Rin, when Rin questions him about the distinctly uncharacteristic behaviour.

“I’m sure you have more important stuff to do, Rin-chan.” He winks at him. And then, to Rei’s utter disbelief, latches on to his arm and drags him to the kitchen. “Rei-chan will help me, anyway.”

“Nagisaaa-kun, I did not agree to this.” Rei bellows in protest and struggles against Nagisa’s surprisingly firm grip all the way to the kitchen sink, and Rin just shakes his head fondly at them, turning on his heel and grabbing the hoodie off the coffee table in a quick motion before heading to his own room.

He flips on the light switch and nudges the door shut. And then fishes his phone out from the pocket of his sweatpants before flinging himself onto the bed with a sigh of contentment. His stomach is pleasantly full and warm from the delicious food and his eyes are drooping lazily. He’s still clutching the hoodie with both hands and he can’t resist the temptation to curl around it and revel in the warmth and the scent of it. He nuzzles his nose into the hood.

Would it be too early to zip off a text to Sousuke? It probably would. His shift might not even have ended yet and the last thing Rin wants to do is come off as over-eager. He knows some guys are put off by that, and even though Rin is a needy person by nature (it’s one of his biggest downfalls), he’s afraid that it might send Sousuke scurrying off if he let that aspect of his personality seep into his early interactions with him.

His fingers drift to the pocket of the hoodie though, and he ends up pulling the slip of paper out. He unfolds the square and scans over it only once before a smile is breaking out onto his face;  _again_. He buries his face into the hoodie again in embarrassment.

‘You’re so beautiful’ he’d written, and Rin’s only ever had that told to him a couple of times in his life before; mostly while his mother had been carding her hands through his hair as he’d lay with his head on her lap, sleepy and content. The other time, Rin doesn’t want to think about, not ever again.

He wonders what Sousuke, amiable, gorgeous Sousuke, who probably was an excellent swimmer and student at that, could have found beautiful in Rin. Doesn’t want to delve too deep into it, because he’d just end up second-guessing himself, insecure as he is.

He takes a deep breath and reads over the note again, lingering on each word carefully this time, memorizing the way Sousuke’s spiky handwriting curled on the Es and drew out the As carefully. And then lifts his phone up and switches over to messages. He taps at the screen to open up a blank message and keys in the number printed on the piece of paper.

‘Hi.’ He types out, and then quickly deletes the two letters. Was that too typical? Should he start with something a bit more creative? Then snorts at how silly he’s being and types the same word out again.

‘Hi. This is Rin. From the grocery store, in case you’ve forgotten (Hope you haven’t, because that would be awkward). The one you saw struggling with the Ramen packets.’

His fingers fly over the keypad, and he’s just rambling now, so he slaps a palm over his eyes and rests his chin on the softness of the hoodie contemplatively. He makes up his mind, brings the phone back up and deletes the entire message. He types a fresh string of words out and sends it off, quick as lightning, before he can begin to doubt himself again.

He brings up the conversation window again and glances at what he’s just sent to Sousuke. Then cringes.

‘Sousuke, this is Matsuoka Rin from the store earlier. This is my number, in case you wanted it. Get home safely from your shift. And text me back if you want to.’

Had that come off as too eager? Or maybe it’d been the opposite and was too aloof. Would Sousuke be put off by that and just block Rin’s number all together, casting him off as one of his probably numerous bad decisions?

He’s torn out of his frantic reverie when his phone starts blaring the opening to his favourite Young The Giant song, the jerky vibrations on his chest making him jump a little on the bed.

His eyes widen and it couldn’t be, it really couldn’t, it was probably just Makoto calling him to check if he was free tomorrow, or maybe in some cruel twist of fate, a telemarketer calling to ask him if he wanted to sign up for premium life insurance (he doesn't).

His eyes scan the number on the caller ID and then drift to the one on the slip of paper. They match. It’d barely been a minute since he’d sent off that message.

He presses receive and holds the phone up to his ear shakily. And just breathes into the static.

There’s silence for a few seconds, only interrupted by the sound of a horn going off in the distance. He must be on the road then, done with his shift and getting dropped home by his employer, like he’d mentioned. Then:

“Rin-san?” The voice is different on the phone, deeper and huskier somehow, but Rin can sense the touch of hesitancy in it. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out because his heart is pounding like a drum now and he can’t breathe properly.

“Is that you, Rin-san?” Sousuke asks again, voice a little more confident now, and Rin bites out a reply.

“Ye-yeah, it’s me. Hi.” His mouth twists in embarrassment at the woefully inadequate answer. He’d imagined and even acted out so many scenarios in his head about how this would proceed, and all of them had involved him throwing out charming words and keeping the conversation going smoothly. It’s the exact opposite of what’s happening right now, and really, Rin should’ve known, because when the hell had his deluded ideas ever actualized anyway.

“I’m glad you texted me. I was worried you’d have just forgotten all about it.” Sousuke laughs a little, but the sound is self-depreciating and he’s  _so_  wrong, so terribly wrong; Rin wouldn’t ever quite be able to forget those eyes.

“No no, I was happy you, um, that you gave me your number, Sousuke-san.”

There’s a pause, and then another laugh, relieved and a lot more genuine this time.

“Oh, good. That’s good. You can just call me Sousuke by the way, it feels a little strange to be addressed formally.”

Rin bites the inside of his cheek and tests it out on his tongue.

“Sousuke.” He breathes, and there’s a tiny intake of breath from the other end of the line. “You should call me Rin too. It’s only fair.”

“Alright then, Rin.” Rin scrunches his eyes shut and presses his lips together tightly to stop the delighted sound from escaping.

“So, Rin. I was wondering if you were free this weekend. No pressure though. Just lay it out to me, if you’ve got other things on.”

His heart leaps in anticipation but he waits a beat before answering, not wanting to sound like an excited puppy being offered a treat.

“Well, I’m pretty much free the entire day tomorrow. Just gotta get my morning run out of the way, and then I’m all yours.” His eyes widen at the unintentional suggestiveness of that phrase and he splutters a little, correcting himself.

“I mean- Uh, I’m free, that is, not all yours.”

“We’ll see about that, won’t we?” Sousuke demurs, voice pitched low. Rin might have squeaked a little. He’s not sure. But his cheek is hot when he brings a palm up to it unsteadily.

Sousuke’s ensuing laugh is amused and warm and Rin scowls and huffs a little at the cruel, cruel teasing.

“Morning run, huh? Well count me in for that. If you don’t mind having a buddy, that is. We can grab breakfast after.”

Rin startles.

“You really don’t have to. We can just meet in town straight, I don’t want you to inconvenience yourself for my sake.”

“No, no, not at all. I need to keep myself in shape anyway.”

It’s of Rin’s opinion that if the guy kept himself any more in shape, he’d have to physically pry horny teenagers and middle-aged women off of him every time he stepped onto the streets. But he just hums in agreement anyway, because he’d be a fool to turn down the golden opportunity to see Sousuke in tight workout clothes, sweaty and panting in exertion.

“I usually start at the east stretch of the ocean. Right where the teppanyaki place is. Do you know where? Is that too far off from your house?”

There’s silence as Sousuke thinks for a moment, and then a sound of recognition escapes him.

“Oh yeah yeah, where the new Haagen-Daazs is. Sure, I’ll be there. What time?”

“Eight-ish? Eight thirty maybe?”

“Sounds good to me.”

And then there’s silence. Now that they’ve pretty much planned and fixed the  _outing_  (Rin refuses to call it a date until either of them plainly acknowledge it as one), he feels a little awkward, doesn’t know what to say to fill the steadily lengthening silence.

Sousuke clears his throat.

“Rin. I don’t know if I was being too forward back then, but I’d really like to know you better. I’m looking forward to tomorrow.”

His voice is so genuine and his words equally eager, that Rin’s heart begins to thump wildly again. This guy is going to be the end of him, he just  _knows_. If he’s getting this worked up just hearing his voice on the line, what’s to say that he isn’t going to go into cardiac arrest tomorrow when he actually sees him in person.

“Me too, I’m looking forward to seeing you.” He breathes into the phone, his own voice warm and too-tender and this time he can  _hear_  the smile in Sousuke’s voice when he replies.

“That’s good. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Rin hears rustling, the muffled voice of someone addressing Sousuke, and then the distinctive sound of a car door opening. He must have reached his place already.

“Yeah, I’ll see you. Night.” He bites out hastily, not waiting for a reply before pushing at the end call button repeatedly. He feels like an idiot once he sees the call summary page pop up on his phone screen. He should’ve stayed on the line just a little longer to catch Sousuke’s reply. But it’s too late now. He tosses his phone onto the sheets beside him and then folds his arms under his head, staring up at the shoddily white-washed ceiling a little morosely.

When he feels the vibration of the phone just minutes later though, he jerks and fumbles around for it desperately. It’s caught somewhere in between the folds of his linen and he pulls himself upright and claws at the sheets frantically before his fingers finally brush across cool metal.

Rin pulls up the pop up that notifies him that he has one new message, eyes darting across the screen nervously. And then rolls onto his stomach and shoves his face into his clean-smelling pillow, kicking his legs up into the air a couple of times at the way his chest seizes.

Oh if Nagisa barges into the room and catches him in the act, he’d probably be teased mercilessly about this for a couple of months at least. He can’t bring himself to care though, and he rolls onto his back again and brings Sousuke’s hoodie to drape over his face before closing his eyes.

‘Goodnight and sweet dreams. I’ll be thinking about you.’ No smileys or those annoyingly cute emojis, just those words, plain and simple and sincere.

He’s already thinking about which jersey top he should wear tomorrow, and if he should wake up a little earlier than usual to wash his hair. When he drifts off to sleep surrounded by the smell of mint and the muffled noises of Rei and Nagisa’s squabbling in the living room, the room light is still on, but it’s muted by the thickness of the warm fabric over his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you can probably tell by now that Rei and Nagisa are my babies :cccc As always, excuse the sloppy writing, and I hope you weren't bored to death, what with all the Rin introspection.
> 
> Next time in SouRin hell: Rin and Sousuke go on their ridiculous jogging not-date and when they head into town for brekkie, they bump into familiar faces + obligatory drama when Rin finds out something about Sousuke that he'd rather not have known.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wants to tell him all that and more, but he can’t. So he just breathes in the cool, fresh air before lifting an eyebrow at Sousuke.
> 
> “So, are you going to keep talking, or do you wanna show me what you’re made of?”

Rin is floating. The darkness all around him should be eerie and discomfiting but instead it makes him feel weightless. There’re no worried eyes on him and no angry voices reeling him in for once and when he tries to speak, not a single sound escapes his mouth. This is a dream, he thinks. Not a nightmare. Not one of those he’d used to wake up from, face smeared with sweat and tears and chest a hollow pit of ache and nothingness.

Nothing is going to hurt him here. He’s beyond that now. He lets himself drift in the cool darkness, lets himself be free of all the turbulent emotions he’s so prone to feeling when he's conscious. It’s freeing.

When his eyes drift open, it’s bright, too bright, and he has to squint first, and then bring a hand up to shield his eyes. He’d left the room light on. He lifts a few fingers to his cheek in a practiced motion, feeling around tentatively. It’s dry and warm. He sighs and closes his eyes again.

This is the fifteenth consecutive night he’s slept without nightmares plaguing his subconscious mind. The fifteenth night he’s been able to wake up and go about his morning without retching into the toilet and angrily swiping at the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes, tears he hates, tears he hadn’t asked for.

He feels hopeful now though, like he’s transcending the violent, turbulent emotions of his past and like he’s starting afresh. His dreams are mostly of nothingness now, and Makoto would probably turn worried, gentle eyes to him if he came to know about them, but for Rin, the nothingness is as good a sign as any of progress.

When he opens his eyes again, the last memories of his dreams are fading into the back of his mind and wakefulness creeps up onto him. He yawns, and as he does, notices something warm and soft pressed to his chest; too small to be his blanket and too velvety to be his bed sheet. When he looks down and finds the blue hoodie draped over his torso, the events that’d transpired the night before flood his mind in an endless, delirious stream.

The entire incident seems almost far away now, and Rin turns to his side and curls around the blue material again, lifting a corner to his mouth and holding it there. Sure enough, it still smells like mint; a bit dulled from how Rin had probably rolled around with it all night, but there nonetheless, comforting and familiar.

He’s reluctant to part with it, knows he’s going to have to eventually, but decides that today’s not going to be that day. Then, his mind catches on the tail end of his thoughts, and he _remembers._ He’s going to be seeing Sousuke soon. The thought is enough to send his mind reeling and he sits up on his bed at breakneck speed, the blankets sliding down his body to pool in his lap.

It’s a almost a mantra in his head. He’s going to meet up with Sousuke today. It’s not a date. But it could be. He wants it to be. He leans forward to look at the drawn up blinds and at the soft light that’s just beginning to seep into the room.

Must be after six already, he thinks to himself, but definitely not more than seven thirty in the morning. He’s an early riser by nature, can count on one hand the number of times he’s woken after eight.

Nagisa is of the opinion that he’s a freak of nature and that human beings were not supposed to be up and about any time before nine (it makes Rin wonder about the fate of his morning classes because he’s seen Nagisa’s schedule before and they’re peppered generously with those) and he makes sure to let Rin know that every time he sleeps over and staggers blearily out of Rei’s room well past eleven and sometimes even twelve.

Rin has always been confounded by that aspect of him because he’s of the opinion that there are always things that needed to be done, and the best time to go about doing those things is in the morning, when all is quiet and his mind is comfortably wedged in the spectrum between calm and aware.

Sure, it’s good to have a lie-in occasionally; Rin does that sometimes on Wednesdays when he has classes only late in the afternoon, but doing that everyday? He can’t even imagine bailing on his morning runs and lying spineless on the bed like a sloth.

He stretches his arms high above his head and tugs at an elbow with his hand until the joints crack satisfyingly, and then he’s up and about, heading to the wardrobe to pick up a towel and then to the attached bathroom to brush his teeth. He makes a silly face in the mirror and then leans forward to examine himself more closely.

He lets out a relieved sigh around the foam and brush in his mouth when he sees that he looks a lot more like a human and less like a zombie than he had the week prior. The dark circles from burning the midnight oil one night too many have more or less faded and his complexion has brightened to passable standards. He thanks any benevolent gods that might be listening that he hadn’t bumped into Sousuke during his grocery run last week; he definitely would have been short a number and a hot date if that had been the case.

As he turns at the shower knob and turns his face up and into the slowly warming water, he’s pondering on whether or not to wash his hair. It’d get sweaty after the run anyway, but even as he considers that, he’s already reaching for the pink shampoo bottle and squeezing a good sized dollop of the liquid onto his palm.

 It smells like a bottled up Japanese spring and he’s sure that pretty much everyone has noticed that he’s constantly surrounded by the scent cherry blossoms; they just choose not to comment on it. Haru’s nose still twitches distastefully whenever he steps a little too close to him though, that little shit.

By the time he steps out of his shower, completely awake, and picks out a reasonably appealing and thick enough set of running clothes to brave the morning chill (he spends nearly ten minutes digging the ten or so sets of jersey tops and bottoms out of his closet, tossing them onto the bed and rifling through them desperately), the nerves are onto him. He dresses in front of the full length mirror fixed on one of the wardrobe doors, taking care to smooth the creases out of his top and then feeling a little silly because he was going for a run with the guy, for fuck’s sake, not having a candlelit dinner with him.

That doesn’t stop him from running a comb through his hair carefully instead of employing his usual method of just sticking his fingers into the strands and forcibly patting them down into some semblance of neatness. Then, he grabs a black hair tie from the drawer and fixes his hair into a ponytail, making sure to leave out a few strands to frame his face messily.

Rei would probably gape at the ridiculousness of him deliberately trying to mess up an otherwise neat look, would tell him it wasn’t beautiful at all and that it defeated the purpose of even tying one’s hair, but then again, Rei is the very last person he’d consult for fashion advice, that incorrigible hipster. Or maybe that honour would go to poor, poor Makoto. It’s a toss up, really.

When he grabs his phone and wallet and tucks them into his pockets, he’s ready to go and he opens the bedroom door before he steps back in, unable to resist giving himself a final once-over in the mirror.

“Fucking crazy is what I am.” He mutters to himself, because this was frankly ridiculous behaviour.

The smell and sound of bacon sizzling on the pan pervades the entire living area and his mouth waters. It must be Rei’s cheat day today, because he usually opts for whole wheat muffins and avocado with some scrambled eggs. When he peeks into the kitchen, he’s standing by the stove with a spatula in hand, clad in only a pair of casual lounge shorts.

Rin gives his shoulders an appreciative glance as he comes up behind him because why the hell _not_ , really. His swimming lessons with Rin and the extra time he’s been putting in at the gym is clearly paying off and Rin is just taking some time to appreciate the fruits of their shared labour.

He keeps his steps quiet until he can feel the heat of Rei’s bare back against his own chest.

“Hasn’t anyone told you that frying bacon without a shirt on is a bad, bad idea?” He pitches his voice low and sultry.

Rei jumps about three feet into the air and then fumbles to catch the spatula as it threatens to slip out of his grasp. When he turns to glare at Rin, his face is bright red and his expression vexed.

“Rin-san, you- you-“ He makes a sound of frustration. “Stop doing that!”

Rin just grins at him and Rei’s eyes take him in, widening in surprise.

“Is there any reason you’re dressed so nicely, Rin-san? I suspect it’s not to impress the old ladies on the beach this time.” He brings a few fingers up to flick at the stray red hairs wisping about Rin’s face and raises an eyebrow at him.

Rin looks down at himself. Was he being too obvious here? Sure he’d picked out the tightest top he’d owned (and pulled the zipper at the collar down as far it would go, for good measure) and black tights underneath the shorts that he’d deemed a little too short to wear to the gym in the uni campus, but the fact that even Rei had picked up on it? He sighs. And then gets his words out in an almost incoherent mumble.

“Going for a run. Sousuke is coming with.” Rei seems to have heard him perfectly well though and he smirks at Rin in that irritatingly smug fashion of his and turns back to the stove to flip the strips of bacon over.

“I see.” Is all he says, but the tone he uses implies a lot more than that.

“Stop it. It’s not a date or anything.” He shoves Rei into the counter a little in silent retribution.

“I didn’t say anything, Rin-san.” Rin can still hear the damnable smirk in his voice.

“Whatever.” He snaps, and then turns to jog out of the kitchen and into the living room, where he slides on his socks and track shoes quickly.

“I’ll be back at one or two tops.” He calls out, as he clicks the lock open and steps out of the apartment.

“Take your time, Rin-san, no hurry at all!” He hears, and Rei is such a little shit, jesus. He slams the gate closed and fervently hopes that he’ll burn at least three out of the five strips of bacon he’s handling.

He runs into the friendly old lady who bakes them too-sweet cookies now and then as he lopes down the stairs and stops to chat with her a little. It’s still early, and he has plenty of time to make his way in a leisurely manner to the beach.

When he reaches the common area out at the front, he can’t resist the temptation to bend down and scratch his favourite black kitten behind the ears. It’s curled up in its usual spot beside the row of potted plants and when he smooths at its ears, it mewls loudly, recognizing him immediately. And turns shiny blue-green eyes to him, clearly expecting its usual treat of milk and tuna.

“Sorry buddy, not today. Got somewhere to be.” He feels a little silly talking to a cat, but those eyes make it impossible not to get attached and he quite understands where Makoto is coming from now. Rin regrets snapping at him that day when he’d come running to their designated meeting spot half an hour late, claiming to have been waylaid by a throng of hungry kittens.

Mackerel (Haru had christened her when he’d dropped by their place a couple of months ago and had come across the little furball, and the name has stuck with him ever since, distasteful as it may be) just butts her head into his palm insistently and mewls in discontent when he pulls away and starts jogging towards the gates.

“Next time, promise!” He throws at her, and doesn’t look back just in case she’s turning those turquoise eyes at him pitifully.

He starts a slow pace, warming himself up for the main event later, and steps off the sidewalks and onto the roads to give way to the occasional families heading into town. It’s nippy outside so early in the morning, but he doesn’t really mind, just rubs his palms together every now and then to ward off the chill. He turns a few corners, enjoying the breeze on his face and in his hair and it isn’t long before the distinctive, clean smell of the ocean reaches his nose and the long stretch of sand comes into view.

He flips his wrist over to take a look at the dial of his wristwatch. 8:23. He still has a bit of time to spare. He wonders if he should go on ahead to their meeting place and wait there or hang around here, hidden from view, until it was 8:30 sharp, and then make his way there. He doesn’t want to come off as too eager on their very first _outing_.

But then, as he nears the stretch of palm trees, he sees a tall, broad figure, standing out almost comically in the midst of a crowd of old ladies bundled up in many layers of warm clothing (they religiously gather at this spot every morning for their morning practice of T’ai chi). Sousuke is at least two heads taller than the lot of them, maybe more, and Rin subconsciously moves a little closer to lean against the scratchy trunk of a nearby palm tree to just _watch_ him.

He has on a well fitting sweatshirt the colour of his eyes, the collar falling loose and wide around his neck, and plain black jogging shorts, and Rin feels a little ridiculous now at the amount of time he’d spent fretting over his own outfit.

Sousuke had probably thrown on the first thing he’d seen in his closet and just high tailed it out of his house and he still looks like an walking, talking advertisement for a high end sports brand or some shit like that. It’s pretty unfair when he really thinks about it.

He’s leaning down to catch what a particularly eager elderly lady is saying to him, and Rin’s eyes catch and fix onto the way the soft morning sunlight catches on his hair and somehow makes it shine almost blue. Rin wants to memorize the vision of him standing there, laughing and unselfconscious and absolutely beautiful.

Sousuke looks up in Rin’s direction that very moment though, and when he meets his eyes, his gaze is surprised only for a moment before he breaks out into a little pleased smile. He waves him over and Rin makes sure to regulate his pace and not run towards him in full speed like really wants to.

One of the old ladies, a tiny adorable thing with a prominent hunch and a face that’s a friendly-looking mess of wrinkles smiles at him when he nears and pats his arm gently.

“What a fine looking friend you have,” She tells Sousuke, and then turns to Rin. “You have such beautiful hair. I used to want hair that colour so badly. But I’m afraid it wouldn’t suit me much now.”

There’s a chorus of laughter as the group of ladies acknowledge the light-hearted jab at her own age, and Sousuke smiles along with them.

“She’s right.” He nods at Rin, eyes scanning over his messy, windblown fringe first and then taking in his ponytail appreciateively. “Your hair’s beautiful.”

Rin averts his eyes and tries not to fluster at that because the old lady is beaming at Sousuke now and there’s an outbreak of giggles from the crowd milling around them, and this time it’s almost conspirational.

The lady who’d addressed them positively beams at them both and brings up her hands to pat them on the arm again.

“Well gentlemen, thank you for gracing these lonely old ladies with your company. I’m sure you have better things planned for today than chatting with us though, so go on ahead! Have a good day.” She waves them off with fond eyes, and Rin nods and smiles back at the entire group.

Sousuke reaches out to lay a palm on the center of Rin’s back and guides him along the concrete pathway and Rin follows without protest as they cross the street and step onto the stretch of fine, ashy sand. They don’t speak until they’re only a couple of meters from the ocean and Rin can taste the salt on his tongue and feel his hair ruffling from the incoming breeze.

Sousuke stops and lets his hand drop. And then turns to face Rin. Rin seizes the opportunity to take in the sight of him from up close, all windblown hair and flushed cheeks from when he’d probably jogged here. He can see Sousuke’s chest outlined vaguely through the flimsy material of the jersey, and he follows it to its sleeve, where it suddenly tightens and clings to his impressive biceps in a way that should _really_ be illegal. He means to rip his gaze away, but his eyes drift of their own will up to the open collar of the top, where he can see the sharp definition of his collarbones peeking through and the thick, corded muscles of his neck; Rin can see his pulse thumping steadily in the hollow there. He wants to reach out and lay his fingers on it.

When Sousuke lifts a hand towards his face though, Rin’s eyes snap to his and his pulse starts to pick up, but he’s not looking back at him. Rin could have sworn that he was going to brush his fingers against his cheek, but then he just loops it around his neck and touches his ponytail gently.

“Your hair. It looks good like this.” His eyes lift to meet Rin’s own and he turns his face away quickly in what is becoming a worryingly staple course of action for him these days. He hopes the renewed flush in his cheeks can be passed off as one of exertion.

Rin bites out a thanks that comes out sounding strained and finds himself wishing he was capable of expressing himself better and doling out compliments, honest and easy, like Sousuke. He wants to tell Sousuke that his eyes are the exact shade of the shallow waters of the ocean behind them, illuminated by the morning sun (or maybe even more of an arresting hue) and that they’re shining so brightly that Rin can’t look away for a second.

He wants to tell him all that and more, but he can’t. So he just breathes in the cool, fresh air before lifting an eyebrow at Sousuke.

“So, are you gonna keep talking, or do you wanna show me what you’re made of?”

He starts jogging, setting an easy pace, and Sousuke just grins and lifts an eyebrow right back at him before hastening his step and walking briskly beside him. His strides are long and easy and match up to Rin’s jogging effortlessly and Sousuke shoots him a glance from the corner of his eye that’s almost smug. So that’s how it’s going to be then, Rin thinks, and picks up his slow jog into something a little quicker.

Sousuke breaks out into a jog too, but he’s still not sweating it, just keeping it light and easy. They continue the back and forth for a couple of moments, with Rin putting on a burst of speed and managing to push on ahead and then Sousuke just sliding up right beside him with those unfairly long strides of his. They glance at each other every minute or so.

The limbo breaks though, when _Sousuke_ lopes on ahead this time instead, and turns back to smirk at him.

“You really think you can keep up with me, huh?” His eyes are glinting competitively, in a way that’s almost cocky, and _fuck_ , Rin thinks that he likes this side of him almost as much as the one that’s all warm gazes and gentle touches. When he flexes his biceps (he _must_ have done that deliberately), Rin’s eyes are drawn to the motion, and Sousuke grins again, satisfied.

His face shows no outward signs of exertion, and Rin can tell that he’s really getting into his element now, that this is his playground. Sousuke’s a sportsman.

(There’s a twinge in Rin’s heart as that thought flits through his mind because he can’t call himself that anymore, has no right to, he’s given up on the last wisps of that dream from years ago.)

But Rin still keeps himself fit, and he’s not about to give even an inch to Sousuke as much as he likes him. He blows errant strands of hair away from his face and pushes himself harder, until he’s in line with Sousuke again.

“Watch me.” He tells him, completely serious, and then takes off, running like his life depends on it. He hears Sousuke’s laugh trail off in the wind and then the rustling of sand as he closes the gap again.

It’s exhilarating. A feeling he’s not experienced in months or even years, something he’s almost forgotten. It feels almost like it does when he’s sluicing his arms through the water and gliding forward, glancing to the side to check if the person in the lane next to him is catching up. Almost as fulfilling, _almost._

The wind is loud in his ears now and the scenery is a blur when he chances a glance to the right, and they must be going incredibly fast because he vaguely registers a toddler playing by the shallow waters point the both of them out to his equally surprised mother and make a wondering sound.

He has no idea how long they run; just that it’s the hardest he’s pushed himself and the most alive he’s felt in ages. The beads of sweat that form rapidly at his hairline and drip down to the bridge of his nose are swept away and dried just as quickly by the cool, biting wind and his jersey is fluttering madly.

Sousuke is ahead of him by a couple of feet now, and Rin had known that the guy was at peak fitness (if he’s on the team, he must be, because he knows from the talk floating around that the cut-off for making it into their university team is ridiculously high), but he marvels at how he doesn’t show any visible sign of exertion even though they must have covered at least 3 kilometres by now, and at a brutal pace at that.

His own hamstrings are starting to feel the strain and his face is hot (almost burning) when he brings a couple of fingers up to brush against it. Not to mention, his heart is pounding at a relentless pace.

He still runs.

By the time concrete buildings come into view, indicating the end of the east stretch, there’s an embarrassingly wide gap between him and Sousuke and Rin just can’t have that. It’d be a blow to his pride, really, and it doesn’t matter that Sousuke might be the most beautiful guy Rin’s laid his eyes on and that he makes Rin question his sanity constantly, because when it comes to this? He’s going to win, and he’s going to savour the look on that gorgeous face as he does it.

“Almost here.” He hears Sousuke call out from in front, voice small over the wind roaring in his ears, and Rin takes the cue to rub at his aching quads and push himself forward just a little more, closing the gap between them, slowly, steadily. Luckily for him, Sousuke seems to have gotten a tad bit complacent because he doesn’t pick up on it, just continues at the pace he’s on.

There’s a bank of rocks a few hundred or so meters ahead with a big blue sign announcing the end of the stretch and Rin thinks that he can make it, will make it, if he pushes himself to the brink of exhaustion and utilizes the element of surprise. It’s not exactly playing fair, but he’ll take what he can get.

With just a hundred meters ahead now, he rushes forward at breakneck speed, panting like a dog in heat, and mentally fist pumping as he finally crosses Sousuke and goes on ahead with just under fifty metres to spare. He’s done it.

What he hadn’t expected though, was for Sousuke’s amused laughter to echo in his left ear, and before he can even turn his head to look, Sousuke easily breaks past him again, and Rin can tell that this isn’t even him at his fastest. He’s trying just hard enough to pass him, and that’s it.

“Fuck.” He mutters to himself between violent pants, even as his eyes widen in acknowledgement of his prowess. If he was like this on land, Rin wonders not a little excitedly, how he’d be where he felt most at home at: the water.

Sousuke would be terrifying, he thinks, destroying his competition mercilessly and establishing himself in a league of his own if he ever put his mind to it. He wants to see that sight for himself so badly, wants to feel the thrill of keeping pace with those relentless, powerful strokes. He’s felt it for himself once with Haru, and he’s sure that it’d be just as amazing an experience, if not better, with Sousuke.

He’s still a little sour about how easily Sousuke has beaten him out here though, and with the last tiny stretch ahead, he puts on a bit more speed and then reaches out a hand to grab wildly at a corner of Sousuke’s green jersey. His fingers catch and he gives a firm tug.

Rin is already laughing as he uses the maneuver to pull him back and then lope in front of him, but Sousuke somehow seems to have been expecting this very thing and he loops a feverishly warm and firm arm around his waist from behind and tugs him back into his body. Rin hears his responding huffs of laughter in his ear, gleeful and retaliatory and he tries to squirm out of the grasp, but really, he’s laughing a bit too hard for it to actually work.

When Rin’s foot catches on a stray can littered on the sand, the both of them go down in a sweaty, giggling heap and Rin immediately reaches out with a few fingers to brush against the corner of the bank of rocks and then pumps his fist.

“I win,” He announces, and then breaks into another bout of laughter.

Sousuke digs his elbow lightly into Rin’s back from where he’s half draped over him in reply.

“You little cheat.” He tells him and there’re grains of sand worming their way into _very_ uncomfortable places and he’s short of breath partly because of exertion from the run but mostly because Sousuke’s heavy weight is pressing into his torso. He barely notices.

Sousuke’s chest is warm and damp against the stretch of his back and he can feel droplets of sweat sliding off his chin to fall on Rin’s jersey top. It should be disgusting, but Rin is only focused on the way Sousuke is deliberately leaning in to brush against Rin’s surprisingly dry ponytail with his nose. Their laughter fades out, and Rin is starting to notice every little thing now.

Like how his top has ridden up and one of Sousuke’s big, warm palms are resting at his hip, where the waistband of his shorts give way to bare, dry skin. His thumbs brush up against the skin there every time he heaves a breath, and his touch is _electric_ , just like how it’d been the night before at the grocery store.

 Rin can’t seem to get enough of it. He shifts deliberately just to feel Sousuke’s fingers slide up his skin just a little more.

“Oi, get a room ya dirty little punks! This is a fucking public area! For god’s sake, can’t go anywhere without horny teenagers.” A loud, disgusted voice snaps Rin out of his daze, and Sousuke is sliding up and off of him the very next second.

When he takes Sousuke’s proffered hand and pulls himself up, brushing sand off his arms and clothes in a cursory motion, he spots the resident crabby old man that everyone goes out of their way to avoid, sitting by the ledge and aiming a dirty look at them.

Rin usually makes sure not to meet his gaze every morning when he runs past this stretch because he’s heard from Makoto and a couple of his other classmates that the man had a tendency to go off at people who made the mistake of doing so, and that the resulting confrontations were usually very unpleasant.

Sousuke nudges him forward and toward the steps up to the road, and Rin starts walking. But then stops in his step and turns around. And meets the scowling, perpetually angry face before deliberately bringing up his hand and flipping the bird at him, quick and dirty.

 Sousuke snorts in uncontrollable laughter behind him and when the man’s eyes narrow in fury and he makes as if to get off the ledge and come after them, Rin just latches onto his arm and pulls him along as he bounds up the stairs and onto the street, angry hollering and _very_ creative curses (Rin thinks he catches something about them being rotten deer carcasses) following them the entire way.

Once they’re midway down the street, they look behind them to check if the man is on their trail. He isn’t. The street is empty save for them and a young couple out for a walk, pushing a stroller. When they turn to look at each other, they burst out into laughter all over again, and Rin bends over in half, out of breath from the continuous bouts of laughter and the running.

The man is looking at them very strangely right now, but the lady with the pretty eyes just smiles at them amusedly and shakes her head. She must have been a student not too long ago, Rin thinks.

“Rin, how’re you going to run past here again?” Sousuke asks him, after he takes a deep breath to quell the laughter.

Rin shrugs, because really, he hasn’t thought that far ahead. Sousuke laughs again, and wags a finger at him admonishingly and then snatches it back when Rin leans forward and snaps at it.

They’re quiet after that, as they walk along the stretch of road, the sweat on their faces cooling and drying. It’s a comfortable silence. Sousuke is walking close enough to him to be a little more than friendly, and his little finger brushes Rin’s own every time his arms swing back and forth.

Rin turns his face away because this isn’t a Nicholas Sparks novel and he most definitely is _not_ going to hook his pinky with Sousuke’s own.

With the sweat having cooled on his chest and face, it’s starting to get chilly, and Sousuke tilts his head in his direction when Rin brings up his arms to cross over his chest and rubs at his upper arms with equally cold hands.

“Breakfast? There’s a place ahead that serves some great pancakes. And they’ve got a mean scramble too, if that’s more to your taste.”

Rin smiles and nods and they amble down the road until it reaches the fork, and then take a right into the one that leads into town. They pass a row of eateries that are just starting to set up shop and numerous closed convenience stores and Sousuke waves at a middle aged man in an apron who’s dragging chairs and tables out onto the veranda of a small café. Rin watches curiously as the man looks up at them, smiles and returns the wave.

The streets are quiet, so different from how they’ll be in just a couple of hours; there’re no excitable children zigzagging through the walkways and the place is noticeably devoid of college students in too-fancy clothes with coffees in hand. Rin thinks he could get used to this.

He bumps his shoulder against Sousuke’s gently in a content little motion. And smiles when he feels the answering nudge.

His eyes are drawn to the little coffee shop that he’s grown so fond of over the past year or so. It’s nothing like the Starbucks just a little further down the road: for one, their menu is a lot less extensive, and their prices much more affordable. More importantly, Rin adores the noticeable little twists they put on otherwise regular drinks. Lemon, Cinnamon, Star Anise, he’s tried every single thing on the limited menu, and he can safely say that all of them taste absolutely amazing.

The store’s heating is a little wonky, and the interior worn down, but Rin doesn’t mind. The couple running it look like they’ve put their heart and soul into the little place and Rin is more than willing to escape here now and then after classes for a warm cup of coffee and enjoy the blessed silence.

Sousuke notices the trajectory of his gaze.

“Good place,” He nods to Rin. “I love that one coffee with the bits of honeycomb in it.”

When Rin smiles and nods back, he stops and turns to face him.

“How about I grab two cups for us and then we can head on over to the pancake place? Everything else there is great, but the coffee is a little..” He makes a funny face.

Rin smiles and nods.

“Anything in particular you want?”

“Surprise me.” He tells him, and when Sousuke nods and smiles at him a little suggestively, Rin’s not sure why, but his cheeks heat up.

By the time he goes to fish his wallet out of his pocket though, he’s already jogging across the street, and just waves Rin’s protests off.

“It’s just a coffee, don’t worry about it.” He calls out, but Rin pulls out a few bills from his wallet anyway, set on shoving them into Sousuke’s wallet once he’s back. He’s always felt vaguely uncomfortable having someone pay for him but Gou feels the same way as him he knows, and he chalks it up to the way their Mum has brought them up: she’d reminded both of them over and over since they’d started school on the importance of returning anything they’d borrowed and how they shouldn’t accept favours unless they felt like they really needed them.

It’s served as excellent life advice. Rin doesn’t owe anyone shit, and whoever he’s surrounded himself with now, they’re there because Rin genuinely enjoys their company.

Speak of the devil, he thinks when he hears someone call out his name from a way away.

His head snaps up because there’s no way that could be who he thinks it is. What were the chances that he’d run into him at nine on a Saturday morning in town, of all places. Them, he corrects himself, when he spots two figures strolling towards him, each with a paper cup and bag in hand.

“Rin!” Makoto calls out again and waves at him, as he nears with Haru in tow.

“Makoto, Haru.” He waves them over and notices they’re in sports attire too (as expected, Makoto has matched a top that’s a hideous shade of green to sky blue shorts; Rin’s eyes are stinging). He must have started the morning jogs that he’d been planning from a few weeks ago. And dragged a reluctant Haru along with him too, by the looks of it. Rin is honestly surprised he was able to manage that – until he spots the trajectory of Haru’s sparkling gaze.

Of course. Haru would be game as long as wherever they were heading had a large enough body of water for him to swim in. His gaze dips to the waistband of Haru’s jogging shorts automatically and _there_ it was. His jammers are peeking through quite predictably. He snorts disgustedly.

“Out on your run too, Rin? We picked up some bread just now, but let’s go get breakfast together if you haven’t eaten!” Makoto asks, gaze cheerful as ever, and Rin’s fingers twitch nervously because there was no way he could avoid introducing them to Sousuke now. He doesn’t mind, not really, but he worries if Sousuke would be put off about meeting his friends on their very first da- no, outing, Rin reminds himself.

Haru takes a tiny bite out of the fluffy bun he’s holding (Rin would bet his lifetime’s savings on the fact that the filling is mackerel or some variety of fish) and takes in what he’s wearing with more curiosity than usual. He doesn’t say anything though.

“Yeah, I am, I am.” He tells them, and then pauses before starting again a little nervously. “Hey, listen-“

But Haru’s eyes shift to something, or _someone_ behind Rin, and they narrow. Rin sighs. Too late for that then.

He waits till Sousuke comes up beside him and then flashes a little private smile at him. Sousuke meets his gaze with a warm one of his own and hands him a warm styrofoam cup along with a napkin. The steam rising from the concoction smells positively divine and he bumps his shoulder against Sousuke’s again and thanks him a little shyly.

When he turns back to his friends, Makoto is watching them with keen, curious eyes, but Haru’s gaze is positively frosty when he directs it towards Sousuke. Rin startles a little and is about to say something, when:

“Yamazaki.” Haru’s voice is as cold as his eyes are.

Rin turns towards Sousuke, surprised, but the expression on Sousuke’s face right now isn’t looking too friendly either.

“Nanase.” He nods jerkily once at Haru, and then spares a little strained smile for Makoto. Makoto looks between them confusedly for a few seconds before something registers in his eyes and his mouth gapes open.

“Yamazaki… Sousuke?” He asks in a tentative voice, and both Haru and Sousuke nod at the same time. Makoto’s eyes shift to Rin almost immediately, and he looks worried now.

“Wait. I think I’m missing something.” Rin gets out, more than a little confused and steadily getting irritated by the way Haru isn’t easing up on the glare, and how Makoto’s eyes are concernedly flitting between himself and Sousuke.

“You guys – know each other?”

Sousuke nods a little reluctantly.

“Nanase and I are.. acquainted. We swam at the same meet once.” Haru snorts inelegantly at that, and Sousuke’s eyebrows draw down sharply.

Makoto’s little glances are seriously beginning to piss him off and he snaps a brusque “What?” at him.

Makoto tries to smile, but it comes out strained and unnatural.

“Nothing, nothing. So you and Yamazaki-kun are out. Together.” There’s a tiny emphasis on the last word and Rin has had about enough of this entire thing.

He slides his free hand down between them and blindly reaches out until he finds Sousuke’s own. Then entwines his fingers with the long, fine-boned ones and arches an eyebrow at Haru first, and then Makoto. If Sousuke is surprised, he shows no outward sign of it, just squeezes his hand once and adjusts his fingers to fit in the spaces between Rin’s own.

“Yes, we're out. Together." He repeats, a challenging note creeping into his voice.

Haru’s expression sours. He’s looking at him as if Rin is missing something. Something important. Come to think of it, Makoto has an almost identical expression on his face.

“Well, what is it? Spit it out already, if you’ve got something to say.” He leans a little more into the warmth of Sousuke’s side.

“Yamazaki holds the record for 100 and 200m butterfly.” Haru explains. Rin isn’t surprised really, he’d figured Sousuke was a crazy-good swimmer already. So he just arches an expectant eyebrow at Haru and motions for him to continue.

“Uh huh?”

“For the 16 and under category.”

Rin musn’t have heard that right. He musn’t have. Or maybe Haru’s picked now of all times, to crack one of those terribly deadpan jokes of his.

He looks at Sousuke first, and then turns his glance back to Haru almost wildly.

“What? What did you say?” He asks Haru, voice small and feeble.

“I said he holds the recor-“

Rin cuts him off with a snarl.

“I _know_ , but what did you say after that?”

Sousuke grips his hand tightly and oh _no, no_ , _no_ , this can’t be happening. It just can’t be. He looks up at Sousuke tentatively, with his fringe falling into his eyes.

Sousuke’s beautiful blue eyes are apologetic, and no, that’s the last thing he wants to see reflected in those eyes: he wants them to sparkle the way they do when he’s looking at Rin like he’s the best thing Sousuke’s laid his eyes on, wants them to be filled with laughter like they were just moments ago.

He shakes his head at him.

“This is a joke.” Rin tells Sousuke, tells himself - but no one’s laughing yet. He feels like he’s under the microscope, with three pairs of eyes looking at him with various degrees of apology and weariness and pity, fucking _pity_. He doesn’t need anyone’s pity.

“Stop looking at me like that, Makoto.” He bites out from between gritted teeth and then turns back to Sousuke. He pulls his hand back from where it’s entwined with Sousuke’s, and he already misses the comforting warmth of his long fingers pressed against his own: clearly there isn't a limit to how pathetic and needy he could get.

“So it’s true, huh.” He laughs, but there's not a trace of amusement in the sound. “How old are you, really?”

“16. Gonna be 17 soon.” Sousuke’s voice is even and slow, and he’s looking at Rin like he’s a cornered animal that might bolt at any moment.

“16.” He repeats. He disregards the latter half of his sentence. He’s 16. A high schooler. Momotarou from the store last night had probably been his _classmate_. Rin had been fantasizing about building a dream life with a fucking high schooler. And more horrifyingly, he'd been wondering how those shoulders would have felt under his nails. He feels vaguely dirty even thinking about it now.

He shakes his head again, because humiliation is building up in him now, humiliation - not anger. The way even _Haru_ is looking at him grates at his nerves and makes him feel self-conscious. His blue eyes are warm and shiny, and Rin used to love the way they'd looked at him, but now, that same gaze just makes him feel irritated and vaguely empty.

“Rin-" Sousuke starts, and he's still looking at Rin like he's something beautiful and precious, but everything's different now, so different.

He cuts him off with a brusque question of his own.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks, eyebrows lowered and _great,_ his eyes are beginning to sting now. He doesn’t know why, because he’s only known the guy for one day but he likes him so much, and everything’s going terribly wrong now.

Sousuke opens his mouth to answer, but then wisely decides against it. When he brings the back of his hand to tentatively brush over Rin’s cheek, Rin lets the touch linger for a few seconds before slapping it away roughly (it goes away wet).

“Don’t.” He says, voice wobbly. And then takes a deep breath to collect himself.

“Okay.” He smiles through the tears blurring his vision, looking at Haru and Makoto first, and then Sousuke, careful to avoid their eyes. “Okay. I’m just- I’m just gonna go now.”

Rin turns on his heel before they can see his face crumple and starts walking briskly first, before picking up his pace to a jog and then finally to a steady run.

The scalding hot coffee in the cup he's holding sloshes and spills over onto his fingers as he does, but he barely feels the pain. He just tosses it into the trash can that he passes by and continues, swiping at his eyes stubbornly. 

No one calls after him. He’s grateful at least for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the sloppiness of this chapter, promise I'll do better in the next one. RL has been getting in the way :ccc 
> 
> next chapter: rin's sad and needy and possibly makes bad decisions, rei is somewhat affected by these bad decisions (wink wonk), sousuke broods, and haru is conflicted. makoto and nagisa form the cheer up squad.
> 
> ETA: like Joanna pointed out, 16 is /not/ the age of a final year high schooler, I kinda mixed it up with the school system where I live, i'm so sorry. So just confirming the ages: Rin is gonna be 20, and Sousuke will be turning 17 soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin looks down, suddenly self-conscious, because he can feel bits of snot on his cheeks and he just knows he must look like one of those blow-up dolls they sold in stores during Halloween season, with the red-rimmed eyes and disheveled hair to match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: there is a brief scene with rin and a certain someone in this one (i think it'll be pretty obvious who the someone is once the chapter begins), but it's not going to have any impact on the rest of the chapters and nothing really happens, if you're worried about that
> 
> you can skip the first quarter or so though, if you think it's gonna make you uncomfortable.

Rin isn’t entirely sure how he ends up outside the rust-red iron gates of his apartment complex, but here he is anyway, bent over double and panting, his face wet with sweat and what is more than likely, tears. He must look a sight, he thinks, hair wet and limp, and snot decorating his features attractively. He doesn’t even want to find out what sort of expression he’s wearing – he’s been tested enough for one day. He checks the time on his watch: it’s only eleven thirty. One _morning_ , scratch that.

A ragtag group of kids playing by the makeshift sandbox in the yard give him curious looks as he pulls the gate open and strides in, but he just tucks his chin into his chest and lets his hair fall in a curtain over his bloodshot eyes. He doesn’t want to see their little judgmental eyes on him, and he knows he’s being unfair now, knows they’re just inquisitive kids and that he might have called out a friendly greeting to them any other time, but the stubborn ache in his chest is almost translating over to the physical and the humiliation and anger from before is festering within him rapidly.

He vaguely remembers scenery passing by in a blur as he’d run and run – away from Makoto and Haru and _Sousuke_ (just the thought of those eyes, so wide and apologetic and _unfair, because he had no right to look that way after what he’d just pulled,_ makes his fists clench in humiliation). Remembers the fingers of his right hand smarting from the hot coffee that’d splashed on them, but almost everything had been overshadowed by the terrible, yawning hole in his chest.

He tells himself that logically, this shouldn’t be a big deal at all. So he’d gotten screwed over by a high schooler. He’d probably seen thought it’d be funny to string gullible, eager Rin along. Had probably taken one look at Rin's besotted expression in the store and thought yeah, this was a guy whom he could have a little bit of fun with.

He takes a deep breath as he drags foot after foot onto each step and slowly makes his way up the stairs. When the young, newly-wedded couple living next door brush past him and call out a cheerful ‘Good Morning’ in unison, Rin just barely manages to rasp a greeting in response. He uses the excuse of tucking his hair behind an ear to subtly hide his wet face and red nose from view and bounds up the last couple of stairs, hoping that they won't ask any more questions. They don’t.

He’s fine, he tells himself, he’s perfectly alright. This has just been a bad morning. He’ll forget all about the past 24 hours and move on with life: he’ll put on The Notebook and let Rei hog three quarters of the couch and then make some pasta salad for dinner and slide into bed having forgotten about the entire debacle.

That’s how it’s going to be, he thinks. And then his phone starts ringing, the vibration jarring him even through the pocket of his shorts. His mouth twitches sardonically because the very melody that he’d been anxiously waiting to hear last night just makes him irrationally angry and upset now. He lets it ring five times before he shoves a hand into his pocket and pushes at the power button violently. The ensuing silence is a relief.

 But he’s standing in front of the shoddy gate of his apartment now and his hands are trembling as they fumble once, twice and then finally fish out the house keys from his pocket. As he’s slipping the key into the padlock, something wet lands on his forearm, and it can’t be because hadn’t he already decided that he wasn’t going to do this?

It doesn’t seem to matter what he thinks, because the drop becomes two drops and then a steady stream, and even as he squeezes his eyes shut almost to the point of pain, the tears stubbornly escape from both corners of his eyes. They’re salty on his tongue, and he clutches at his jersey top with shaking fingers, furious at himself for being so affected by someone whom in all likeliness, had just thought him another fool who’d been drawn in by those unfairly beautiful eyes.

The wooden door of the apartment swings open at the worst possible moment, when Rin is hunched in on himself, his forearm soaked with tears and a sob hitching in his throat.

“You’re back earl-“ Rei’s surprised voice stutters and halts.

Rin hears the creak of the gate being opened and then gentle hands are rubbing at his chilled shoulders comfortingly. When Rin leans into the warm, welcome touch, Rei just pulls him forward and into the apartment, letting go of him briefly to shut the door behind them.

Objectively, he knows that Rei is not the best person to turn to for comfort, that he’s awkward and stilted around the topic of feelings and that he freezes up when he has someone turning on the waterworks in front of him. Which is why he’s shocked into compliance when those hands come up to pry his own away from where they’re rubbing at his eyes frantically. Warm fingers brush away the now-sticky strands of hair plastered to his face and tilt his chin up.

 “Rin-san...” The soft murmur is enough.

 Enough for Rin to step forward and into the circle of his arms without considering how uncomfortable the entire thing might be for Rei (Rei who’s stiff and unresponsive when Makoto or Gou hug him, Rei who avoids brushing shoulders with his classmates and sometimes even his friends).

Rei’s entire form stiffens, as he’d expected, and Rin’s eyes widen in further humiliation. _Of course._ The tears slip out of his burning eyes steadily. Of course Rei wouldn’t be comfortable with needy, pathetic behaviour like this. He’s just moving to pull himself away and make a run for it to his room when Rei’s arms tentatively fold around him, one of his palms coming to rest on his lower back, and the other at the top-most knob of his spine.

Rin closes his eyes in relief and presses his face into to the crook of Rei’s neck and shoulder, letting his tears wet the bare skin there shamelessly. Rei just lets him, and the hand by his neck moves up to pat at his hair a little awkwardly, matted with sweat and disgusting as it is.

Rin’s thoughts go in frantic, destructive circles: How would he ever be able to face his friends again, after he’d flaunted his entanglement with a fucking high-school kid in front of them? He’d seen the vaguely disturbed look in Makoto’s eyes and a treacherous little voice in his head whispers that Makoto is probably horrified at how low Rin had sunk, chasing after sixteen year olds.

He shakes his head, because he hadn’t known, he hadn’t known. And Haru. He should probably be thankful to Haru for breaking the charade and saving Rin from what would have surely been heartbreak later on, but he can’t find in himself even a shred of gratitude to spare.

Haru hadn’t said what he’d said to protect Rin, he knows, he’d done that to get at Sousuke, to unsettle him. He doesn’t know what the issue between them is, and he honestly can’t bring himself to care either. He just brings his hands to clutch at Rei’s warm back and waits until his tears dry out, stubbornly refusing to think about treacherous blue eyes or that smiling mouth or anything at all.

When the last of his sniffles come and go, Rei shifts and moves as if to step backward. Rin makes a soft sound of protest, tightening his grip on his back and clutching at him in an embarrassingly needy gesture. He’s not willing to let go of the warm, comforting presence so quickly. Especially not now that he feels numb and utterly drained of energy.

“Rin-san..” Rei’s voice is barely a mumble in his ear and he presses his nose and mouth stubbornly into Rei’s neck to halt the flow of words. There’s a tiny intake of breath and then Rei’s hands are on his shoulders again, moving him back until their faces are a couple of inches apart. 

Rin looks down, suddenly self-conscious, because he can feel bits of snot on his cheeks and he just knows he must look like one of those blow-up dolls they sold in stores during Halloween season, with the red-rimmed eyes and disheveled hair to match. He wipes at his face with the back of his hand and clears his throat.

Rei’s hands leave his shoulders, and he’s across the room now, snatching a wad of tissues from the pack on the coffee table. When he reaches Rin, he steps in close and wipes at his face gently with the corner of a tissue. When he brings the wadded up bunch up to his nose and pinches at it, Rin takes the cue to blow into it.

Rei tosses the wad into the waste paper basket and turns back to Rin. He smells freshly showered and the scent of lavender is wafting from him. It’s only then that he realizes that he must have been sweaty and disgusting and a snotty mess on top of all that, and that it must have all gotten onto Rei.

“Sorry.” He mumbles and Rei just shakes his head at him and smiles. His eyes are worried and soft when he fixes them on Rin’s own.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Rin-san.” He adjusts his glasses a little awkwardly, taking in Rin’s downturned and empty eyes.

“Do you want to change out of your clothes, Rin-san?” He asks. “You must be getting chilly.”

Rin nods, because he really is cold, both on the inside and outside and he’s not sure if a warm shower will fix the latter but he’s pretty sure that it’ll be a relief anyway. Rei nods right back at him and trails behind him as Rin opens the door to his room and lets himself in. He hovers at the entrance to his room, twisting his hands together awkwardly.

Rin sighs and tugs at his arm lightly to pull him inside and then shuts the door behind them. He lets go and gestures to his made-up bed.

“You can sit. I’ll be out in a few minutes.” Rei looks around his room, wide eyes catching first on his skateboard and then on the panels of photographs and Polarax stickers by the noticeboard hanging above his desk. Rin realizes the exact moment he spots his own face in the cluster of glossy photos, because he lets out a little involuntary sound of surprise and then turns to smile at Rin wonderingly.

Rin’s cheeks burn but he doesn’t look back at him from where he’s fishing sweatpants and a tank top from his closet, just rubs at his now-dry face one last time and steps into the bathroom, sliding the door shut behind him.

The hot water feels positively divine beating down on his tense shoulders and Rin hangs his head and closes his eyes for a few minutes, resolving to think of nothing at all, but inevitably coming back to thoughts of Sousuke and his deceitful words and his unfairly attractive smile and _no_ , he really needs to stop. He knows now how old the guy, the _kid_ really is, and there is no way Rin is going to entertain thoughts of a high school kid while in the shower; just the idea of it makes him shudder uneasily.

Some of the humiliation and fury from before wears off and washes away along with the grime and sweat and Rin watches, mesmerized, as the murky water swirls down the drain. Maybe Sousuke hadn’t known that Rin was a uni student? No, that wasn’t likely at all. The convenience store he works at is frequented mostly by uni students and Sousuke must have at least suspected that Rin was one.

And more significantly, when Haru had broken the unwanted news to him, he’d barely looked surprised at all; mostly just contrite. He must’ve known all along. Then why? In the wake of the sudden, intense humiliation, he’d just assumed that Sousuke had been taking him for a ride;  that he’d been playing Rin for a fool. But now, he wonders.

As he lathers the bodyfoam on his torso, he recalls the way Sousuke had looked genuinely nervous around him at times, the way he’d blushed when Rin had leaned in too close, and mostly, the warm little glint in his eyes whenever he’d turned them on Rin. Maybe..

He shakes his head violently, dispelling the traitorous (hopeful) thoughts whirring  about in his head and sending droplets of water flying everywhere. And then scrubs the shampoo into his scalp with brutal efficiency, scraping his nails over the sensitive skin until pained tears spring into his eyes.

When he steps out of the shower, with wet patches on his tank top and sweats from where he’d neglected to dry himself off, he finds Rei sitting ramrod straight on the edge of his bed, perusing the photo frame (the one from six years ago with Rin, Gou and their Mum in Disneyland) in his hand. He startles when Rin steps into the room, and makes an awkward jilted motion as if to hide the frame, but then decides better and just scans Rin from head to toe.

Whatever he’d been looking for, he must have found, because he nods approvingly.

“You look better, Rin-san.”

Rin is too drained to reply. He just pulls the wet towel from his shoulder and tosses it into the laundry hamper before flinging himself onto the bed, just barely avoiding sending Rei off the edge.

Rei yelps and rights himself, glaring a little at him in indignation, but he shifts forward on the bed to look at Rin better where he’s curled up on his side.

When Rin doesn’t say anything, just looks up through weary, half-lidded eyes, he scratches at his brow awkwardly.

“Rin-san.. Do you want to talk about it?” His voice gives away his discomfort at broaching the topic, but Rin senses a steely hint of determination underneath.

He shakes his head at him and then shifts himself up into a cross-legged seating position beside Rei. He’s not up to talking yet. He’s afraid that bringing up the issue would just break the floodgates open again, and he’d go back to the sniveling, over-emotional mess he’d been just minutes ago.

Instead, he just looks at Rei: takes in his uncharacteristically messy hair, the way his glasses are a little wonky where they rest on the bridge of his nose, and then his bare arms, corded with heavy muscle from the reps that Rin has had him doing for the past few months.

Rei and him are far too different personality-wise to ever be as close as say, he and Makoto or Rei himself and Nagisa are, but Rin wishes that he’d met him before. Wishes he’d have felt with Rei what he’s feeling (felt) with Sousuke. Everything would have been that much easier. The friction between them is strong, but their regular swimming and gym sessions and occasional shopping trips have proven that they can indeed get along well when they want to.

Rei’s eyes widen when Rin tilts his head to rest on his shoulder, and he freezes up again.

“Rin..san?” His voice is nervous and cracks a little on his name. If Rin hadn’t been caught up in the repercussions of his bad decisions, he would’ve teased Rei mercilessly.

As it is now, Rin just makes a tiny sound of agreement and rests his chin on the sharpest point of Rei’s shoulder to look him in the eyes. Their faces are close.

Rei’s gaze is flitting wildly between Rin’s left and right eye now, and Rin can see the jerky bob of his adam’s apple as he swallows. He leans forward and into Rei’s space a little more. Rei stills, and stops breathing entirely. He doesn’t move away.

Rin’s breath falls onto his parted mouth and when Rei’s fingers come up to brush against his damp, bare arm, he tilts his head forward just the slightest bit and brushes their lips together tentatively. Then presses in harder.

Rei’s motionless. Rin’s just about to give up and flop backward onto the bed again, when Rei shifts forward just the tiniest bit and cups his jaw, sliding his soft lips against his own in a tiny, smooth motion.

When Rin sighs into the comforting, warm point of contact though, Rei’s eyes, which had begun to droop closed, snap wide open again.

“Rin!” He yelps, and shuffles backward onto the bed (Rin knows how flustered he really must be if he’d omitted the honourific in his name), hands scrabbling on the bed sheets and face pinkening rapidly by the second.

Rin just closes his eyes and shakes his head, congratulating himself on yet another bad decision made.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He really shouldn’t have. He feels like an absolutely shitty friend now, both to Rei and Nagisa. What would Nagisa think, he wonders, if he finds out that while he’d been playing trusted friend and loyal advisor to Rin, Rin had in turn been trying to make a move on his boyfriend behind his back.

 It’s not only a huge breach of trust on his part, it’s just plainly unacceptable behaviour, and self-loathing pools up within him.

He knows that if Rei hadn’t pulled back, he would have just taken the inch and gone a mile with it, and he’ll be damned if that isn’t an indication of how low Rin has truly sunk. When the upset tears prick his eyes again and threaten to slip out, Rei’s expression softens and he tentatively inches forward on the bed towards Rin.

“Rin-san.. You know we can’t do that. You don’t even really want to.” He reasons in an irritatingly level tone of voice. “You’re just upset and need a friend.”

Rin nods at him dolefully, because that’s all he can do.

Rei looks like he wants to say something. But then he flushes red and avoids his eyes. His mouth opens. Then closes. Then opens again.

“Y-you must know that you’re uh-“ He gestures to Rin’s hair first, dripping wet and draped over his face unattractively, and then points in the general area of his face. “That uh, you’re very attractive. But I’m afraid I’m not the one you should be turning to for _that_.” He gesticulates a little frantically with his hands, probably in reference to the kiss.

The sheer discomfort on Rei’s face tears a reluctant little laugh from Rin’s throat; the first in what seems like a long, long time: to Rin, that is. He can’t believe he’d just tried to kiss _Rei_. He must be in a worse state than he’d initially thought himself to be in and he’s never going to let himself live this down for at least the next few months.

Rei relaxes a little at the sound of his laughter, short and cut-off as it had been, and he smiles back tentatively at him. For once, he doesn’t seem to have minded that the joke had been at his expense, and Rin feels a rush of affection well up within him for this idiot, who never quite knew the right things to say or do, but somehow managed to make everything better anyway.

He flops back onto the bed again and looks up at Rei. His glasses are reflecting the light oddly and Rin can’t see his eyes this way, so he reaches out to nudge them out of the way.

“Thanks.” He doesn’t need to say anything else; knows Rei will understand the gravity of that one word.

Rei just shakes his head at him. When their eyes meet again though, both of them flush this time, in remembrance of _the incident_ (Rin is just going to refer to it as that for the time being) _._ Rei pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose awkwardly and Rin just turns his face into his pillow. He wants to forget all about this and let sleep drown out all his worries and misgivings and anger, but there’s still something that he needs to clear up.

“Uh, Rei. Nagisa’s not going to know about this, right?”

Rei’s eyes flare wide open, and his face becomes even redder if that’s possible.

“No!” He exclaims. And then catches himself and continues in a milder tone. “Not that it would matter, because Nagisa-kun and I aren't in a relationship.”

He’s lying. Or maybe he really is just that obtuse, Rin can’t be sure. But he’s not in the mood and he doesn’t have the energy to enter that particular line of conversation. He’ll broach the topic with Rei when he’s feeling a little less like an emotional wreck, he decides. Because Rei and Nagisa are disgustingly cute and happy together and Rin will never let them know this, but their relationship gives him hope, makes him think that someday, something might work out for him too. (He pointedly ignores the little voice in his head reminding him that he’d nearly botched that perfect relationship with one of his terribly bad decisions.)

“Yeah, yeah.” He manages to drudge up a little disbelieving smile for Rei’s benefit and then shuffles his foot forward to nudge at Rei’s lower back insistently.

“I’m gonna knock out for a bit. Switch off the light when you leave?” His mouth is cracking open in a yawn even as he speaks and he suddenly feels bone-tired. Rin can run for two hours straight and still come back and get pumped up for a night out in town, but these pesky emotions really take a lot out of him. He doesn’t want them, didn’t ask for them, but they’re here to stay anyway. He’s accepted that, but he’s allowed a little time-out from them every now and then.

When Rei doesn’t respond, Rin decides to have a little bit of fun with him. He deliberately scoots backward on the bed and lifts up the covers on the left side.

“Unless you’d rather have a nap too?” The question is innocent, but the way Rin shifts his palm to his cheek and arches an eyebrow certainly isn’t, and he waits amusedly for Rei to fluster and run.

He doesn’t have to wait long at all. Rei jumps. There’s no other word for it. He leaps right out of the bed and holds his palms out in front of him, shaking his head from side to side in a fantastic impression of those bobblehead dolls Gou used to love when she’d been a kid.

“No, no, uh, you go ahead, Rin-san. Nagisa-kun should be coming over anytime soon. So I’m just going to-“ He inches his way to the bedroom door, and adds: “Sleep well, Rin-san.”

He thumbs at the light switch and ducks out of the room, and everything’s dark and silent now, just the way Rin wants it to be. It’s easy to close his eyes and press his face into the downy pillow. When his arm catches on warm, soft flannel tangled in the sheets, he somehow knows without looking exactly what it is. A hot rush of anger comes over him and he kicks at it until he hears the soft whump of the hoodie hitting the floor.

He won’t need that anymore.

 

-

 

When Rin opens his eyes next, it’s because everything's suddenly bright even through the shield of his eyelids. And more pressingly, something knobby and warm is nudging at his shoulder; very insistently. He stubbornly squeezes his eyes shut, hoping that a non-reaction would will away the disturbance. He has no such luck.

A pesky finger is nudging into the apple of his cheek now and then moving down to hook onto the side of his mouth and pull it upwards. His eyebrow twitches in annoyance and he gives the intruder absolutely no warning before he turns his head to the side lightning-quick and catches the offending finger in between his teeth. He’s gentle, but it clearly has worked because the finger is drawn back immediately.

“Ow ow ow! Rin-chan, you’re so mean!”

As he suspected, he opens his eyes to the sight of Nagisa’s own huge, pitiful ones. There's an exaggerated pout inches from his face. He flaps his hand in front of his face and draws back onto the bed, creating some space between them.

He clears his throat, trying to get rid of the crusty feeling there before he speaks.

“Whaddaya want Nagisa?”

Nagisa just makes himself comfortable, scooting back to lean against the headboard and turns serious eyes to Rin.

“How’re you feeling now, Rin-chan? Rei-chan told me you weren’t looking too good when you got back earlier.”

Everything that he’d been trying to consciously block out: the events of this morning, the tears and the uprising of worryingly familiar cynical thoughts, comes flooding back to him and he winces. Actually winces, because even though the intensity of those feelings have dulled somewhat, they’re still very much present inside of him.

He figures he might as well get it out of his system. He tells Nagisa everything, all that happened right after he left the apartment in the morning. Nagisa nods and urges him to continue every time his voice hitches, and other than slightly widened eyes at the part where he recounts Haruka’s big revelation, Nagisa shows no outward sign of judgment. Rin has never been more grateful.

When he finishes, after what seems like hours, it feels like a load has been lifted off his chest. Nothing is solved really, but Rin feels like it seems a lot more manageable when he actually lays it all out plainly. He looks at Nagisa’s contemplative face, and sudden, intense guilt stabs at him when he recalls the events from the afternoon.

He wonders if he should come clean about _that_ too, but decides against it almost immediately, because as magnanimous and open-minded as Nagisa may be, Rin’s pretty sure that he’s not going to let this indiscretion of his slide so easily. Rin doesn’t expect him to. He knows how he himself would’ve reacted if he were in Nagisa’s place after all, and the thought isn’t pretty.

Nagisa hums and taps at his chin before turning to face Rin properly.

“Rin-chan, I know you must probably be feeling like Sousuke-kun's just been stringing you along the entire time. But from what I’ve heard, it doesn’t seem that way at all.” He searches Rin’s face for any signs of protest or anger and when he finds none, continues.

“It sounds a lot to me like Sousuke-kun just really likes you. He likes you so much that he was scared to tell you the truth. That happens, doesn’t it?”

“Well if he likes me so much, he could’ve spared me the fucking embarrassment and told me the truth from the start.”

Nagisa sighs and tuts at him a little sadly.

“But if he’d told you from the start, would you even have given him a chance, Rin-chan?”

Rin doesn’t even need to think to find the answer to that. If Sousuke had told him that he was a high schooler right off the bat, Rin would’ve turned on his heel and pretended that the encounter had never happened. He may be liberal, but he’s not _that_ liberal.

Plus, he’s just beginning to pick himself up and right his life as it is, and it would be as terrible a time as any to decide to enter a relationship with a god-forsaken sixteen year old, of all people. He’d rather get his kicks somewhere else, thank you very much.

But it’s far too late to contemplate that now, because he knows exactly how those eyes crease when Sousuke breaks out into a genuine smile, and he remembers just how low that voice dips when he’s teasing Rin. Try as he might, he can’t seem to reconcile the self-assured, gorgeous Sousuke in his memories with Sousuke the sixteen year-old, Sousuke the high school student. Doesn’t really want to, if he’s being honest, because he knows that once he does, the last remnants of that fantasy will slip right through his fingers and he’ll be left with only the truth and nothing else.

“Does that even matter? He lied, he lied to me!”

When Nagisa interjects with “Obfuscated, Rin-chan, not lied!”, he snarls at him almost automatically.

And then dips his eyes in shame, because he really shouldn’t be taking his anger out on someone who was only trying to help. Especially not when that person could be outside cuddling with his not-boyfriend, instead of subjecting himself to yet another one of Rin’s torturous, angst-ridden anecdotes.

“Sorry, sorry.” He sighs, smiling a little apologetically at Nagisa. “I’m just really affected by this, I don’t know why.”

Nagisa’s eyes are knowing when he looks at Rin.

“That’s because you like him. You like him a lot. And you’re stuck now, because you can’t really forget him, but you think you can’t date him either.”

Nagisa has summed up the problem pretty accurately, Rin thinks. He does like Sousuke, he likes him more than anyone should like someone whom they’ve known for barely a day.

It all boils down to the basic problem with Rin: he gets attached far too easily, and that wouldn’t be a problem at all if he could disengage just as quickly. But he can’t do that, and he ends up wallowing in self-pity afterward, until someone inevitably comes along to pick up the pieces.

He really needs to stop doing this, he thinks, because one day he’ll find himself in this very rut and no one will be around to help him sort out his own shit. They’d all have gotten tired of hearing him cry wolf, and wouldn’t even glance back.

“Yeah.” He sighs, half to himself, and half for Nagisa’s benefit.

“Rin-chan, I’m not going to tell you what to do. But if you like him that much, you should just go for it. You know Rei-chan and I don’t care about things like that. And Mako-chan and Haru-chan were probably just surprised today, they’ll come around.”

Nagisa’s words colour his thus-far bleak thoughts with just the slightest tinge of hope, and he wonders if he could ever live down starting a relationship with a minor. Sousuke sure doesn’t look like a sixteen year old, so that definitely helps, but he is one anyway, and avoiding addressing that would just be akin to cheating himself, Rin knows.

He feels for cool metal of his phone on the bed spread and then thumbs the power button until the screen lights up. Nagisa leans his head in curiously and Rin lets him, because he’d spilled most of the dirty details to him after all, and the guy deserved the full story if nothing else.

’12 new messages’. And below that notification: ‘4 missed calls’.

Could have been worse, Rin thinks. Like that time he’d fallen asleep after an evening work out and completely forgotten that his project group had a literature review due the next day. And that he’d been in possession of the final draft. That had been a very eventful night.

He scrolls through the line of messages. Surprisingly, only three are from Sousuke. Another seven are from an increasingly distressed-sounding Makoto and wonders never seem to cease, because the last two are from Haru.

Nagisa seems to find that very interesting. He reaches out and prods at Haru’s name on the screen until the messages pop up.

‘Oi.’ Rin snaps, but it’s half-hearted, because he’s pretty curious too.

 _Rin. Are you alright?_  The first message is standard, nothing that unexpected, if he doesn’t count in the fact that Haru barely ever touches his phone.

And the second: _I’m sorry._

It’s just those two words, no explanation, nothing. Rin turns to Nagisa, a little confused, but Nagisa just grins at him and shakes his head.

‘So Haru-chan can feel sorry too, huh.’ He wonders to himself.

Rin decides to save Makoto’s messages for later, mostly because he knows the line along which they’ll read. He feels a little bad for making him worry, thinks he’ll call him once he’s finished with dinner.

He brings up Sousuke’s conversation window onto his screen tentatively, and he remembers the giddy excitement in his chest the last time he’d done this. Now, it’s replaced with a tense sort of anticipation.

_I’m so sorry, Rin._

_I like you a lot, I honestly was meaning to tell you today._

 Rin’s heart clenches painfully when he reads the last one, and he knows exactly when Nagisa too catches it, because he makes a soft, sympathetic little noise at the back of his throat.

_I understand if you don’t want to contact me or see me anymore, though. I won’t bother you._

When Nagisa grabs at his upper arms and shakes him lightly, Rin lets himself sway from side to side with the motion.

“Oh Rin-chan! He likes you so much! And he’s so sad!” Rin nods by way of answer, because he does sound sad, and Rin’s throat dries up when he thinks about how desolate that last message in particular had seemed.

His fingers drift to the reply button subconsciously, but he draws it back as if he’s been burnt, once he realizes that. His mind is muddled now and he’s still only half-awake – it’d be in bad form to make a decision now. He decides, and climbs out of bed, laying his phone out carefully on his study desk, leaving the tab open on his thus far blank reply to Sousuke’s messages.

He exhales through his nose, and thinks that at least most of the puzzle pieces have been laid out clear for him to survey. Now all he has to do is fit them together and come to a decision. Nagisa’s eyes twinkle at him from the bed, like he knows exactly what that decision is going to be, and Rin slaps him upside the head lightly for that insinuation. And then pets the soft, curly hair on the very spot he’d just hit.

“Thanks, Nagisa.” His voice is just a mumble but he’s positive Nagisa picks up on it.

He’ll never stop getting inexplicably shy every time he thanks his friends, because it’s an honest surprise to him every single time: that they’d step forward to help Rin, because he feels like he’s done nothing at all to deserve that sort of kindness or dedication. He’s beyond grateful for it though, and he reminds himself never to take it for granted.

When the doorbell rings exactly once right then, Rin’s heart starts pounding in a staccato rhythm. Until he realizes how silly he’s being: Sousuke would have no clue where he lived. There’re dozens of apartment complexes that are mostly occupied by students in this particular street and it’d be like feeling out for a needle in a haystack to try to find someone without a proper address. He’s not sure why then, that the feeling wells up in his throat almost tastes like disappointment.

Nagisa zips out of his room in two seconds tops, but when Rin moves to follow him, his feet freeze and refuse to move beyond the bedroom entrance. He shuffles them nervously and pokes his head out from behind the half open door, watching as Nagisa gets on his tip toes to get a better look through the peephole at whoever's outside.

He turns around and flashes a thumbs up to both him and Rei, who's come out into the living area, mouthing ‘Mako-chan and Haru-chan’, before turning the knob and swinging the door open.

Rin’s not sure if Nagisa meant for him to feel more at ease with that; because he isn’t feeling very reassured right now. The troubled little looks Makoto had aimed at him this morning are still fresh in his mind and he knows, knows very well that sweet, caring Makoto, one of his very best friends Makoto,  would be the last person to condemn him or even judge him based on a single, terribly thought out decision. Nevertheless, the fear is not completely unfounded, and it niggles at his brain insistently.

Haru is an different story entirely. His misplaced irritation from before at him has died down mostly, but he still feels a little twinge in his chest when he remembers how cold Haru’s eyes had been when he’d slipped his hand into Sousuke’s, and how he’d dropped that bomb on Rin without batting an eyelid. Haru’s intentions towards Rin have always been good though, despite the way he goes about expressing himself sometimes, he knows, so he shakes those thoughts away stubbornly.

Makoto lets himself in, and his eyes immediately scan the living area for Rin. Rin’s breath quickens and he yanks his head back and leans against his bedroom door. And then tells himself to stop acting like a fucking moron.

He steps out just as Haru trails into the apartment and their gazes catch and hold. Haru’s eyes are shadowed and almost contrite. Rin searches them for any signs of anger or worse, disgust. He finds none, and that’s enough for Rin, more than enough.

“Haru.” He gets out in a small voice, unable to mask the sheer relief he’s feeling right at this moment.. And receives a little smile in response.

“Rin.”

The silence would have drawn out after that, but Makoto is in front of him in a second and he rests warm palms on either side of Rin’s shoulders, peering into his eyes anxiously.

“Rin, I was so worried.” He spares a fond little glance at Haru and corrects himself. “ _We_ were so worried.”

Haru’s little ‘tch’ from behind them, not quite a denial, makes Rin’s lips twitch and he brings up his own hand to pat at the one on resting on his shoulder gently.

“Sorry, Makoto. I should’ve texted you back. I’m fine.”

Makoto looks appeased by the answer and it’s only then that Rin picks up on the delightful smell of fresh lemon grass and olives from the paper bags that are slung in the crook of his elbow. Haru’s holding an identical one.

He raises an eyebrow at Makoto.

“We brought take-out! Figured the occasion called for it.” Makoto’s voice is cheerful and his eyes are earnest. Rin loves him, really.

“Thanks, guys.” He says first to Makoto and Haru, and then Nagisa, who’s eyeing the bags in Makoto’s arms with an unholy sort of glee and Rei, who just smiles at Rin. He’s surprised to realize that he’s never meant it more sincerely than he does now.

They pile into the living area in unanimous agreement (the dining table was far too cramped and small to seat five boys), and Rin heads into the kitchen to grab six sets of cutlery (an extra one for Nagisa because Rin is far too used by now to his chopsticks slipping out of his fingers and flying across the room as he dug in with far too much enthusiasm) and a stack of plates.

Footsteps come up behind him and an arm reaches under his own to swipe the tissue box from the counter.

“Hungry?” He asks Rei with a little smile when he turns, and Rei nods back at him. Rin’s ears heat up just the tiniest bit in remembrance when he meets his eyes and he realizes exactly when Rei notices it, because the poor guy stumbles backward and then high tails it out of the kitchen. Rin can’t help his own laughter at the ridiculousness of it all as he follows him to the living room and he hears Rei make an indignant sound and then primly lower himself onto the floor beside Nagisa (elbows and knees bumping into his none too subtly). Nagisa, whom upon closer inspection, is quite literally drooling.

Rin reaches over to help Makoto pry open the lids of the take-out containers, and the smell of freshly cooked, steaming Thai food is upon his nose in an instant, making his own mouth water traitorously. He’d skipped lunch, he realizes.

When the containers of olive fried rice and basil chicken (amongst a whole array of other dishes; It looks like Makoto had gotten every single thing on the menu) are finally set out on the floor, he settles himself opposite Makoto and Haru, crossing his legs comfortably.

They’re all waiting for him and when he lifts up his chopsticks, there’s a chorus, before all of them dig in at once. It feels like home to Rin.

He wonders absently how Sousuke must be feeling right at this moment. If he’s downtrodden, lying on his bed like Rin had been just hours ago, if he’s resentful of Rin for not giving him a chance to explain himself. He tries to drudge up outrage and the anger from before, but he just can’t seem to do it anymore.

He’s still upset at him for leaving out such a crucial detail, for not being honest with Rin like he himself had been with Sousuke, but he’s also resigned himself to the fact that the last glimpse he’d gotten of those troubled blue eyes is going to be haunting him for a long time to come.

The flavor of the ginger marinated chicken explodes on his tongue as he chews absentmindedly, but he can’t even bring himself to appreciate it fully because his head is amass with thoughts and scenarios and possibilities – all involving Sousuke.

He’s not sure if the others have picked up on his quietness throughout dinner but then figures that even if they had, he’s probably deserving of a free pass overlooking it anyway, because it hasn’t exactly been the most fantastic day for him.

Nagisa finishes with the last of the tom yum and lets out a low burp, and Rei's predictably scandalized response follows.

That’s the cue for them to start clearing up the floor area. Rin stacks up the dirty plates, balancing them on one hand and bends to scoop up the used cutlery with the other. By the time he dumps them in the sink and gets back, Haru is wiping up the last of the soy-sauce spills with a wet tissue and Nagisa is already hogging a corner of the three-seater couch.

Rin motions for Rei to take the seat beside him, because he really doesn’t want to be stuck in the middle of their gross little attempts at flirting when a movie’s playing. He’s lived through that experience once, and once is more than enough.

He hears the tap turn on in the kitchen and realizes that Makoto must be trying to take care of the dishes.

“Makoto!” He calls out, as Nagisa switches the television on. “We can do them tomorrow! Get over here.”

The sound of water running halts. And Makoto ambles over with a sheepish grin on his face. Since Haru has claimed the last bit of space on the sofa, Rin just sinks down in front of the coffee table and motions over to Makoto to join him on the rather chilly floor. He does.

He sighs as Makoto’s warmth bleeds into his chilled shoulders and chest through his thin tank top and then tries to snuggle closer without being too obvious about it. Makoto must have noticed though (he always does), and he just slides sideways and presses himself up to Rin tightly. He sighs again and shoots him a grateful look from the corner of his eye. Makoto’s crinkled eyes are response enough.

They settle on a re-run of Titanic showing on the LifeTime channel just because the other options are either too frightening (Makoto), too frivolous (Rei) or involve too little water. Rin swings his elbow back to jab at Haru for that last one, just because he’s a fucking weirdo.

Makoto glances back at Haru with fond, half-lidded eyes.

“Haru-chan, that’s a terrible excuse.” His voice is chiding and softly amused and Haru just lifts a challenging brow at him.

“Not really.” Is all Haru says. He lifts a toe to nudge Makoto in the shoulder lightly.

The next hour is more or less silent, interrupted only by Nagisa’s occasional wet snoring (he’d conked out after the first half an hour, quite predictably) and Rei’s little exclamations about the dubious idea of ‘love at first sight’.

When he turns back a little while later, he’s greeted by the sight of three peaceful, sleeping faces. Haru’s head has tipped to the side and his foot is nudging Makoto in the back. Nagisa and Rei are a tangled mess, Rin doesn’t even begin to try to figure out which limb is whose.

Makoto has turned to take in the adorable view too, and he shares an openly fond look with Rin. When Makoto shifts Haru’s legs so that they’re stretched out more comfortably on the floor, Rin reaches out to absently play with Haru’s big toe, pushing it forward and then back in repetitive motions.

“Makoto.” He says in a hushed voice. Celine Dion is crooning in the background.

Makoto turns to look at him briefly, but his eyes widen when he spots the serious look in Rin’s eyes.

“Makoto. If I ask you something, will you answer honestly?” He knows it’s a cop out as soon as he asks the question, because Makoto is just too good a friend and too nice a person to tell Rin what he really thinks. It’s one of his more endearing (and difficult) traits.

It’s amusing to watch Makoto steel himself up and nod at Rin though.

“If I told you I was thinking about getting into a relationship with Sousuke, what would you say? Hypothetically that is.”

Makoto looks like he’d been expecting the question, though. He doesn’t hesitate.

“Rin. You’re my friend. I’m not going to gloss over it and tell you it’s going to be all okay or easy, I think you should know best yourself, but if you like him, I’m going to support you anyway. And so are they.” He nods at the triad of peacefully slumped forms.

His eyes are glinting with honesty in the dim light from the television and Rin is so grateful, so grateful to have friends like these. 

“Thanks.” He whispers to Makoto and reaches out with his fingers to turn his face back to the television screen when he just continues giving Rin those earnest eyes. Makoto laughs and shoves them away. That’s all he’d needed to hear.

He stretches once and then pushes himself up with palms braced on the floor. Makoto looks at him curiously, but then understanding creeps into his eyes and he just nods at Rin and turns back to the movie.

Rin cracks his room door open and makes a beeline for his phone. He picks it up and unlocks it, and the tab that he’d left it on blinks back at him.

‘Hey.’ He types. And hits send before he can change his mind. He doesn't have to wait for long.

Less than thirty seconds later (he's counting this time), his phone starts jangling and vibrating in his palm.

 _Incoming call from Sousuke_ , the screen announces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /shifty eyes. i'm so sorry for the complete lack of sourin in this one. the next chap is gonna be almost entirely Sousuke/Rin with not much cameos from the gang, if that helps. Also, possible resolution of the conflict. 
> 
> i know this might all be going a little too fast, but i'm aiming to complete this story before my uni term starts getting really busy bc i don't want to be /that/ person, the one who leaves a WIP fic hanging. I'm also curious: would you prefer if i kept the rating tame or can i go wild, idk. 
> 
> the age of consent where i'm from is 16, but i'm fully aware that this might not be the case for you guys, so idk how comfortable/uncomfortable you would feel with a little action. not in the next chap obviously, but..


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Sousuke makes a soft, almost hurt sound and makes as if to say something, Rin shakes his head in the privacy of his own room and continues in a tiny voice.
> 
> “You’re sixteen. And it doesn’t seem to have changed how I feel about you one damn bit. God help me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ETA: tumblr user rockets drew amazing, flawless art based off the jogging scene in chapter 3 of this fic, so please do check it out if you have the time: http://rockets.tumblr.com/post/93338613456#notes
> 
> her art really made that sloppily written scene come to life tbh, i'm forever honoured and grateful :')

Sameer Gadhia's emotional yowling is getting just that bit louder with every ring that passes and Rin takes a deep, shuddering breath, his eyes fixed almost magnetically on the way his phone screen lights up with that name, that damn name. 

If he doesn’t either receive or silence the call in a couple of seconds tops, he knows the obnoxious indie music (Rei loves to get under Rin’s skin by referring to his entire playlist as that) is going to reach Haru and Rei where they’re conked out in the living room and awaken them quite rudely. (Nagisa is a different story altogether: once he’s out, even a drum recital held right outside their doorstep won’t quite be enough to make him stir).

His fingers poise over the receive call button and his eyebrows draw down in consternation. He’s going to do this. And if he does manage to botch this conversation, he knows Makoto is just a door away from him. He shouldn’t be so reliant on his friends to pick up the pieces and clean up after his messes, should be better at reeling in his emotions, but that’s work for another day. He has enough on his plate for today, _tonight_ , as it is.

He screws his eyes shut and brings his finger down just the slightest bit, till it grazes the green square.  The screen switches over to call mode.

00:01, 00:02, 00:03.

He hears Sousuke’s curiously heavy breathing on the other end of the line. His own breaths begins to come faster and between the both of them, the static noise of the phone call is nearly drowned out.

00:05, 00:06, 00:07.

He waits for Sousuke to say something, anything. Sousuke doesn’t. The silence drags on. Rin wishes he could find either enough courage within himself to muster up his voice or enough serenity to hang up the call and leave this entire thing behind. It doesn’t look like he’s going to be blessed with either one of those traits in the immediate future, though, so he just sighs into the silence.

“Rin.” Sousuke’s voice stumbles over his name, hesitant and soft and nothing at all like the dozen other times Rin’s heard it from him (in fond exasperation and in between bouts of laughter and mostly just tinged with that painfully addictive warmth).

“Rin.” He murmurs again, and a tinge of desperation is infused into the syllable of his name now.

It jolts Rin out of his reverie. He doesn’t like it. Doesn’t like the hint of anxiety in that voice, how Sousuke sounds like everything’s over even before it has begun. It’s Sousuke who’d held back on him, and he has no right to go on deciding everything by himself.

Sousuke seems to have taken his prolonged silence as an answer.

“Right.” His voice is completely subdued now. “I’m sorry, I understand.”

“What?” He doesn’t even realize that he’s spoken. Feels surreal, like the voice he’s hearing isn’t coming from himself at all. “What do you understand?”

Sousuke makes a confused noise on the other line and it’s enough to set Rin off.

“I asked you what you understood!” His voice cracks embarrassingly mid-sentence, and he takes a second to swallow because his throat is parched all of a sudden.

He continues.

“Because I don’t understand anything. Why’d you pull that shit, Sousuke? I should hang up on you right now.” He pauses, because tears begin to prickle at his eyes, and he can’t have that, not while he’s trying to hold a serious conversation here. He tamps down on them with a tremendous amount of effort. And clears his throat.

“But I’m not going to. You’re sixteen. Fucking sixteen.” He’s on a roll now, and he’s going to regret this terribly sometime in the near future (as with most of his life decisions), but try as he might, he can’t stall the flow of frustrated words.

When Sousuke makes a soft, almost hurt sound and makes as if to say something, Rin shakes his head in the privacy of his own room and continues in a tiny voice.

“You’re sixteen. And it doesn’t seem to have changed how I feel about you one damn bit. God help me.”

It’s true. Rin knows that he’s a high school student. He can picture him running through the corridors after his last class of the afternoon to attend the swim meet, roughhousing with the rowdy boys in his class, staring out of the window during math lessons while twirling a pen between his fingers. Can picture him heading home and getting nagged at by his mum like a regular high school kid, and then fighting to talk above his siblings and parents over dinner.

Rin wants him anyway. He wants that Sousuke because he’s also the Sousuke who’d laughed clear and loud on the beach that day, head thrown back, eyes glittering, with that endearing little flush on his cheeks. He’s the same guy who’d bashfully held out his hoodie for Rin to take two nights ago and also the one whose hand had been warm, and fingers so sturdy and reassuring between Rin’s own.

It just isn’t possible for him to have gotten attached to someone so much over a matter of just two days, but Rin has managed to do it anyway. Has defied the odds. He should receive a medal for making the best worst decisions, he thinks bitterly.

He’s said whatever he has to say and then some more. And now that his cards are all on the table, he knows that whatever Sousuke says next is going to make or break him.

The static in the line crackles as Sousuke draws in a sharp breath and Rin’s mind is buzzing with almost painful anticipation now. He wants to hear what he has to say so badly, but he also has enough self-preservation left in him to be fearful of what’s to come; he wishes he had the foresight to guard himself from disappointment and heartbreak, it’d have saved him countless sleepless and tearful nights.  

After all, like he’d told himself that night he’d met Sousuke, his life is most definitely _not_ a rom-com.

“I-“ Sousuke begins, and Rin’s fingers actually begin to tremble a little from where they’re gripping the phone too-tightly.

“Yamazaki-saaaaan, you haven’t left yet! No, wait, since I joined the swim team, it’s probably Yamazaki-senpai now, right right? Yamazaki-senpai!” 

There’s no mistaking that annoyingly exuberant voice, even as muffled as it is thanks to the steadily worsening quality of the call. That fucking kid had the worst timing ever.

Rin closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb frustratedly. He’d been _this_ close to getting his answer.

And then his eyes pop right back open because if Momotarou was there- It meant that Sousuke was working his shift at the store right now.

“Sousuke.” He gets out, voice a little frantic. “Sousuke, stay there. Stay at the store.” And then hangs up the phone, hoping above hope that Sousuke will pick up on exactly what Rin is planning to do right now. He’s grabbing his wallet and keys and yanking open the bedroom door before he can think twice about it.

He shoves his wallet and phone into the pockets of his sweatpants hastily. And then pauses just as he’s about to reach the apartment door. Fuck it.

He sprints back to his bedroom and scans the floor area around the cupboard first, before getting onto his knees and stooping to take a look under his bed. It’s there. Lying innocuously in a crumpled blue heap. He stretches out his arm and makes a grab for the lapels of it before yanking it out. There’s a smidgen of dust by the pockets, but once he shakes it off and pats it down, it looks fine.

The vaguest traces of mint cocoon him when he slips the hoodie on and this all seems so very familiar. He’s even wearing the same ratty navy-green tank top underneath as that night, he realizes, as he pulls the zipper up, yanking insistently on it when it gets caught three quarters of the way through. This could all either go very well, or to complete shit. He closes his eyes and hopes fervently that it’s going to be the former.

When he rushes out to the living area again, Makoto gives him a contemplative glance from where he’s resting his chin on a palm. He looks drowsy, but seems to grasp the idea fairly quickly and just nods at Rin.

And then he points insistently to the hideous green sling bag that’s resting by the dining table.

“It’s probably freezing outside, Rin. It was bad enough hours ago when Haru and I were on our way over. Take my ear muffs and scarf. It’ll save you time.”

Nagisa gurgles loudly in his sleep and both Makoto and himself jump a little, before turning to each other and grinning in exasperation.

Rin smooths down the little shit’s hair fondly, even more unruly now (if that’s even possible) from being smushed between Rei’s shoulder and the back of the sofa, as he walks past him to grab Makoto’s bag from the table.

He winces as soon as he spots the lime green scarf in the side compartment, but quickly masks the distasteful expression he must be wearing, because Makoto is gracing him with an expectant look. He rifles through the space and picks out a pair of earmuffs that are a far less offensive-looking shade of magenta instead. He doesn’t really need them, has braved temperatures far lower than this while wearing far less articles of clothing than he is now.

But Makoto’s a sweetheart who’s only trying to help and Rin is going to be a decent friend and accept it and thank him like one should do. If putting on these earmuffs is what it takes, then he’s damn well going to put the earmuffs on, he thinks to himself.

He smiles back at Makoto and slips them on over his head and adjusts them so that the overtly-fluffy sides lay cupped over his hears. They feel good though, silky and soft and blissfully warm.

“Thanks, Makoto.” Rin knocks into his back gently with a knee as he passes him and then makes a beeline for the front door.

“You should take my bed. It’s too cold out here, especially on the floor.” He tosses over his shoulder. And gives him a reassuring nod when Makoto just shoots him a lingering, uncertain look. “Go on, just sleep inside. I won’t be back till late anyway.”

That’s a lie. There’re a million and one ways this could go down. For one, Sousuke might not even be in the store anymore. Rin’s last words to him were probably confusing as all hell, on hindsight, and it’s highly likely that he’d just dismissed them and gone on home. And the other possibility, well, Rin’s not sure if he even wants to think about them saying goodbye and parting ways right then and there.

It’s not going to happen, he decides, stepping out and locking the door behind him. Not if he has anything to say (or do) about it. He hadn’t let himself broil in self-pity and misery for almost an entire day just to let the guy slip out of his grasp even before he’s actually gotten a chance with him.

He starts running.

It’s only when he gets to the open common area that he really starts to appreciate Makoto’s gesture. The wind is strong and positively _icy_ and feels almost like little needles on the skin of his cheeks and nose. Only his ears are strange, comfortable heated points. He wonders if he should turn back to grab Makoto’s scarf and another jacket to layer himself in just for a moment, but then decides against it and continues loping through the yard until he reaches the gates.

The streets are lonely and quiet as they pass by him in a blur, and it’s almost painful to draw in breaths now, with the icy air making his throat and chest sting. Wracking coughs escape him at one point, and he stops just for a second, to breathe in deeply and observe the skin of his hands turning snow-white and scaly under the golden light of a street lamp.

Then he continues, continues running because he knows it’ll cut him half the journey time to that damn shop. He’s always thought of the distance between their flat and the line of convenience stores to be a blessing, but it hardly feels like one now. Rin isn’t sure if it’s the anticipation and sheer desperation to get to Sousuke making him feel this way, but the journey seems to stretch for a hundred miles instead of the one odd one it really is.

His teeth start chattering and he’s reminded once again of the last time he’d traveled this very road to get to the grocery store. But this time, he pulls the hood up and tucks his hands into the sleeves of the warm, warm hoodie and just continues running, swerving to avoid the brick wall at the corner and then finally, _finally_ spotting the lighted up sign of the store right at the end of the row. His fingers start trembling from something entirely different from the cold.

He barely even realizes that he’s slowed his step; he’s no longer running, just taking halting little steps in the direction. Rin knows he’s stalling, trying to think of what to say once he sees those eyes, because now that he’s so close to seeing Sousuke, the elaborate speech that he’d been concocting in his head and working up to, suddenly leaves him. He stops in his tracks.

He’s reminded of being eleven and dawdling at the park opposite his house after school, listening idly to the click clack of stilettos and phone conversations as faceless adults rushed home after work. And then he'd watched lovers with entwined hands as they strolled through the path, with empty, far-away eyes. Recalls finally, _finally_ setting foot into his front yard at eight in the evening, long after dusk and silence had settled across the neighbourhood, unable to step into the house just yet.

He’d stood outside for twenty eight minutes, inhaling the fading smell of incense drifting through the gap under the front door and the sound of Dora playing on the television. He hadn’t wanted to open the door and find his mother’s sad, tired eyes and strained smile, all jagged at the corners and _wrong._ Hadn’t wanted to face Gou’s confused, pleading expressions or answer her insistent questions about where ‘Dad had gone’ after his mother had tucked them into bed and switched off the light.

But most of all, he hadn’t wanted to meet his little sister’s bright, crimson gaze (he’s taken to brushing his teeth in his room instead of the toilet to avoid those damn mirrors) and be reminded of those very eyes on a sharper, wind-weathered face. A face that’d never more crinkle in acknowledgement and warm amusement every time Rin managed to pull off those cartwheels that he’d been practicing for so long, a face that he’d never be able to reach out and touch, just to feel out warm skin and laugh lines, just to know that he was there and _real_.

He’d eventually had to face up to it though, and Rin thinks that he’s just being a coward now, because he’s not eleven anymore, and there’s no reason at all for him to be standing three yards away from those damn glass doors, fingers tugging at the loose strings of the hoodie anxiously. All this for a high school kid.  

Gou would get her kicks from this, he muses, would probably hand him tissues and ice cream and tell him that he hadn’t changed one bit. Still as much of a hopeless, romantic maniac as he’d been when they’d played house together in kindergarten and he’d thrown on his dad’s too-big suit jacket and pretended that their pony plushie had been his noble steed and himself a prince from a faraway land. He doesn’t feel like much like a prince now at all.

He tucks strands of flyaway hair behind the fluffy mounds of the earmuffs and steels himself. And then charges in determinedly, his right shoulder nudging the glass doors open.

His courage leaves him almost as soon as it’d come and his eyes dart around the store nervously. There’s a middle-aged lady in the third aisle; the aisle with his favourite Ramen, the one where he’d stood pawing at the packets and the same one where he’d turned around to catch his first glimpse of those eyes.

The lady seems to have sensed Rin’s intent gaze on her and she turns her head to give him a dirty little look, tugging at the hem of her denim skirt self-consciously. Rin flushes a little at the implication, and had he really been spacing out for _that_ long? He whips his eyes away when she gives him a suspicious once-over, taking in the worn sweatpants, the oversized hoodie and the ridiculous ear muffs. He must look like a drunken trouble-maker or a homeless person right now, and the latter is looking more likely, what with the way his lips and fingertips are turning nearly blue from the cold.

He tugs the muffs down from his ears and lets them hang around his neck loosely before quickly moving to hide himself from the lady’s line of vision because the dubiousness in her gaze has exponentially increased and Rin thinks that she might just report him to the store staff. He cringes. That’d be a terrible way to run into Sousuke again.

And then he gets to work, scouring the aisles, hoping beyond hope that Sousuke is by some chance, still around, and that he hasn’t made this trip for nothing. His heart sinks a little more every time he peeks into an aisle and finds it empty or littered with unfamiliar (ordinary) faces and he can feel resignation starting to creep into the steadily widening void in his chest.

Of course. Sousuke had tried to apologize and explain himself over the phone, and Rin had quite effectively shut him down; whether he’d meant to or not was a different issue all together.

He bumps into a lithe body as he turns the corner and his hands automatically reach out to grab the person’s shoulders and steady them. It’s the grey-haired cashier kid from before. He looks a lot less harried now that he’s not at the till anymore, but he bows at least three times in apology to Rin in any case.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I should’ve watched where I was going!” His eyes are shimmering with enough apology that one would think that he’d socked Rin in the jaw and sent him sprawling dramatically onto the floor instead of just lightly bumping into him. Rin just shakes his head at him and the kid, no _Nitori’s_ eyes widen in recognition.

“Ah! Are you here for Yamazaki-san?” He blurts out and Rin’s breath hitches in his throat at the sound of _his_ name, pathetic as it is.

Nitori continues, seemingly unaware of the shift in Rin’s expression.

“He’s been off today. He hasn’t even smiled once. There’ve even been complaints, because you know..” His voice drops into a conspiratorial little whisper. “Yamazaki-san looks kind of scary when he doesn’t smile.” Nitori’s eyebrows draw down in a piss-poor imitation of Sousuke’s frown and Rin just raises a brow right back at him in disbelief. He’s not sure if the kid is being serious. He just might be.

He just nods uncomfortably at him anyway and works up to the question that’s been lodged in his throat since he’d come across Nitori.

“Is-“ He swallows. “Is he here?”

Nitori looks back at him a little confusedly.

“Who? Yamazaki-senpai?” When Rin nods at him jerkily, his grey eyes take in the nervous tic in Rin’s left eye a little warily. “Um, yes. Aren’t you here for him? He’s in the employee’s room out back. His shift was over twenty minutes ago. Momo-kun told me he was waiting for you!”

Rin’s eyes widen in simultaneous relief and anticipation and he gives Nitori a grateful little pat on the shoulder before taking off in the direction of the back room. Hope swells liquid and hot in his chest, in the same space that had been hollow and aching only seconds ago. It’s crazy how much of a clutch the guy has on his heart, he thinks, even as he draws closer to the grey door shadowed in the dimmer light towards the back of the store.

His fist clenches and unclenches and his footfalls seem obscenely loud even to his own ears as he crosses the final few feet to stand in front of the door. The door Sousuke is behind. A sudden rush of anxiety washes over him and he almost considers turning tail and making a dash for it back to the warm, cozy apartment where all his friends would be dozing and he could just slip into the warm space between them left just for him.

He heaves a breath and closes his eyes. Hadn’t he just been thinking about his tendency to rely on his friends to clean up his messes and wipe his nose for him today? He’s going to prove himself wrong: that’s the very least he can do for Sousuke and himself.

His heart is almost thumping out of his chest as he fits his fingers around the shockingly cold door knob. His palm, slippery with nervous sweat, slips and slides on the metal as he twists it slowly. And then the door is creaking open. There’s a rustle from inside the room and Rin tentatively pushes at the door until he creates a space just big enough to slide his torso through awkwardly first, and then his legs.

He shuts the door with a little click. Doesn’t turn around, just stares wide-eyed and intent at the shiny grey of the surface until zigzag patterns  start forming before his eyes and he’s almost dizzy with tension.

“Rin.” Rin’s shoulders tense and a little, senseless noise escapes his throat at the sound of that surprised voice, deeper than he’d remembered it to be and so much more vibrant and _real_ than it had sounded on the phone twenty minutes ago. He turns on his heel and lifts his head and oh _fuck_ , Rin drinks in the sight of Sousuke sprawled on the flimsy wooden chair dragged against the wall, legs stretched out across the width of the tiny room. He looks larger than life, just like he had the very first time Rin had laid eyes on him. And he’s impossibly beautiful in that polo tee, unbuttoned at the collar to expose patches of sharp, inviting collarbone.

Rin notices the tired looking eyes, drooping more than usual at the corners and he wants to smooth at the sides of them, kiss the little worry lines that’re making their way onto his forehead now. He wonders if Sousuke has friends like the ones sprawled out on Rin’s couch now, friends who could make the world seem a lot less dark. Friends whom he could’ve gone to after everything that’d gone down this morning. Somehow, he doesn’t think so. From what little Rin knows of him, Sousuke looks like the kind of person who’d prefer to sort out his problems himself, rather than getting others involved.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” Sousuke’s smile is all wrong. Self-depreciating and a little wry. There’s not a trace of humour to be found in his eyes either. Rin clenches his hands into a fist before he can do something impulsive like reach out and cup his cheek and smooth over the soft, warm skin there with his thumb.

He shrugs a little in response and tries to meet his gaze. Sousuke makes it hard. His beautiful eyes are traveling from one corner of the room to another and he looks anxious. Trapped. Like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like he’s waiting for Rin to reject him. Rin thinks that he couldn’t be more wrong.

He takes a step forward. And then another and another until Sousuke has to tilt his head to look up into his face. His fingers are drumming on the arm of the chair restlessly and Rin thinks that he’s never quite seen him so unsettled, never seen him look so _young_ and unsure of himself. The curious sight makes affection and protectiveness swell in his chest (and it’s funny, because what Sousuke needs now is protecting from _Rin_ himself), but mostly, it just makes him all the more determined to say what he has to say and make this alright. See that smile again.

“Of course I’d come.” He mutters and immediately picks up on the tiny spark of hope in those eyes.

“Listen. I’m sorry I ran out on you this morning. And I’m sorry for ignoring your calls and messages. I just needed a little time. To think.”

“Why are _you_ sorry?” Sousuke chuckles, and the sound is chock-full of bitterness. “I’m the one who lied to you. I screwed it up. You didn’t even need to come here, I-”

“But I did anyway.” Rin interrupts. He gives in to the temptation of brushing the pads of his fingers over tufts of black hair. It feels soft and cool on his skin and he takes a deep breath and brings his palm down on Sousuke’s head. Sousuke, even in all his confusion, nudges his head into the touch just a little.

“I did. You’re sixteen.” The mention of his age makes Sousuke flinch back a little, but Rin just continues, because he’s going to address this head-on. “You’re sixteen, and it’s probably illegal in ninety nine states, but I like you anyway. I like you so much.”

It’s surprisingly easy to get the words out, mostly because it’s how he really feels. Sousuke’s eyes snap to his own and search them for any signs of deceit. Rin just meets that desperate, probing gaze and holds it because he’s never been more honest or sure about anything in his life and he wants Sousuke to know that.

“You..  You don’t care?” His voice is small and when Rin shakes his head, he continues. “You like me.”

“You like me. You really like me.” He murmurs disbelievingly, almost to himself, and hope blooms, potent and all-encompassing in his pretty eyes, as Rin watches.

“How could I not?” Rin’s laugh is the one that’s self-depreciating now, and when Sousuke looks up at him again, he gestures in his general direction with a hand. “Look at you.”

Sousuke laughs, abrupt and loud, and the sound cuts through the tense silence and reverberates against the thin walls. Rin watches him with disgustingly fond eyes and yeah, how had he _ever_ thought that he could walk away from this guy and cut him out of his life just like that?

“Rin- Can I still call you that? Or should I call you Rin-san? Now that-“

Rin cuts him right off with a derisive snort, because he’s very sure about this.

“ _No_ , please. Just call me what you’ve been calling me all this while. I know you’re sixteen and I can deal with it, but I don’t need a reminder of that every few minutes.”

Sousuke laughs again and nods at him. And then just looks up at him, his eyes drifting to Rin’s hair first and then trailing down to his neck where his earmuffs are resting and finally coming to rest on where his own hoodie is almost slipping off Rin’s left shoulder.

Rin’s eyes widen and the barest hint of red starts creeping into his cheeks because Sousuke had noticed. He’d noticed, and Rin doesn’t regret his hasty decision to throw on the hoodie, but the way Sousuke is just _looking_ at him now makes his chest feel funny and his toes curl in the dry warmth of his trainers.

He thumbs at the sleeve of the hoodie self-consciously and then nudges Sousuke’s knee with his own to get those blue eyes back on his own.

“You’re wearing it.” Sousuke states the obvious and he too is reaching out to rest a big hand on Rin’s hip, right on top of the soft material. Rin’s breath hitches because he’d thought that the _hoodie_ had been warm, but Sousuke’s palm is burning a path right through it and scorching the sensitive skin of his side.

If Sousuke has noticed how Rin’s entire body has gone stiff, he doesn’t say anything. He just lets his thumb drift from side to side along the slight swell of Rin’s hip beneath the material and wets his lips with his tongue contemplatively.

“You know, I don’t usually do this. I meant to introduce myself to you properly the very first time that I met you, but then you just looked at me and I couldn’t get myself to say those words.” His voice is soft and he sounds like he’s somewhere far away.

“I told myself I’d tell you if you ever called me. But then you ended up calling, and I still couldn’t do it. I just liked you so much, _like_ you so much. And I was afraid that if I told you _that_ , you wouldn’t give me the time of the day.”

His thumb stills in its motions and he falls silent. Rin’s heart clenches at the abject desolation in his eyes; eyes that are shining almost wetly under the fluorescent lights. He starts petting his hair both in an effort to get his attention and to make that look disappear. When he cards through the soft strands with his fingers, Sousuke just sighs and looks up at him.

Rin lets his fingers slide down from his hair to his cheek and he taps at it with two fingers.

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” He meets Sousuke’s gaze. “You weren’t being entirely honest with me, and I was angry at first. And disappointed. But I had time to think about it, and even though I don’t like it, I can understand why you might’ve done that. I was sixteen once too, you know?”

“Yeah.” Sousuke sighs. “I guess you were.” He huffs out another tired little breath.

“Everything’s just been going really wrong these days.” He admits after a moment of heavy silence. “My grades have been slipping for the past few months, my times haven’t improved for at least two months now, and the coach of the uni swim team that scouted me last year called me yesterday to tell me that he’s going to be coming down on Monday to get a _feel_ of my swimming.”

“ _What_ swimming.” He laughs a little derisively. “There is no swimming to speak of.”

And then Sousuke’s fingers tighten their grip on his side and he pulls Rin just a little closer to himself in an almost subconscious action.

“But then I saw you. You came in to the store with that one glasses guy two weeks ago. I saw you then, you know?” When he spots Rin’s arched eyebrows, he just laughs. “Yeah, and you looked so tired, like you were about to pass out. But you were still so beautiful.” Rin’s cheeks heat up at the way his tone is so soft and fond.

“I promised myself I’d talk to you the next time you came in. And I did. Who would’ve thought that you’d actually be interested in me?” Sousuke’s eyes are a warm and liquid blue when he turns them on Rin. He looks uncomplicatedly happy in that moment and Rin really can’t be blamed for what he does next.

He brushes Sousuke’s choppy fringe aside with a few fingers and dips his head just enough to press his lips to the warm, soft skin of his newly exposed forehead. And then lingers there. Sousuke freezes up with the motion, but as the seconds pass by, his shoulders slump and he just lets his eyes droop closed and heaves a sweet little sigh full of contentment.

Rin wants to memorize the softness of his skin under his lips, the silky-smoothness of his hair between his fingers, and store it away for rainy days ahead. When he draws back, he’s curiously unembarrassed, but Sousuke’s cheeks are tinted an adorable shade of pink, just like they had been two nights ago when Rin had smoothed his hair down.

The more time Rin spends with him, the more he realizes that Sousuke himself is very different from the unaffected, confident persona that he projects. It positively thrills Rin every time he discovers a side of him that he’s sure would never otherwise be exposed to the public eye. And he's surprised to realize that he wants to continue watching Sousuke, being by his side, until he knows every little shift in his expression, every little endearing quirk that he has.

When Sousuke’s warm arms wind around his torso and tug him closer so that he can bury his face in the folds of the material bunched over Rin’s midsection, Rin just drapes his own arms around his shoulders and closes his eyes, leaning in just the slightest bit to inhale the faint hints of strawberry in his hair. His heart is beating at a steady pace, and he feels content.

There’re probably a million and one things he’ll have to deal with if he chooses to pursue this _thing_ with Sousuke, but when he cracks his eyes open just the slightest bit to take in the sight of him clinging to Rin like he’s his very own lifeline, he thinks that it’ll be well worth it.

He laughs at the ticklish sensation when Sousuke nuzzles into his stomach, and tries to step back and away, because he’s beginning to realize that this is far from a private space and that any one of the employees could step in at this very moment and find them like this. (The timid kid, Nitori, he’d probably have a minor seizure if he found them, Rin thinks.)

Sousuke’s arms only tighten around him. And then they loosen abruptly. But only because he's dragging the chair back and getting to his feet.

Rin feels out of his element again, just like the very first time, because all this while he’d been looking down at Sousuke, but now that he’s on his feet, he’s realizing all over again just how tall he is, and just how wide and strong his shoulders look in that polo. His throat is abruptly dry as sandpaper. He still has trouble believing that _this_ guy is a high school kid.

“Rin.” Sousuke murmurs, and his arms tighten around his waist again, fingers interlocking at the small of his back. Rin’s own hands flounder and he brings them to his side awkwardly, because the confidence from before is slowly fading into oblivion and he can barely bring himself to meet Sousuke’s eyes.

“Yeah?” His voice comes out surprisingly composed and even (nothing at all like the jumble of nerves and excitement and simultaneous embarrassment that is his mind now). Rin trails his eyes up and over the tanned expanse of skin at his collar and then to the sharp edges of his jaw and finally up to the blue, blue eyes. And then whips his head back down abruptly, eyes wide, because Sousuke’s eyes aren’t on his own after all; they’re fixed on a point much lower down on his face.

Amidst the tension skyrocketing between them and the own nervous thumping of his heart, a little devious thought flits into his head and he chances a glance at Sousuke’s eyes through his own hooded eyelids, still so intently fixed on his mouth, and very deliberately lets the tip of his tongue slip out and just barely swipe at the swell of his bottom lip.

Sousuke’s eyes narrow and darken a shade at the tiny movement, and his eyes shoot up to Rin’s, searching them for something, anything. Satisfaction seeps into Rin’s every pore.

“Rin.” Sousuke says again, voice low and serious. Even as he’s speaking, his head dips and his face inches closer to Rin’s own. “Can I kiss you?”

“I don’t know, can you?” Rin asks him, just to be a smartass, and then has to stifle his laughter at the unimpressed look Sousuke turns on him.

Rin sees him open his mouth again to speak but cuts him right off by rising to his toes, bracing his hands on those firm shoulders and pressing his lips chastely to Sousuke’s own. It’s warm and wet because Sousuke’s mouth is parted just the slightest bit and Rin’s eyes droop closed again at the way his fingers and toes tingle at the sensation.

When he opens them again, Sousuke’s eyes are boring into his own and from this close, he can spot little flecks that’re lighter than the even aquamarine, dotted around the perimeter of his irises. Rin’s hypnotized by them.

Sousuke seems to have regained his bearings now though, and Rin’s breath leaves him in a little gasp when his hands fit around the curve of Rin’s waist and lift him up further up on his toes. He barely waits a second before slanting his lips onto Rin’s and kissing him like his life depends on it.

Rin’s toes are aching from holding his weight up for such an extended period of time and they quite inevitably fold. Their lips break apart with a slick sound and he slumps back down onto his heels, wondering how a simple press of lips to lips could fill his chest with such molten heat and transform his entire body into a frazzled tangle of nerves.

Sousuke doesn’t allow for further introspection though because he dips his head and follows Rin’s mouth with his own. When their lips are barely two inches apart, he stops. And looks at Rin with such adoring eyes that Rin wants to shake him from side to side, ask him what it is that Sousuke sees in someone like him.

Someone who can barely get anything right even on his best days, who’s overly dependent on his friends and family to build back the bridges he’s burnt and someone who invariably ends up hurting those very people, the people he cares about the most.

Rin blinks to get rid of those thoughts because he’s here now, those blue eyes are creeping closer to his own and _oh_ their noses are brushing now. He can feel Sousuke’s damp, warm breath falling onto the space between his lips and nose and he wants so badly to lean in and take the tempting swell of his bottom lip between his own. Nibble on it, and feel his lips part. And then take him apart with his tongue and teeth.

He’s about to do just that when the door is pulled open and someone comes dashing in. It’s all a blur, really, until the figure slams the door shut and then bumps into Sousuke from the side almost violently. Rin winces in sympathy, because Sousuke is a big guy, but the sheer force of the impact sends him stumbling across the room and the sound of his knee knocking into the arm of the chair isn’t fun at all to hear.

He catches the guy by his upper arms and steadies him before he goes falling onto Sousuke and causes any more of a furor, but when he spots orange hair, he groans loudly. Of _fucking_ course. It looked like this kid was doomed to ruin every single one of his and Sousuke’s meet cutes.

Momotarou’s wide golden eyes blink rapidly up at him and Rin just slaps a palm onto his forehead frustratedly, licking his lips to savour the last traces of Sousuke he’s going to be getting for the next half an hour at least. If this kid had anything to say about it.

Momotarou makes a squeaky sound then and Rin notices at the very same time he does, exactly where his hands are resting. On either sides of his chest, and really, wasn’t this all just a _little_ too convenient. When the fingers of one hand curve around the shape of his chest almost on instinct, Rin’s eyes flash dangerously and he growls at him with teeth bared.

“Aa- Please, don’t!” Momotarou’s already panicked eyes flicker towards Sousuke for help, but he probably finds none there, because he snatches his hands back and dashes to the corner of the room, from where he cowers and shoots little apprehensive glances towards where Rin’s fuming silently first, and then pleading ones at Sousuke, who’s rubbing at his knee with a few fingers irritatedly.

“I’m sorry, Rin-san, I didn’t mean to, there was just this guy who was chasing after me because he said I gave him the wrong directions to the mall last week and I had nowhere to go and I came here and then both o-“ His rapidly forming tirade cuts right off and he frowns at them.

“Wait, what were you two even doing in here?”

Rin flushes to the roots of his hair and the kid’s bright eyes widen in sudden comprehension before they flit to Sousuke’s in awe.

“Yamazaki-senpai! You did it! You did it!” He charges at Sousuke and pats at his arm and then nudges his fist into his chest excitedly and Sousuke tries in vain to keep the irritated expression, but Rin can make out exactly when the corners of his lips start twitching in reluctant amusement. Looks like Rin isn’t the only one unable to remain mad in the face of those stupidly earnest golden eyes.

“Yeah I did it, and you just interrupted us and ruined it, Momo.” Sousuke sighs and knuckles the kid’s head roughly. Momo just perks up at the little touch like a puppy and tilts his head at Sousuke.

“I’m sorry about that! But Yamazaki-senpai, you really give me hope. If you managed to tackle a university student, then there’s still yet hope for me and Gou-san.”

Rin feels a little embarrassed because the kid's talking about him like he's not even there, and he's just about to tell him to piss off. But then he does a double take because did the kid just say what Rin thought he had? It couldn’t be.

“Who?” He asks, hoping beyond hope that it's just his paranoia acting up and that he’s completely and utterly wrong about this.

Momotarou turns to him excitedly and his eyes are actually sparkling. What the _fuck_ is he, Rin wonders, half-disgustedly and half-fascinatedly.

“Gou-san! She’s going to be my girlfriend, Rin-san! I ran into her once in town before, and she goes to university someplace else, but she’s the one for me, I’ve decided. She’s so beautiful, she has the prettiest red hair and she.. She kind of looks like..”

Momotarou freezes, catching wind of Rin’s steadily darkening expression.

“She kind of.. Looks like _you_ , Rin-san.”

Rin cracks his knuckles and closes his eyes, willing himself to stay calm because Gou is a grown girl now, and she most definitely could fight her own battles. She could shake Momotarou off any time of the day anyway.

And then he opens his eyes and goes straight for the fucking kid’s throat.

Momo turns chalk-white, and then he’s out of the door in a flash. Rin can hear him hollering apologies all the way out the corridor. He takes a couple of deep breaths and wills his expression into something a little less frightening and blood thirsty. He’d take care of this little pest later. And give Gou a call tonight for good measure, regarding the details of her next trip here. And then he turns to face Sousuke again.

Sousuke’s _giggling_. There’s no other word for it. He has his fist pressed to his mouth tightly and he’s sprawled on the chair lazily once again, but Rin can’t even bring himself to get mad at him, because he looks absolutely beautiful, with his legs stretched out comfortably and his eyes sparkling with humour.

Rin smiles just as he reaches him.

“Think this is funny, do you?” He asks, and then jabs him in the ticklish spot on his ribs once. When Sousuke’s breath just hitches on a snort of laughter, Rin does it again. And then once more. Sousuke’s hands come up to cross over his chest protectively and Rin can’t help but laugh along with him, because that clear, ringing sound is infectious and makes his own chest feel light and airy.

When Sousuke’s laughter dies out, Rin waits until he’s settled more comfortably in his chair before swinging himself onto his lap, legs dangling off the side. Sousuke’s thighs are muscled and hard and Rin has to shift a few times to make himself comfortable.

One of Sousuke’s arms comes up to wind around his waist to keep him from overbalancing and tipping to the side and Rin marvels at how _easy_ all of this is.

Just an hour ago, he’d been wondering if the guy would even give him the time of the day after Rin had hung up on him and before that, he’d been so caught up in all the ways this could go wrong. He rubs his thumbs over the endearing little creases at the corners of those blue eyes and thinks now, that he’s made the right decision.

He lowers his chin onto the crown of Sousuke’s head and idly rubs tufts of black hair between his fingers. When Sousuke kisses his throat wetly once and then the dip of his collarbone, he shivers a little. But then he just noses into the skin of his neck and goes slack in Rin’s arms. Rin can hear the evenness of his breathing and realizes that he’s probably had as much of a terrible day as Rin. Probably even worse, since he’d been forced to push everything aside and drag himself to work.

He presses his lips to Sousuke’s hair very gently and then lets his own eyes droop closed, lulled by the gentle movement of Sousuke’s breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD i'm so sorry I ended it here. I swear, I wanted there to be more, but I'm going to save that for next chapter. 
> 
> Next time in SouRin hell: Sousuke goes over to Rin's flat and meets the duo of doom. Things get just a little hot and heavy, but Rin has to deal with those pesky little morals. And it's just about time for Gou to visit her brother.
> 
> I'm probably going to end this sooner rather than later, just bc I'm not the best plotter or ficcer and I'm going to be out of ideas really soon. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you too much :')


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even now, as he unlocks the door and swings it open to let Nagisa bound in excitedly, his thoughts invariably end up drifting to how Sousuke had brought his thumbs to smooth along the sensitive stretch of skin right under his eyes and kissed him once more, quick and chaste and tender.

Rin notices from the corner of his eye exactly when the metal lid of the pot starts wobbling precariously and clear liquid starts dribbling out from the sides. In just a couple of seconds, the little streams become rivers and there’re loud sizzling noises as the spilled soup makes contact with the turned up flame of the burner.

“Fuck, Rei!” He yells over the din, trying at the same time to reach over and turn down the stove dial before things start getting _really_ messy. “It’s boiling over! I told you we should’ve used the bigger one!”

Rei comes dashing back into the kitchen (he’d begged off for a few seconds to go to the washroom) just in time to spot Rin yowling and yanking back his fingers from where some of the boiling soup had touched the tips of them. Rin sucks on them and glares balefully at the damn piece of metal trash as Rei wraps his own hand securely in a towel before turning down the flame and stepping back.

When Rei turns to him and opens his mouth though, he closes it again and just points to the other burner which Rin had been attending to before this entire mess had happened.

“Forget the soup, look at the meat! The meat, Rin-san!” Rei’s eyes are wide and panicked and Rin really doesn’t want to turn around to see what has become of the beef. A faintly smoky smell reaches his nostrils and he groans loudly: it’s a sound of utter defeat.

And then whirls around and turns the flame down, barely sparing a glance for the now blackened and smoking strips of meat. Both he and Rei take a step back and survey the catastrophe that is the entire stove area: murky liquid with bits of spring onion and shredded pork floating about the counter and drip dripping onto the brown tiles of the kitchen floor, and then the line of burnt beef strips glued quite firmly to the saucepan.

“Well.” Rin sighs. “Take-out, it is.”

Rei nods, eyes downcast. He looks more than a little traumatized by the entire situation and Rin thinks to himself: never again. Never again is he going to try to cook so many dishes in such a limited period of time, and never again is he going to do all that under an immense amount of pressure.

Moreover, he’s beginning to understand that there’s a reason why Rei and him take over cooking duties on alternate days instead of just getting together and whipping something up. They may be compatible in countless areas (swimming, gift shopping, movie-marathons), but cooking is definitely not one of them. The evidence of their disastrous collaboration lies right in front of them now, hissing and mocking at Rin.

“I’m gonna call that place with the good OmuRice.” He pats Rei on the arm as he brushes past him to get to the living room. “Mind starting with the clean-up? I’ll join you as soon as I’m done.”

“Of course, Rin-san.” Rei’s voice is subdued and his eyes downcast. He probably feels guilty about suggesting that extensive (impossible) menu to Rin after he’d told him this morning that Sousuke would be coming over for lunch. Rin had been dubious, but the guy had tapped at his chest with two fingers, pushed up his glasses like the nerd he was and told him a little haughtily: “Leave it to me, Rin-san. Yamazaki-san will be blown away.”

Well, he sure would be blown away, but not for the reasons Rei had been thinking. He’d probably take one look at the state of their kitchen and back away with hands held out in front of him.

Rin stops in his tracks to give Rei a warm little smile, because he had been under no obligation to help him out, but he had anyway.

“Hey. It’s just one of those days. Don’t worry about it, alright?” When Rei looks at him with those still-contrite eyes, he sighs and rubs at his shoulder. “I’ve always wanted to let Sousuke have a taste of that OmuRice anyway.”

Rei perks up a little at that and nods back at him, a tentative smile creeping onto his face.

“Yes, it really is quite delicious. And beautifully presented, might I add.” Rin laughs and goes to fish out his phone from where it has slid to the corner of the sofa and then dials the number he’s memorized by heart now.

Just as he finishes rattling off his (rather extensive) order list, the doorbell rings and his eyes snap to the wall clock in a panic. It can’t be. It’s barely half past eleven.

On the way to the door, Rin draws in a breath, chiding himself for being so panicky and restless. Sousuke is only supposed to be over at half past twelve.   

He can’t help the little delighted grin that tugs at the corners of his lips though,when he thinks back to everything that had happened last night. It seems far-away now, almost too good to be true. He’d checked his phone right after he’d woken up this morning, wanting to confirm that it had all actually happened and that it wasn’t just a too-real dream that his desperate mind had concocted.

When he’d unlocked his phone, there’d been two messages blinking away on the home screen, just waiting to be opened. All traces of sleep had left Rin in a maddening, anxious rush. His fingers, trembling with a feeling that Sousuke seemed to invoke in him all too often, had tapped at them.

_Morning, Rin._

That was all the first one had said. And then he’d scrolled down:

_Can’t wait to see you this afternoon._

He’d pressed the cool plastic of his phone screen to his mouth, smothering the giddy little smile that’d risen up almost immediately after he’d spotted those words and closed his eyes, relief and excitement and anxiety welling up in his chest all at once. He hadn’t known what to make of the way he’d been so affected by two little messages, but as he’d curled up on his side and really thought about it, he’d found that he really didn’t mind.

Sousuke is _that_ person for Rin after all. The kind of person his uni classmates like to gush about during lulls in project conversations, with their eyes going all starry and their voices fond.

Rin had always distanced himself from the conversation every time the topic of significant others and love had come up, simply because he hadn’t had much to contribute at all. He’s been caught up in picking up the pieces of his own life, mending relationships that he’d broken down, getting himself back on track in the past two years, and just the idea of love had put him off tremendously. Now though, he thinks he understands the feeling they’d been going on and on about: the one where your heart feels so full, like it’s about to burst and yet you’re left aching for more, more and whatever scraps you get are never quite enough.

Safe to say, Rin had been distracted by thoughts of soft skin and black hair and eyes the colour of the sea during the entirety of his morning run. (At the height of his Sousuke-induced stupor, he’d bumped into a group of primly dressed ladies heading for morning mass at the nearby church and gotten some seriously dirty looks in return.)

Even now, as he unlocks the door and swings it open to let Nagisa bound in excitedly, his thoughts invariably end up drifting to how Sousuke had brought his thumbs to smooth along the sensitive stretch of skin right under his eyes and kissed him once more, quick and chaste and tender. 

And then they’d parted (Rin had been so reluctant to tear himself away from the addictive warmth of him, the heady scent of mint that’d cocooned him) because the voices from the corridor had been getting closer and closer and it just wouldn’t do for Sousuke’s manager to walk in and find them nudging noses like smitten teenagers (He’d winced at the unfortunate choice of words immediately after; could have phrased it better, considering that one of them was sixteen and therefore quite literally a teenager).

They’d walked past the cereal aisles and then cut across dairy one in a comfortable sort of silence, shoulders brushing, and eyes occasionally meeting and catching from where their heads had been tilted just slightly toward each other. Rin’d ducked behind Sousuke’s shoulders when he’d spotted the lady in the denim skirt checking out her items at the cashier till, but Sousuke had just raised an amused little eyebrow at him in return and nudged him playfully with an elbow.

When they’d finally stepped out (he’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of that bright orange hair; he’d had a couple of _firm_ words for him regarding the matter of his sister, but _of course_ , the damn brat would only make himself seen at the most inopportune of times), Rin’s heart had begun racing again, and his mind had jumped from topic to topic, anything he could talk about and stall the inevitable, because they’d have to part ways and he really hadn't been ready to.

With the adrenaline from the hushed, sweet kisses of before still running heavy and fast through his veins, he’d reached out to grasp Sousuke’s forearm tightly and before he could second-guess himself and his momentary bout of courage, he’d asked him over to his apartment the very next day. His voice had sounded small and unsure even to himself, but when he’d chanced a glance at Sousuke’s face, his expression had been open and happy and Rin hadn’t even had to wait for his answer to know that he’d be there, Sousuke would be _there_.

Now that he’d finally gotten his first taste of Sousuke (figuratively and quite literally too), he hadn’t been able to resist planning for his next fix, and he couldn’t say he was too embarrassed about admitting that to himself.

Sousuke had just shuffled forward and into Rin’s space and mentioned in a soft voice that he had a morning shift the next day and Rin’s mind had already started wandering to the possibilities of dishes (would miso and sweet and sour pork be too _ordinary_?)he could prepare for lunch.  He’d rattled off the address to the apartment and then, before he could overthink it and ruin everything, he'd stepped forward and into Sousuke’s space again to wrap his arms around his shoulders once and squeeze lightly. The hitch in Sousuke’s breath and then arms coming up in return to hold his waist had filled him to the brim with giddy excitement.

Rin is twenty, he’s settled into uni life comfortably (well, mostly), and his mum, his mum who has never quite stopped looking at Gou and him like they’re the same chubby-cheeked brats from ten years ago who were toddling around the dining area and knocking over her fine China, had called him two weeks ago and let him know that she was proud of the ‘adult’ he was slowly becoming.

He’s an _adult_. But now he’s with this high school kid with the messy hair and the endearing little laugh and the incredible shoulders and he feels sixteen all over again. With the butterflies in his tummy and the bouts of senseless daydreaming to boot.

Speaking of which, Nagisa is clinging onto his shirt sleeve and prodding with a fingertip at random, sensitive spots on his tummy to get his attention. Rin’s been spacing out again. And the devious little glint in the brat’s eyes tells him that he knows exactly why.

He’d replied at record speed to the message Rin had sent off to him last night informing him of Sousuke’s visit today, and Nagisa’s message had been peppered generously with winking faces and other suggestive little emoticons that Rin hadn’t even wanted to try to decipher.

“Rin-chan, Rin-chan, bringing Yamazaki-kun over to meet the parents so quickly?” His tone is straddling the fine line between playful and obnoxious so Rin cuffs him on the head once and revels in the pained groan it elicits.

“So mean, Rin-chan! I bet you don’t do this to Yamazaki-kun!”

Rin just tsks at Nagisa’s pouting and pushes his face away from his own, but then halfway through, he remembers what he’d been about to do before Nagisa had come barging in and he changes the trajectory of his movement and grips his upper arm lightly instead. Looks like he could put him to good use after all, he thinks a little slyly to himself.

“Ah, but you’re just in time, Nagisa.” He says mildly, and watches Nagisa’s brows come up and together in consternation.

“Just.. in time?”

Rei laughs from the kitchen; it’s a loud, vengeful sound, and Nagisa’s eyes immediately widen. Rin notices exactly when the little shit comes to a realization that escape would be the most prudent course of action at this point. He starts squirming, desperate eyes fixed on the front door, but Rin tightens his hold until he has his arm in a vise grip and then starts towards the kitchen, tugging a protesting, squealing Nagisa along with him.

Nagisa’s mouth is agape as he takes in Rei standing determinedly in scrubbing gloves and an apron in the middle of the terrible mess that’s their kitchen. It’s even worse now than it’d been before, Rin notices, because the boiled-over soup has spread and formed murky puddles on the kitchen floor and Rei must have tried his hand at extracting the beef strips that’d been glued to the pan ( _tried_ being the keyword), because there’s suspicious black-brown goo plastered on the white of the tiled walls.

“Yes, just in time, Nagisa-kun.” Rei continues with a little smirk, and it’d have been pretty hot, if he hadn’t been swathed in that ridiculous butterfly-patterned apron and those oversized scrubbing gloves. As it is, everything just looks like an episode of Hell’s Kitchen gone terribly wrong.

He reaches for the drawers under the sink and pulls out two sets of aprons and gloves before tossing them over to Rin. Rin catches them with one hand, his other still restraining a now-frantic Nagisa.

“The time has finally come for you to lift a finger and actually help with the chores, you little brat.” Rin scolds, and the struggling dies down a little as Nagisa turns up big, pitiful pink eyes to meet his own. Rin hasn’t fallen for that for months, and he’s not going to now. He’s not Rei.

“I’m going to let go of you, and you’re going to stay and help clean this damn place up. If you run, I’m going to lock you out. For the next week at least.” He tuts when Nagisa turns a pleading look to Rei and shakes his head at him.

“Rei’s not going to open the door for you either, so don’t bank on that. You’ll have to live off of instant noodles. Just imagine: Instant noodles for breakfast, instant noodles for lunch, and guess what? Instant noodles for dinner.” He gives the words a little time to sink in.

Nagisa’s eyes are conflicted and it looks like he’s doing some serious thinking. Then, he just slumps in Rin’s grip and heaves an overly dramatic sigh.

“Fiiiine. I’ll help.” He mutters a little sulkily, but his eyes brighten a shade when he spots Rei beaming at him. These hopeless saps, Rin thinks to himself.

“Great! Let’s get to work then.” Rin rolls up his shirt sleeves and slips on the clear plastic apron first, and then snaps the gloves on. His legs are more bare and unprotected from all the dirt than he’d have liked them to be (he has on his oldest pair of shorts from high school, and they cut off mid-thigh, edges fraying and unraveling). He surveys the kitchen with a sinking feeling in his chest. Then, he just sighs, heading over to the dirtied walls, because that’s as good a place as any to begin. He’s about ready for battle.

 

-

 

When Rin wipes the sweat off his brow with a thumb and tosses the washcloth into the sink, he hears two echoing sighs over in the living room. He peeks and sees that Rei and Nagisa have just finished scrubbing off the dining table, where weeks of dust have accumulated. They look about as tired of this debacle as Rin himself is.

He pulls off the apron and gloves and surveys their work from the last half an hour or so. The kitchen tiles, both on the wall and floor, are sparkling and stain-free and the counter, which had been an unsightly mess before, is now gleaming a clean, shiny black. He allows himself a little smile of satisfaction. Nagisa wasn’t such a bad helper after all; in fact, he had gone at the stove tops with brutal speed and efficiency, and Rei and Rin had just watched open-mouthed, because it was like an episode of extreme home make-over happening right before their eyes as layers of built up grime and grease crumbled under Nagisa’s ruthless hands. Rin resolves to rope him into more cleaning duties from now on.

When the doorbell rings, he checks the time on the wall clock again, just in case. Just past noon. Must be the food delivery then. He wipes his hands off on the dish towel and pats his hair down into some semblance of order before making a dash to the coffee table to fish out a couple of notes from his wallet.

Rei seems to have the same idea, and he gets to the door almost at the same time as him. When they bump up against each other and their fingers brush and tangle just for a second, Rei’s eyes snap up to his own and Rin doesn’t know why, but his cheeks are pink. Heat creeps up to his own face and he instinctively slants a glance in Nagisa’s direction. He’s not there, must’ve gone to clean up in the washroom.

He yanks his hand away, puts some space between them and opens the door instead. He wonders what the guy is going to think after looking at their dirt-smeared faces, red cheeks and shifty eyes. Probably not anything good.

He pulls the door open. It’s not the fucking delivery man.

As it is, Rin just freezes, the hand with the bills thrust out in front of him almost comically, and the fingers of his other hand clench and unclench, grasping at air. Sousuke’s blue eyes crinkle as he smiles back at him from behind the metal grills of the gate.

“Uh.” Rin says, eloquent as ever.

“Ah.” Rei adds sagely. He looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

Sousuke just arches an amused eyebrow as he takes in the both of them in all their filthy glory. His eyes linger just barely on the rolled up sleeves of Rin’s tight, worn-out Henley, and then stray more obviously to where his bare, smooth thighs are showing from where the barely-there shorts cut off.

Rei makes a little strangled sound from beside him when Sousuke’s eyes drift almost languorously up Rin’s legs and torso and finally come to meet Rin's own wide ones. Rin feels hot just from that gaze. The guy hasn’t even _stepped in yet._ Speaking of which.

His hands flutter about wildly before they click the lock open and swing open the gate to let Sousuke in. Rei is of no help at all. He just gapes at Sousuke when he steps up and into the apartment, looming over the both of them quite hilariously. It hadn’t been too obvious before because he’d been standing a step below them both.

Rin squeezes his eyes shut and prays, because the confused, dumbstruck look in Rei’s eyes as he takes in Sousuke’s wide chest and the way his biceps are straining against his shirt sleeves, bodes badly for all of them.

“H-how can you be in high school?” True to form, and exactly what he’d expected from Rei. His brain-to-mouth filter gives out on him at the most inopportune of moments, much to his dismay and Nagisa’s utter delight.

Sousuke just laughs a little, and nods at Rei in greeting, choosing to look past the rather odd comment. Rin sighs in relief and after Sousuke toes off his shoes, he ushers him in with a hand on his arm, shooting a little warning glance at Rei, who by now, seems to have caught a hold of himself.

“I’m so sorry, that was terribly rude of me! Yamazaki-kun. Is it alright if I address you like that?” Rei’s floundering now, adjusting his glasses with a couple of shaky fingers.

Sousuke lets himself be led to the sofa, and then turns to face Rei, who’s trailing behind them a little uneasily.

“Nice to meet you. You must be the flatmate. Rin’s mentioned you a couple of times before. I’m sorry for arriving a little early, by the way, I hope I haven’t interrupted anything.” He holds out his hand for Rei to shake and this seems to give Rei some much-needed confidence because he smiles back at him and takes his hand in a firm grip.

“Yes, yes I’m the flatmate. Ryugazaki Rei. Pleased to make your acquaintance, and it’s no problem at all, right Rin-san?”

Rin nods from where he’s leaning his hip against the back of the sofa and watching them with content eyes.

“Rei swims butterfly too.” He grins at Rei, watching him start at the sudden interruption. “Don’t you, Rei? He picked it up just this year, but he’s pretty damn good already.”

Rei’s eyes go wide and Rin thinks it’s because it’s not often that Rin doles out compliments while he’s in earshot. Rin knows that he’s well-deserving of this one in particular though; he knows just how hard Rei has been working at improving his times to make it onto the uni team, and he’s noticed how his workouts at the gym sometimes even stretch longer than Rin’s own.

Sousuke perks up at that, and as they start a conversation (albeit a little awkwardly on Rei’s part), he loops around the sofa to push both of them down onto it with firm hands to their shoulders and then reaches out grab his mobile which is lying on the coffee table. The food should have been here by now, it’s more than ten minutes past the estimated delivery time, and he dials the number for the restaurant, a little nervous now, because Sousuke’s here and he wants everything to be perfect.

As he sidles past the both of them with the phone held to his ear, he can’t stop himself from brushing an idle hand against Sousuke’s soft, soft hair. He’s gone for a much tamer look today, and when Rin smooths down his fringe, it lays flat against the left corner of his eye in an adorable little sweep. Sousuke looks up, distracted in the midst of his explanation about the workings of his school swim team, and gives him a tiny, private smile and _yeah_ , that’s enough to send the butterflies fluttering right back into Rin’s tummy.

He makes a beeline for the dining table and leans against it, waiting for the ring to go through, but he’s mostly just absorbed by the way Sousuke takes up more than a third of the couch, his shoulders nearly bumping into Rei’s. He looks perfectly at home, his voice easy and sprawl confident and Rin wants to keep him, he really does.

He’s changed out of his employee shirt, Rin realizes, as he surveys him from head to toe. He’s opted for a dark blue polo tee instead, and Rin can see the hint of a khaki undershirt peeking through where the buttons at his collar are undone. It goes ridiculously well with the dark green chinos he has on (the stretch of his legs across the floor seems never-ending), and Rin’s so distracted by the breadth of his shoulders and the blue-green veins showing in his forearms that he doesn’t realize that the call has connected until he hears a couple of “Hellos”. From the annoyed tone, he surmises that they’ve been trying to get through to him for a while now.

 He clears his throat a little embarrassedly, rips his gaze away where it’d drifted to the now-hidden patch of skin on Sousuke's forehead which he’d laid lips on last night, and then apologizes. When he enquires about the order, the lady brusquely replies that the delivery guy is on his way and then hangs up before Rin can thank her.

Almost as if on cue, the doorbell rings, and right as Rin fishes out the bills he’d stuck in his pocket and heads for the front door, Nagisa comes bounding out from Rei’s room, fresh-faced and beaming, and oh, Rin has to force himself not to look back at the impending train wreck that their first meeting is going to be. He hands the notes over to the delivery man and Rei comes up beside him to take two of the plastic bags from him. Rin grabs the last one and thanks the guy before turning around a little warily.

“Yamazaki-kun!” Nagisa has thrown himself onto the sofa beside Sousuke and Rin has to bring the back of his hand to his mouth the smother the laughter that’s bubbling up when he spots the disbelieving expression Sousuke is sporting. Nagisa’s kneeling before him, face way too close to his. Sousuke shifts away discreetly and glances at Rin apprehensively, but Rin’s eyebrows just draw up and together in helpless amusement and he shrugs a little.

Sousuke turns back to Nagisa and smiles at him tentatively, and then leans back a little as the little blond menace arches forward and into his space even more.

“It’s nice to meet you, uh-?”

“Hazuki Nagisa! You can call me Nagisa, Yamazaki-kun. I wonder if I should call you Sousuke-kun instead. Or maybe Sou-kun! That has a nice ring to it.”

Nagisa’s eyes are twinkling a little too much and Rin realizes belatedly that he’s just messing with Sousuke now. Rei seems to have come to the same conclusion because he gives Rin a vaguely uncomfortable but mostly amused sideways glance and then deposits the bags on the dining table. He comes to stand beside Rin and crosses his arms to watch the show go down.

“Ah. Yes.” Sousuke’s eyebrows have disappeared into the fall of his fringe and he’s looking at Nagisa like he’s an entirely new species of being. He gathers himself visibly nonetheless and nods at him with a little smile.

“You live here too, Hazuki-san?” He doesn’t seem to have taken up Nagisa’s suggestion to address him by his given name and Nagisa pouts a little. From beside him, Rei makes a vague sound of amusement.

“No, he doesn’t.” Rin cuts in, casually making his way over to stand in front of the couch and then knuckling the blonde head. Hard. “This little brat comes over everyday just to mooch off of us. Don’t you, Nagisa?”

“So mean, Rin-chan! I just want to spend time with Rei-chan and you!”

“Of course you do.” Rin waves his hand at him by way of response and then pushes him to the side of the sofa and away from Sousuke before plopping down in the middle seat. Sousuke immediately looks more at ease. He stretches out his legs and settles into the sprawl he’d been in before Nagisa had begun invading his personal space. And then nudges his knee against Rin’s bare thigh.

Rin can feel the warmth of him even though they’re not touching and he slants a conscious little glance his way, only to find those blue eyes looking right back at him warmly. From this angle, he can see the light reflecting off the inky upward sweep of his long eyelashes.  He must have been staring a moment too long, because Rei clears his throat from where he’s still leaning against the dining table.

“Well, Nagisa-kun and I will just set the table.” Rin’s facing away from him, so he can’t see, but Rei must have shot some sort of meaningful glance to Nagisa, because Nagisa just sighs resignedly and then Rin feels the sofa dip and then rise as he lifts himself off of it.

“Well, both of you have fun, Rin-chan! Remember, this is the living room!”

Rin flushes in indignation and whips around to knock some sense (and hopefully discretion too, but that’d really be asking for too much) into the brat, but Nagisa is already dancing out of his reach and away.

He turns back to Sousuke, face still pink and he’s closer than he’d been just seconds ago. Sousuke’s resting a forearm on the back of the sofa with his cheek leaning on his palm and just _looking_ at Rin. Rin opens his mouth to say something, but closes it. Then looks down at the even beige of the sofa a little shyly.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself. Thanks for inviting me over.”

Rin shakes his head. “Thanks for taking me up on the offer.”

Sousuke shifts and stretches his arm over the back of the sofa in a deliberate, slow movement, forearm brushing against strands of Rin’s hair. Rin is tongue-tied suddenly, and it isn’t awkward, not really, but words are eluding him so he just reaches out to trace idly over a few loose threads on Sousuke’s chinos.

Sousuke’s hand comes down to cover his own and Rin startles at the size and sheer warmth of it. He relaxes and settles back into the curve of Sousuke’s arm, which has nearly drifted down to rest over the width of his shoulders and on second thought, fits his fingers into the spaces between Sousuke’s own in a quick movement.

“Hope your shift went alright.” He murmurs a little absently, because Sousuke has shifted even closer to him now and their legs are pressed together tightly, faces drifting closer and closer.

“Yeah, it was alright. I barely knew what I was doing. Was thinking about how I’d get to see you in just a couple of hours.”

The clanging in the kitchen is loud and insistent and he can vaguely make out Rei raising his voice indignantly and Nagisa’s responding laughter but it all seems so far away and he can’t tear his eyes away now because Sousuke is leaning forward and the tip of his nose is nearly brushing Rin’s own now.

“Rin. I wanted to see you.” He says, and Rin nods jerkily, because the words are stuck in his throat and he doesn’t know what else to do. His eyes drift shut.

Warmth blooms on his left cheekbone and his eyes fly open in surprise because he’d been expecting something very different. Sousuke’s pressing his lips so gently to the curve of his cheek and his lips are soft and a little chapped from what was probably the walk in the cold.

His vision is overcome by shiny eyes (they’re the most beautiful blend of blue and green with specks of a colour Rin is quite sure he’s never had the boon of witnessing before), and he watches, dazed as Sousuke moves back, only to press in close again with his lips. When his eyelids droop shut, Sousuke drops tiny, chaste kisses onto them and then moves back down to leave one last lingering one on the tip of his nose.

It’s a religious experience, Rin thinks, as his eyelids flutter open and he just stares, dazed at Sousuke, whose lips have quirked up into a shy little smile now. It’s supremely unfair how he can rob Rin of all forms of higher order thinking with just a couple of chaste kisses and that _smile_.

He’s leaning in for a proper kiss, because Sousuke can’t just do that and then lean back onto the sofa like everything’s fine and dandy after he’d just casually scrambled Rin’s brains and left him wanting more. But then Nagisa’s voice sounds, close and too damn smug.

“Uh uh, Rin-chan. Dessert should be served _after_ lunch.” Rin’s eyebrow twitches and his hand stills from where it’d been reaching out to cup Sousuke’s cheek. He leaps out of his seat and this time, he’s quick enough to get the obnoxious brat’s head between the side of his ribs and a firm arm. He maneuvers him into what is probably a painful headlock and feels not an ounce of regret while drinking in his wobbly protests and cries.

Sousuke laughs loud and clear from where he’s leaned back watching them, and Rin just grins back at him, embarrassment and irritation melting away at the uncomplicatedly happy sound. He releases Nagisa and gives the messy strawberry blonde hair an absently affectionate ruffle.

“That’ll teach you.” He sighs and wanders over to the dining table to help Rei with laying the table. Sousuke lifts himself off the couch and trails behind him, but Rin bats his hands away insistently when he reaches for the plates and points him in the direction of the couch instead.

“You’re the guest, Sousuke! Go sit down.” Sousuke’s insistent though, and he comes up close behind Rin, chest brushing against his back and arms as he tries to reach for the plates again. Rin feels a rush of affection at the way he’s insinuating himself into Rin’s space so naturally, like they’ve known each other for three years instead of the three days it’s actually been.

Rei walks into the dining area, prying the lid off a take-out container and he just looks at Sousuke, who’s sidled up to Rin and then meets Rin’s gaze with a genuine little smile. Rin feels oddly embarrassed, even though there’s only warmth and genuine happiness in his eyes, and he pushes Sousuke away and heads for the kitchen to bring out the cooled pitcher of barley tea instead. He brings his palms up to his cheeks as he opens the fridge door and shakes his head, willing the sudden bout of self-consciousness away.

There’s a niggling worry forming in his mind about whether this is all happening too quickly, if it’s all going to burn out as fast too. There’s just something about Sousuke, something that draws Rin to him like a moth to an open flame. But he pushes the thought away stubbornly. He’s hardly gone around falling for every sixteen year old in the neighbourhood in the two years that he’s been in this town, and he should be allowed to like someone freely and uncomplicatedly, and not feel troubled about it.

When he returns to the dining table, pitcher in hand, everything’s set out nicely. He even spots lace doilies spread out beneath the cups. _Doilies_. He hadn’t even known they'd owned _doilies_. He’s sure Rei had something to do with this. Sure enough, the guy conspicuously avoids Rin’s searching, accusatory gaze, choosing instead to trace the crocheted patterns with a pinky finger.

Rin pulls out a chair and motions for Sousuke to sit. Sousuke does, but only after pulling out the chair beside, and Rin starts laughing. Nagisa grins at them sunnily from where he’s seated opposite and starts reaching for the food. Rei slaps his hands away and scoops out a portion of the OmuRice for Sousuke first, and then Rin.

Everything smells divine and Rin’s mouth is watering. Sousuke looks plenty hungry too, with the way his eyes are roving over the soup and the meat and Rin nudges his calf from under the table with his big toe playfully. Sousuke nudges him back and Rin takes that as a signal to dig into his food, Nagisa’s ’ooohs’ and ‘aahs’ and loud slurping reaching his ears almost immediately after.

Sousuke handles his chopsticks with an easy sort of grace, just like everything else he does, and Rin really shouldn’t be surprised. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t expected him to go at the food like he’s seen the high schoolers in fast food restaurants do (Makoto and him had watched a kid stuff an entire half of a burger into a mouth already full with fries with equal fascination and disgust once), but Sousuke surprises him yet again by eating slowly and leisurely. He picks at his food and takes small bites, chewing in adorably civilized motions. Another one to add to the already mile-long list of endearing things about him.

It’s only when Sousuke turns to him curiously that Rin realizes that he’s paused in the midst of bringing up a portion of omelette to his lips and is instead just watching him eat. He snaps his head away, red creeping into his cheeks, but Sousuke smiles at him and pops a morsel of meat into his own mouth, chewing slowly and holding his gaze. Rin startles when his left hand creeps under the table to trail over his knee and then squeeze lightly.

“Aha.” Nagisa snorts, but wisely remains silent when Rin angles a sharp little look at him (or maybe he just deems the food a priority).

The rest of the meal goes in relative silence. Rin gets up only once to fill their glasses with the barley tea he’d brought out and Sousuke’s hand slips right back onto the bare skin of his knee when he slides into his seat again. Warmth seeps into his skin from the point of contact, spreads up his limbs and pools in his chest. He continues eating.

 

-

 

When their plates are scraped clean of the last bits of rice and fluffy egg, all four of them settle back into their chairs with little sounds of contentment and there’s a comfortable sort of silence in the room. Rin rubs a hand over his pleasantly full tummy and then moves to get out of the chair. After he’s done clearing the dishes and depositing them in the sink, he turns to Rei, who’s followed him in.

“No, you’ve done enough. I’ll take care of these after Sousuke leaves, Rei. You go on ahead with your plans.”

Rei doesn’t protest, just nods at him gratefully and then heaves a sleepy-looking Nagisa up from his chair with a firm grip on his upper arm.

“Nagisa-kun! We were supposed to go shopping, remember? You can’t fall asleep now!”

Nagisa blinks huge, droopy eyes at him and Rei blinks right back at him once before his cheeks go red and he turns his face away and clears his throat.

“Alright, alright, you can rest in my room for a while. Not for more than fifteen minutes though. Come on.” Nagisa takes this as a cue to drape himself all over Rei and Rei half-carries, half-drags him across the hallway to his room. His expression is so fond and his eyes so soft where he’s turned them towards Nagisa, that Rin can’t help but let a smile of his own slip through.

Sousuke follows his gaze from where he’s lingering by the sofa area and smiles too.

“Ah Yamazaki-kun! It was a pleasure having you. I hope you’ll come by more often.” Rei stops mid-path, turns around and bows in Sousuke’s direction. It’s so earnest and sincere and Rin watches Sousuke dip his head in return.

“No, no, thank you for having me, Ryugazaki-san.  And of course I will. ”

Nagisa mutters an adorably slurred “Sousuke-kuuun, see you later!” from where his head is slumped on Rei’s shoulder and gives a little wave for good measure. Sousuke waves back, laughing low in his throat and Rin watches them go with fond eyes.

When Rei’s room door shuts with a click, Rin twists his hands in front of him, a little more aware now, and the nerves have started creeping back into him. They’re alone together again.

“Wanna see my room?” He asks, without much thought, and then does a double take and backtracks because that’d sounded awfully suggestive and he honestly hadn’t meant for it to come out sounding that way. “Ah no, that is, I meant, maybe you’d like to see my room?” That really doesn’t sound any better and Rin just sighs and shrugs in a helpless little gesture, waiting for the inevitable teasing.

Sousuke’s lips twitch up into a grin and he closes the distance between them with a few long strides to come and stand before him. Rin’s eyes drop to the way his right hand slides into his pocket in a motion that should be normal, but just looks ridiculously hot when he does it.

“Of course.”

Rin hooks two fingers into his trouser pockets and pulls him along. He nudges his room door open with a knee and waits for Sousuke to step in before shutting the door behind them. It’s reminiscent of his time yesterday with Rei, but the nervous, fluttery feeling that creeps into Rin’s chest now couldn’t be more different from the melancholy of the day before.

He gestures to the made-up bed, but Sousuke just surveys the stark white walls curiously and then wanders over to his desk to take in the collage of photos pinned to the noticeboard first and then the single frame with him, Gou and their mother resting at the corner of his desk.

“Nothing much to look at. Ah, here have a seat. I need to use the washroom, just give me a minute.”

Sousuke nods at him and settles onto the bed gingerly, eyes still drifting around the place. Rin makes a beeline for the toilet and shuts the door behind him. He doesn’t _need_ to use the toilet per say, but he sure does need a moment to himself. He wipes down the steamed-up mirror mirror above the wash-basin with a palm and then critically inspects himself.

His hair is messy; most of it has escaped his pony tail and is hanging about his face in messy tendrils, and of course it’d be, he hadn’t even fixed it after the bout of nightmare cleaning from before. He pulls out the hair tie and slips it between his lips, gathering up the unruly strands and bringing them back before securing them into a high ponytail using the tie. There. That looked better.  

Rin turns the tap on and splashes cool water onto his face, blinking it out of his eyes and then sighing in relief. He already feels (and looks) a little better and he wipes down his face with a towel and steps out of the washroom, a little more in control of himself and a lot less edgy now.

He needn’t have bothered. His heart nearly thumps out of his chest when he comes across Sousuke and the feelings from before come rushing back. He’s leaning against the headboard of the bed and he looks almost illegal, what with the way his polo tee has risen up to reveal just the barest strip of tanned skin at his waist and how his hair is mussed, the edges of his fringe drooping into his eyes just the slightest bit.

His eyes are twinkling a little mischievously and Rin is confused until he spots the steel-grey iPod Touch Sousuke is fiddling with. His eyes widen in panic because he _knows,_ he knows why Sousuke is chuckling now, knows exactly which song, which playlist Rin had been listening to last night as he’d drifted off to sleep. He’s across the room in a second, trying to rip the damn thing away from Sousuke.

“Rin, stop!” Sousuke’s laughing in earnest now, batting his hands away and cradling the iPod to his chest protectively. Rin watches with a terrible sinking feeling in his chest as he hits play and then:

 _I tried so very hard not to lose it,’_ Michael Bublé croons, and trumpets and saxophones break into the abrupt silence.  _I came up with a million excuses._

Rin makes one last grab for the thing, but when Sousuke slips it under the pillow and then leans back onto it, he just slumps onto the bed headfirst, burying his flaming face in the sheets. A garbled sound of embarrassment escapes from the back of his throat and he can’t believe this is happening.

When Sousuke’s laughter fades and he fishes out the iPod again, Rin shimmies up the bed to tilt the screen towards him and take a look at the display and _of course,_ of course it’d be the newest playlist, ‘Untitled’, the one he’d created last night after getting home.

There’s only one song in it.

 _And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get._ Bublé’s singing seems to have gotten louder and more insistent and Rin realizes that Sousuke must have jacked up the audio. He scowls at him, but just gets a tiny, thoughtful smile in response. Sousuke’s actually listening to it in earnest now, he realizes.

Rin slaps a palm onto his hot eyelids and groans again, because which sane twenty year old plugged a song about falling in love in a grocery store into their iPod and played it on repeat (his fucking iPod very helpfully states ’34 plays’ by the corner of the screen) for the whole night? Sousuke must think him a hopeless romantic fool.

He attempts to swat at the iPod in Sousuke’s hands and this time, actually manages to knock it away.

 _Baby, your love is gonna change me, and now I can see every possibili-_ Rin jams his thumb onto the stop button and then does it once more for good measure, but that just gets it playing again and this is _terrible_ , his ears and neck are burning and Sousuke’s laughter is ringing in his ears again.

Fuck it, he thinks, and then crawls onto Sousuke’s lap in an abrupt movement and kisses him. Hard.

That shuts him right up. Sousuke’s hands clench and unclench on the back of his Henley in surprise and his mouth is frozen under Rin’s own. Rin reaches out to cup his face with both hands and then adjusts his knees where they’re slip-sliding on the bed sheets on either side of Sousuke’s waist. When he pulls back from the kiss with a wet smacking sound, Sousuke’s eyes have gone narrow and dark.

Warm hands slide up the length of his bare thighs and Sousuke’s sharp little intake of breath tells Rin that he’s noticed how smooth they are.

“You-“

Rin cuts him off. This is one thing he can never bring himself to be embarrassed or evasive about.

“Yeah, I shave.” When Sousuke’s eyes drift over the rest of his torso, he nods at him and smirks. “Everywhere. Reduces the resistance when you swim, doesn’t it? You should know.”

Sousuke looks a little dumbfounded at how readily Rin admits all of this, but he seems to appreciate the decision either way. His hand slides down to a calf and smooths over the sensitive, slightly dry skin there without preamble and this time, it’s Rin’s breath that hitches.

Sousuke swallows the tiny sound with his own mouth and then his tongue is slipping in and Rin’s vision is taken over by blue and black and nothing else. He moans a little helplessly and smudges his thumbs over the jut of Sousuke’s cheekbones, holding him still only to slip his own tongue into his mouth. Sousuke’s chest is warm and solid when he slides a hand down to rest against it, and his heart is thumping almost as hard as his own is.

He breathes heavily through his nose and shivers every time Sousuke’s tongue brushes up against the roof of his mouth. Heat is pooling in him and he’s helpless against the overwhelming tide of it; he just tilts Sousuke’s head a little more to the side and gives him all he’s got.

When Sousuke’s fingers, which have drifted up to his thighs now, slide dangerously high up on his thighs and slip just beneath the cuffs of his shorts though, he comes back to himself. The contact sends a shock of renewed heat straight to his belly and he rips himself away and scrambles backward on shaky hands and knees.

“Ah.” He pants, wiping the back of his hand over his tingling mouth first, and then the wetness on his chin. He takes in the sight of Sousuke sprawled against the headboard, legs apart and hands still poised in the air where they were resting on Rin’s thighs. He’s breathing heavily too, and when Rin meets his gaze, he licks his lips and starts crawling towards him more than a little predatorily, a determined little glint in his darkening eyes.

Rin’s own eyes widen and he holds his hands out in front of him to ward Sousuke off, because this is going way too fast, and the guy’s still sixteen for fuck’s sake. He envisions Makoto’s disappointed eyes and then hears his Mum’s warning words in his head: “Don’t ever take advantage of someone who does’t know any better.”

Sousuke just nudges his outstretched hands away with his nose though, and goes straight for his neck. When his soft lips make contact with the crook of his neck and shoulder, the neurons in his brain misfire all over again. But he pulls on the strength somewhere deep, deep inside himself (he hadn't even known it'd existed) and pushes him away just as he feels the hint of teeth on his sensitive skin. He mourns the loss of those lips on his skin, but tells himself that this is for the best.

When Sousuke turns his pleading and simultaneously displeased blues on him, he reminds himself that despite the size of him and the way he holds himself so confidently, he’s still just a high school kid. And it’s showing now, more than ever. It’s good, he thinks. He’d needed a reminder anyway.

Rin closes his eyes for just a second and then slides out of the bed and stumbles over to the desk on shaky legs to put some space between them. He leans against it and watches as Sousuke slumps back onto the bed and rests his chin on steepled hands, gazing at Rin a little mournfully.

Rin just sighs and runs a thumb over his bottom lip in an absent motion.

“No.” He says. Shakes his head firmly for good measure.

“No?”

“Nope.”

“Wh-“

“You know why.”

Sousuke grins at him easily. “I knew you'd say that. It was still worth a try.”

Rin gapes at him for a moment. Then reaches over to crumple a stray sheet of paper lying on the desk and aims right for his forehead. Sousuke catches it effortlessly and laughs. Then rolls over onto his back to stare at the ceiling contemplatively.

Rin watches as little lines crease his forehead.

“You know I can’t. I’d be taking advantage of you.”

Sousuke glances down at himself first and then pointedly at Rin’s rucked up shorts and flushed cheeks and Rin’s face reddens even more.

“You’re still sixteen.” He says, maybe a little too brusquely, because Sousuke’s eyebrows draw together indignantly. But Rin just holds up his hand when he looks like he’s going to cut in. “End of conversation.”

He feels like an asshole immediately after, because Sousuke frowns and then nods in a jerky, irritated little motion.

“Fine.” He says. “For now.”

Rin opens his mouth to tell him that no, this conversation wasn’t going to come up anytime soon, but then he just sighs and lets it go because he’s given the guy as hard of a time as it is. He takes a few steps forward until he’s in front of the bed and sits down on the edge of it.

Brushes a few tentative fingers over soft black tufts of hair because he’s not sure if Sousuke will welcome the touch now, so quickly after that little squabble. Sousuke though, in a show of maturity, (Rin at sixteen would have stormed out of the room muttering angry curses if he’d been in Sousuke’s place) just pushes his head into the touch and nuzzles into it. Rin thinks he resembles a lion, sprawled lazily all over his bed and eyes cracked open just the slightest bit. He slides a palm under Sousuke’s head and manoeuvres it onto his lap carefully.

And then continues carding his fingers through his hair in repetitive little motions. Sousuke’s watching him through barely open eyes.

“Hey Rin.” He murmurs.

“Hm?”

“Why’d you quit competitive swimming?”

Rin’s fingers freeze mid-motion because he sure as hell hadn’t been expecting that. He isn’t entirely sure if he’s ready to spill all the dirty details.

“I just don’t feel the same way about it anymore.” He cuts a long story short.

Sousuke hums a little thoughtfully in response.

“You know. I’m thinking of quitting competitive swimming too.” Rin’s shocked into silence for the second time in a minute.

“What? Why? But Haru said you hold the record for the junior category. You’re well on your way to getting scouted and going pro!” His voice comes out sounding a little frantic and he’s not sure if it’s because he’s genuinely worried about Sousuke letting go of something he loves because of a sour incident or two, or if it’s just Rin projecting his past desires and goals onto Sousuke now. He fervently hopes it’s the former.

“What would _Nanase_ know.” Sousuke’s voice goes hard. “What would he know.”

Rin’s taken aback at the animosity in his voice.

“What’s your deal with Haru?” He asks, more than a little confused, because it’s only then that he realizes he knows no more about their relationship other than the fact that they had come across each other in a swim meet.

“Not all of us have it as easy as Nanase, Rin. He’s got all the talent in the world, and he doesn’t want to make use of it. All that potential gone to waste.” He heaves a frustrated breath and continues.

“I haven’t gotten where I am now because of a whim or a fancy. I worked my ass off for it. For eight years.  It’s never been as easy for me as it has been for _him_.”

“Some of us actually have to work to earn our medals.” He finishes, and closes his eyes again. His breathing is a little irregular.

Rin is surprised at hearing the vehemence in his voice, but he thinks he can understand. He remembers clearly, his own frustration at Haru’s nonchalance about everything competitive. How easily he’d beaten Rin out at the high school regionals, even after Rin had spent six days out of seven in the pool and the gym, kicking through the water and heaving up weights until he hadn’t been able to tell up from down. Remembers the resentment and anger that had welled up hot and liquid in him at everything Haru was, everything he’d stood for.

But he understands Haru now. He wishes it would’ve had come earlier; he can’t do anything about that now though. He can only move forward and try to mend the relationships that’d been frayed to the edges by his refusal to understand, by the way his ambition had blinded him to almost everything else.

Rin doesn’t want Sousuke to make all the wrong decisions, doesn’t want to let him nurture the resentment and anger within himself until he’s just a shell of who he’d been before. He licks his lips and starts.

“Haru’s a good swimmer. One of the best even. And he’s chosen not to go competitive because that’s just not what he wants. He wouldn’t be happy doing that. And that’s what matters in the end, doesn’t it?” He taps at Sousuke’s chin once.

“But Sousuke you know what? You’re just as good a swimmer as him, probably even better. And you’d be a hit if you went pro. But if you’ve lost your passion for it, well, then you should drop it and find something else to do. Something you love.”

Sousuke’s eyes crack open just a smidgen and he looks like he’s in deep thought about something.

“I can’t tell. If I’ve really lost my love for it, or if I’m just frustrated because I’ve been in this slump for too long.” Troubled little creases form on his forehead again and Rin leans down to kiss them because they make Sousuke look more tired and resigned than any sixteen year old has the right to be. Sousuke sighs when his lips brush across the skin there and his hands come up to grip Rin’s wrists loosely from where they’re hovering above him. He encircles the width of one easily with a thumb and an index finger and rubs over the papery, white skin on the inside of it.

Rin thinks for a moment.

“You can turn me down if I’m assuming too much, but how about we go to the pool together one of these days? No times, no pressure, nothing. We just swim.”

Sousuke’s eyes light up a little at the suggestion and Rin’s not sure if it’s at the idea of spending more time with him or if it’s at the opportunity to swim freely and without anyone’s expectant and appraising eyes on him. He feels a little twinge in his chest: how long had it been since he’d swam for himself, in the name of leisure, instead of just being under tremendous pressure to beat his own times and bring glory to his school? From the weary look in his eyes from before, Rin thinks that it must have been way too long.

“Yeah. That’d be great.” He smiles and lifts himself up with hands on the sheets to kiss Rin slowly. Rin sighs into the kiss and after a few seconds, Sousuke nudges his nose into the soft skin beside his ear and kisses the spot wetly. It makes him shiver.

He feels it acutely when the tip of his nose and his lips trail down from his ear to his jaw and then skim over his neck. And he certainly can’t help a little helpless noise from escaping when the wetness of Sousuke’s bottom lip catches and drags over where the pulse is pounding in his neck; that’s the cue for him to press a palm against Sousuke's chest and shove him down.

Sousuke's arms give out and he falls back into his lap, the air leaving his lungs in a surprised “whumph”. Rin can’t help but laugh as he watches him lie there with his head in Rin’s lap, big blue eyes wide and stunned.

“ _That_ decision still stands by the way.” He adds, and watches Sousuke’s brows dip in disappointment.

His phone goes off then though, and Rin digs into the pocket of his shorts to feel around for it. Sousuke’s hand brushes against the bare skin of his waist when his Henley lifts up and Rin shoots him a little warning stare when his fingers drift up and follow the knobs of his spine through the thin material. Sousuke just shrugs a little innocently from where his torso is sprawled over Rin’s thighs.

It’s his little sister. And _oh,_ it’s the tenth tomorrow. Gou is long due for a visit. He apologizes to Sousuke and takes the call. Gou chatters to him happily about the happenings at university in the past few weeks and Rin smiles because he can read the excitement, plain and clear in her voice. She mentions that she’s signed up to be a manager of the swim team at her uni too, and Rin _really_ isn’t surprised. He mouths ‘little sister’ to Sousuke when he stares up at him curiously and Sousuke just laughs and nods in understanding.

“Onii-chan? Who’s that? Are the others there too? Oh, I can’t wait to see all of you tomorrow!”

Rin makes a noise of agreement. And then suddenly remembers something from the other day. It’s been niggling at his consciousness for a while now. A very hyperactive, golden-eyed problem.

“Hey, Gou.” He waits for her questioning hum. “Anyone been bothering you lately?”

“Bothering me? No, not at all. Why, is there something wrong?” Gou sounds puzzled and a note of worry is starting to creep into her voice. Rin is quick to reassure her that nothing’s wrong.

“If there was some guy bothering you.. Or if you, you know, if you _liked_ someone.” He winces at how difficult it is for him to get the second part out.  “You’d tell me right?”

“Of course, Onii-chan. You know I don’t keep secrets from you and Mama.” Gou’s voice is so honest and sincere that Rin feels a little twinge of guilt in remembrance of the countless secrets he’s kept from them both. He’s not going to hide this _thing_ with Sousuke from his sister too, he decides.

“That’s good. And Gou.” He hesitates, and continues in a smaller voice. “There’s someone else I’d like you to meet too.” He meets blue eyes and watches them widen in happy realization.

Gou sounds delighted to hear that. She hasn’t picked up on the fact that it might not be a run-of-the-mill friend, but that’s probably because he hasn’t let anything in his voice give it away.

“Oh, does he have nice muscles?” That’s Gou’s primary concern, of course.

Rin lets his eyes trail over the hard line of muscles on Sousuke’s abdomen from where his polo tee has ridden up again and then at the way his sleeves look about ready to give out where his biceps are pressing into them.

“Uh.” He says, licking his lips and forcing his eyes back to Sousuke’s now-amused ones, because _sixteen_ damn it, and he needed to take his own damn advice. “Yeah, you could say that. Not that it’s any of _your_ concern, Gou.”

He can hear the pout in Gou’s voice when she speaks next.

“Onii-chan never lets me have any fun!”

He enquires a little more about his Mum because he hasn’t spoken to her in more than a week now and then about Gou’s own modules in university. Everything seems to be going alright for her and relief settles in his chest. He feels a little more at ease knowing that his baby sister is fine where she is, hundreds of miles away from Rin and growing up faster than he had ever wanted her to. Growing up without Rin watching her back, without him being there to buy her ice-cream when she’s had a bad day, to ward off pesky boys who trail behind her. It's all part of growing up though. Rin just hopes that they don't grow apart in the process. He isn't going to let that happen.

When he hangs up the phone with a sigh, Sousuke seems to sense the tinge of melancholy in it, and he nods at Rin.

“They grow up fast, don’t they?” His eyes are so understanding and his tone so mature that Rin nearly forgets that he’s actually two or three years younger than Gou herself.

He smiles back at him anyway and brushes the spiky strands of Sousuke’s fringe back from his forehead.

“Yeah, they really do.”

They fall into conversation easily. Rin finds out that Sousuke’s from the same hometown as him, but that he’d gone away to board in a school in Tokyo that’s renowned as a swimming powerhouse. Finds out that his parents have been worried about how tired and disinterested he seems to be about swimming and school and _everything_ lately. He has a little brother who’s in elementary school, and he feels guilty about being so caught up in his own troubles that he doesn’t spend nearly enough time with him.

Rin listens carefully as he talks, interjects every now and then to tell him more about himself. Sousuke’s head and shoulders are a warm, heavy weight on his lap and even though his back is starting to hurt from staying in this position for too long, he’s careful to hold himself still, lest he disrupt the comfortable atmosphere.

Rin isn’t sure how long they stay there, talking about everything and anything that comes to mind, trading affectionate little glances when silence falls upon them. He hardly notices when the hall clock chimes to indicate that it’s four in the evening and when Sousuke takes his leave, he walks him out to the gates.

The house is empty when he comes back and he allows himself to heave a loud, content sigh into the silence. He heads right back to his bed and flops onto it. It still smells like Sousuke. Rin reaches for the iPod, because that’s just how much of a loser he really is. Scrolls to the damn playlist and plugs his earphones in.

He sings along to Michael Bublé _,_ his own voiceloud and pitchy, drowning out the melody completely, and it feels wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDGnfT_OaCM, yeah you can probably tell that I've been listening to this way too much. Sorry for this long filler chap, it got a little out of hand.
> 
> Next: Gou meets the boys + SouRin swimming drama
> 
> I'm afraid the updates won't be as frequent from now (not that they're very frequent now at all, oops), because term is starting :( I'm so sorry about that. I promise I'll see this fic through, really.
> 
> Sousuke's outfit reference: http://37.media.tumblr.com/6eeda0463c24991b8325ead11f57c6f0/tumblr_n9kathofpr1qfzlwxo1_400.jpg


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Gou.” He starts, and his sister must have picked up the tinge of uncertainty colouring his tone because she tilts her head curiously.
> 
> “Remember how I said there’s someone I want you to meet?” Gou nods and Rin fixes his eyes on the fluffy lining of jacket at the back of her neck, watches the little strands sway as he rubs the towel over her hair. “Well, they’re not exactly a friend.”

It’s become somewhat of a habit for Rin to slip a hand under his pillow and feel out for his phone upon waking every morning. Which is surprising. He’s never been the sort to worry about missed messages or calls because unless they were informing him that someone was dying or dead, they could damn well wait until it was at least seven in the morning. Well, that was before Sousuke.

Now, even before his eyes have even opened fully, he’s already got his hands on the cool metal and he tries once, to unlock his phone. _Incorrect code_ , it says, when he presses at the numbers in the lock screen a little lethargically. He sighs and sits up, blinking the sleep out of his eyes and trying to clear the haze in his mind. And tries again.

This time, the bright red home screen pops up and a few lines of text inform him that there’re no new notifications. He jabs at the messages icon anyway. Sousuke’s name is right at the top of his conversations list, from last night when he’d stewed in his own apprehensiveness and dawdled for ten minutes before finally sending off a simple ‘Goodnight’ to him. And then spent the next four minutes vibrating anxiously on the bed, wondering if Sousuke might already be sleeping or if that message had been too soon, or maybe too little.

It’s only starting to dawn on Rin now how much of a worrying, diffident fool he turns into when it comes to matters of the heart. He’s not sure if he likes this side of himself, thinks that it might be bad for his blood pressure in the long-run, all this needless anxiety. Over a couple of text messages.

There’re no new texts from Sousuke but he determinedly ignores the way his stomach swoops a little in disappointment because he’s better than this. And then he realizes with a jolt that it’s a Monday. It’s recess week for Rin, but Sousuke must be getting ready for school, or maybe he’s already on his way there.

A tinge of discomfort comes over him at the thought of Sousuke in his pristine winter uniform, walking to school surrounded by his group of friends and deflecting girls who surely would come up and ask to eat lunch with him, but he knows he’s just going to have to get used to it because in a couple of months, when Sousuke’s entrance exam preparations and career path counselling start, Rin is going to be hit right in the face with a massive reminder that he’s actually dating a sixteen year old.

 A little voice in his head whispers that he’s already assuming too much; tells him that he and Sousuke might very well be estranged, or worse, strangers, by that time. He tamps it down stubbornly.

The thoughts are enough to remove the little bounce in his step from last night anyway, when he’s making his way to the washroom to brush his teeth.

In the midst of squeezing a glob of toothpaste onto the bristles, his mind finally puts two and two together because if it’s Monday today, then Gou’s also due for a visit. He sticks the brush into his mouth and then hastily backs into the room to check the time on his alarm clock. Eight. Gou would be at the train station at nine. No morning run today then, he thinks, and is a little relieved because his limbs feel oddly heavy and he’s not exactly in the mood for chirping birds and fresh sea air and mostly _people_ other than Gou.

The thought of meeting his baby sister after two months lifts his spirits though and he’s buzzing with energy by the time he steps out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. Thoughts of Sousuke and when he’ll be seeing him next are pushed to the back of his mind as he ponders about whether he should take Gou into town for lunch or bring her back to the apartment, and if he should be giving Haru and Makoto a call sometime soon.

Gou had missed them the last time she’d come (she’d called them up later and given them a good tongue-lashing for choosing to sign up for the _one_ uni camp that had coincided with her visit here) and Rin knows that she’s been looking forward to catching up with them for a long time now. Makoto, Haru and himself haven’t been able to go back for a couple of months now and Rin still feels guilty about it. Vows to book three train tickets back to Iwatobi the moment their uni announces the exact dates of their next break.

Rei’s bedroom door is closed when he finally steps out, clad in skinny jeans, a grey tank and Sousuke’s hoodie thrown on over that (it’s become a staple). He doesn’t want to wake him with unnecessary clanging, so he opts for a simple breakfast of orange juice (straight from the carton) and cereal and soy milk, and then makes sure to toss the empty juice box into the chute once he’s done, just in case Rei gets on his case about that _again_.

He still has time to spare, it’s not even half past eight yet and the walk to the train station takes barely ten minutes. Rin remembers how Gou’s train had arrived half an hour earlier than expected the last time she’d come to visit though, and he decides to get going.

Since there’s more time now, he cracks open a can of minced tuna and spreads the brown mush over a styrofoam plate. Then fills a little bowl with milk from the fridge and heads out. He makes sure to keep his eyes on the bowl as he gingerly makes his way down the stairs, lest the milk spills over.

The air is brisk with the approaching chill of winter and Rin finds Mackerel and her little sister huddling inside the makeshift shelter (a worn out cardboard box set out there by him a few weeks ago). They mewl excitedly as he approaches, and leap out to paw at his calves. When Mackerel nips just a little too hard in all her eagerness, he stumbles at the sting and makes a warning noise.

“Don’t blame me if everything spills. No breakfast for you then.”

He crouches to set out the bowl and plate and watches fondly as the little critters trip over their own stubby legs in their hurry to get to the food. He leaves them, because they’re evidently hungry and Rin knows getting scratches and cuddles is hardly a priority for them right now.

He makes sure to turn left at the gates instead of right, as he usually does, and then shoves his hands into the pockets of the hoodie and gears himself up for the walk in the cold. His fingers drift to his back pockets almost instinctively and he sighs and pulls out his phone. Taps at the messages icon and opens up Sousuke’s name in his conversations.

He doesn’t know if it’s the novelty of it all, if this is how all relationships (could this even be referred to as one?) start off, the eagerness and desire to see that person, to talk to that person, burning bright and insistent in your chest until you eventually give in. It’s that exact feeling that tugs at his fingers like puppet strings, makes them dance across the keyboards, spelling out the words that’ve been on his mind since he’d stirred awake this morning.

‘Morning,’ he types, and then hesitates before adding a little smiley because that sounded way too brusque, upon closer inspection.

‘Pay attention in class!’ Rin taps out, and then hits send.

He resolutely shoves the phone back into his pocket, vowing not to take it out for the next five minutes at least. Then fishes it out the very next second to confirm that it’s on vibration mode and not silent. Rin drags a weary palm down from his forehead to cover his eyes because he’s an utterly besotted, hopeless fool.

The green signboard coming up announces that he should take a left at the fork to get to the train station and he obliges, keeping a look out for cars coming in as he jogs across the narrow street and turns around the corner. The vague shape of the train station comes into view in the distance and Rin brings his palms up to cup around his mouth and breathes out, trying to ward off the morning chill.

When his phone vibrates once in his pocket, he perks up. But then it continues vibrating, and Rin’s heart starts thumping when he realizes it’s a call and not a text. Couldn’t be Haru or Makoto because they were seldom up this early on break days. He reaches for his phone and flips it around to look at the display. Yamazaki Sousuke.

“Fuck.” He mutters to himself, giddy with disbelief and excitement all at once. He tries to tamp down the smile that’s starting to tug at the corners of his lips, but just like the dozen times before, it slips out anyway and he’s so _helpless_ against this.

He presses answer and holds the phone tight to his ear to hear Sousuke over the wind that’s picking up.

“Hey.” He can hear the smile plain and clear in his own voice.

“Hey yourself.”

Rin laughs because this all seems very familiar and the ball of nerves that’s been building up inside his chest breaks loose and the tension fades away.

“You at school? Should you really be answering calls?”

Sousuke takes a few seconds to answer; it sounds like he’s shifting the phone around. It’s only then that Rin picks up the chatter in the background.

“I’m walking to school. Almost there, actually.” There’s a pause. Sousuke’s voice goes a little soft and low. “Wanted to hear your voice before I went in.”

Rin scrunches his eyes shut and tugs at the strands of his fringe in embarrassment because no matter how many times he hears those words, his chest always tightens at the sound of them. He wonders when he’ll get used to them, _if_ he ever will.

“Oh.” He responds, trying to keep the ridiculous excitement from bleeding into his voice. Rubs his hand against the back of his neck. “Y-yeah. Me too.”

Sousuke just huffs out a vaguely amused laugh and he probably _knows,_ knows just how his words had affected Rin, that smug little shit. Rin can’t even bring himself to be annoyed.

“I’m picking up my sister in a bit. Remember I told you she’s staying for a day or two?”

“That’s great, Rin. Have a good time with her.” Sousuke sounds genuinely pleased for him.

Rin wedges the phone between his ear and shoulder and twiddles his thumbs nervously.

“Remember how I said we should swim sometime? Do you wanna do it today? I’m gonna be having lunch with my sister and then I’ll let her catch up with Makoto and Haru. So maybe after your lessons end? Gou and I will be passing by your school on the way to their apartment anyway.”

Rin thinks that this way, he could explain the situation to Gou and let her have a glimpse of Sousuke too, because he just knows that she’d be on his case for the rest of the year if he let her leave without introducing her to the guy.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Sousuke’s voice is low and clear above the countless indistinguishable ones in the background. “Got a council meeting that ends at 2 today. So maybe around then?”

Rin makes a noise of agreement. Then startles when there’s a loud whoop from the other line.

“Oi, oi, Sousuke, holding out on us? What’s with that disgusting smile on your face?” A nasally voice pipes in, loud and close to the receiver and almost immediately, curious murmuring erupts in the background.

“Sousuke-kun.. Has a girlfriend, perhaps?” It’s a female voice this time, sweetly pitched and more than a little curious. He thinks he picks up a trace of underlying irritation in it, though.

There’s another round of catcalling and whooping and Rin hears the thwack of someone landing a playful hit on Sousuke.

“Answer the lady, why don’t you _Sousuke-kun_. _”_ It’s the boy with the nasally voice again and he draws out Sousuke’s name a little teasingly. “That your new girlfriend?”

Sousuke heaves a long-suffering sigh and Rin can’t help but snort in amusement, even as his throat tightens with nervous anticipation.

He waits with baited breath for Sousuke’s answer.

“It’s not really any of your business.” Rin hears first, but then something fond and warm creeps into Sousuke’s voice. “But yeah, yeah, something like that.”

There’s an eruption of congratulatory noise at that, but Rin barely hears anything. Sousuke’s words from a few seconds ago are playing over and over in his head. ‘Something like that’, he’d said. His chest floods with delight and a soft, involuntary noise of surprise escapes his throat.

Sousuke laughs a little uneasily on the other line and he must have separated himself from his group of friends because it’s quieter now.

“Sorry.” His voice is a little tense. “That you had to hear that.”

Rin realizes that Sousuke must have taken his silence as a sign of his discomfort and he hastens to dispel the notion.

“Haven’t even taken me out to dinner once and I’m already your girlfriend, huh?” He teases, hoping the ridiculous smile he’s sporting right now won’t be too obvious in his voice.

Sousuke laughs again, and this time, relief tinges the sound.

“Is that all I have to do, then? For that to happen? Take you out to dinner?” His voice dips low towards the end of the sentence and Rin’s throat goes dry.

They’re flirting, they’re actually _flirting_ , and his cheeks are hot now, because he’d never thought he’d be one of _those_ people, but it comes so naturally when he’s with Sousuke.

“Big talker, aren’t you?” He lets his own voice go a little husky.  “Dinner first, we’ll discuss the rest later.”

The line crackles with the amused breath Sousuke lets out. And then:

“Oi, Sousuke, let’s get going. You can swoon into the phone all you want during lunch.” Sousuke sighs again, but this time it’s a little apologetic.

Rin cuts in before he can say anything.

“You should get going. I’ll see you later in the afternoon, yeah?”

The red concrete structures of the train station are almost upon him now, and he too, should be going anyway. Their little conversation has done more than enough to warm him to the very core, and Rin runs his tongue over his teeth absently, still finding it hard to believe that he’s going to be seeing Sousuke for the fourth day in a row; the nerves and excitement that bloom within him at the thought of that are frankly ridiculous. And _he’s_ supposed to be the adult in this relationship, he thinks a little wryly.

“Yeah, Rin. I’ll see you.” Sousuke’s tone is easy, and his voice happy.

Rin waits for the click that signals that the call is over and then pulls the floppy hood of the jacket over his head, ducking into the station. He checks the time in his watch again, and then walks over to the boards that have the train timing updates flashing on them. Gou’s train is due in ten minutes.

He slots a couple of coins into the vending machine nearby, grabs a soda, and then makes his way leisurely to Platform 4. His insufferable mind broadcasts a re-run of the conversation from before, and he sips at the cool liquid to hide the smile that’s threatening to resurface, lest the old couple strolling past think him a little loopy.

In no time, the whistling of an incoming train gets louder, and Rin perks up, tossing the almost-finished soda into the trash and making his way to the front of the platform, just up to where the yellow lines warn him to stay behind them. 

When the train comes to a stop and the doors open, he starts looking out for bright magenta hair to match his own and an even brighter smile. He doesn’t have to wait long. Gou steps out three doors away from him, and she spots him the exact moment he does her. There aren’t many people on the train this early, so Rin easily weaves past the trickle of tired-looking passengers and makes his way to her.

Gou meets him halfway, and she’s a breath of fresh air to look at, amongst the dull crowd. Her hair is put up into her customary ponytail and her beautiful eyes are shining with excitement.

“Onii-chan!”

When she flies at him, her long, white skirt ballooning out on either sides of her, he catches her with steady arms and holds her at arm’s length to just look at her. He’s missed her. Missed her a lot. He hadn’t had time to think about home a lot during the past few busy weeks, but thoughts about how Gou’s doing, if she’s made new friends, if she’s _happy_ , they’re ingrained into Rin’s mind; he thinks it’s just part and parcel of being a big brother.

Gou breaks free from his grip and hugs him again. She’s warm and small in his arms and she smells so much like familiarity and home that Rin feels a tiny prickling in his eyes. He blinks it away and bends his head to bury his face in her shoulder and squeeze her to him.

They break apart after a couple of seconds and Gou smiles at him, big and easy and teasing.

“Don’t cry, Onii-chan.” She says, and Rin snorts and ruffles her hair, which elicits an indignant yelp. Gou bats his hand away and turns up her nose at him.

“Don’t mess up my hair!”

Rin laughs, drags a hand down her back and lets her loop her arm through his own and press herself close to his side. Contentment fills his chest and threatens to ooze out from every pore. He still misses his mother but Gou is fingers sticky with ice-cream, fighting for the remote to watch Power Rangers instead of Utena, long walks home from elementary school and uncomplicated, unconditional love.

Even when it seemed like no one had been on his side in the hellish times from a couple of years ago, when it felt like the entire world had been conspiring against him, Gou had never once given up on him. He feels a pang of regret at the way he’d treated her back then, when all she’d been trying to do was break the walls he’d built around himself and _understand_ her big brother once more, like she had when they were younger.

He can’t do anything about that, but he sure as hell can try to make up for the time lost by being an outstanding example of a brother now. Gou seems to have sensed the direction his thoughts are going in though, and she pinches the fleshiest part of his upper arm and giggles when he groans in pain.

“Did you change your cologne, Onii-chan? It smells good!”

Rin looks away a little embarrassedly because he hadn’t even dabbed on cologne this morning. She must be referring to the vague scent of mint drifting from the hoodie. He brushes the innocent question aside and starts drilling her with questions about her health and her friends and her classes.

Gou doesn’t seem to think much about the evasive behaviour and she just turns bright crimson eyes to him, her voice bubbling with excitement as she talks about how Hana-chan is coming back to Iwatobi for break the week after and how the swim team at her university is making quite a name for itself, especially after the recent preliminaries. Rin listens, but mostly just takes in the visage of her, looking happy and healthy.

The walk back to the apartment is a lot shorter and warmer than the journey from home had been, mostly because of Gou’s enthusiastic chattering and inquisitive questions and the warm line of her by his side. When they step into the gates and head for the stairs, Gou immediately spots Mackerel and her sister lurking in the shadowy recesses of the stairwell.

She makes a beeline for them and doles out a couple of scratches under their chins, which they accept with pleased, loud purrs. They look satiated and sleepy and the meal must have done them some good because they’re no longer shivering from the cold. When Gou turns sly, pleased eyes to him after taking in the overturned bowl and the styrofoam plate with bits of tuna clinging onto it, he just huffs and turns his face away.

“Still feeding them, huh?” She beams at him and her eyes go all soft, and Rin is so weak against that look. He slings an arm around her neck, pulls her into his side and starts bounding up the stairs, laughing when she squeals at him to either go slower or let go of her first.

When they reach the apartment, Rin pulls out the keys and goes to unlock the gate. It’s already open. Which could only mean one thing. He knows there’s probably a long-suffering expression on his face when he turns to look at Gou. Gou looks positively delighted though, and she turns the doorknob and barges in with no preamble.

“Rei-kun, Nagisa-kun!” Her voice echoes in the living space and sure enough, a blonde whirlwind comes right at them. Rin moves out of the way and goes to stand a couple of steps away from the two of them, just in case.

Nagisa latches onto Gou’s forearms and shakes her about excitedly and Gou laughs and pulls him into a brief hug.

“Gou-chan!”

“It’s _Kou!_ ”

“Nagisa! Don’t be so rough with her.” Rin interjects, when Nagisa completely disregards her outraged cry and pulls her along almost violently to the sofa. Gou tosses a fond look over her shoulder at him and shakes her head though.

“Onii-chan, I’ve had much worse than this. I did join the touch rugby team for a while there, didn’t I?”

Rin shudders; just thinking about strangers tugging and shoving at his sister doesn’t go down well with him. Thank heavens she’d gotten over that phase of hers.

Nagisa and Gou start chatting up a storm, and Rin thinks it’s amazing how they’ve really only met three or four times and they’re already able to click so well. Nagisa likes to tease Gou terribly and Gou inevitably gets riled up, and it’s safe to say their first meeting, much like Rin’s own with Nagisa, hadn’t gone swimmingly. But beyond all of that, Gou and Nagisa are both the sort of people who’re cheery and easy to be around, at least on the surface, and if Rin leaves them together, they could probably go on talking for hours.

He looks back one last time at them curled up on the sofa, Nagisa reaching out to toy with Gou’s hair. It’s quite a bit longer now, and Rin reminds himself to buy her a pretty ribbon before she leaves. And then walks over to knock at Rei’s door lightly, just in case he’s still asleep. He’s not. The door opens almost immediately, and Rei steps out, fresh-faced and excited.

“Rei-kun!” Gou exclaims from the couch, and Rei dips his head in a ridiculously formal bow.

“Gou-san.” He says, adjusting his glasses, and Rin just knows he’s trying for a composed and cool tone, the little tryhard.

He slaps Rei upside the head lightly.

“What was that for, Rin-san?” Rei sounds miffed, and surprisingly, he retaliates, pulling at Rin’s hoodie sleeve until he very nearly loses balance and is forced to clutch onto his shoulders to right himself. He gains his bearings, snorts, and then slaps a palm onto the middle of his back, shoving him towards the couch. Rei is the one who stumbles forward this time and he aims a baleful glare at him over his shoulder.

“It’s just Gou, you donut.”

Rei’s eyebrows draw together in irritation and he looks like he wants to comment on the creativity (or lack thereof) of that particular insult, but he just huffs and joins Nagisa and Gou and the couch, and Rin takes that as his cue to head to the kitchen and whip up some blueberry pancakes, fluffy and soft and just the way Gou likes them. His pancakes will never ever match up to their Mum’s delicious, otherworldly ones, but he’s sure Gou will appreciate them nonetheless.

By the time he’s done with flipping a seemingly countless amount of pancakes and then sliding them onto ceramic plates, the chatter seems to have died down a little and he moves closer to pick up on the lowered tones coming from the living room. They’re trying to keep it hush-hush, he realizes, with not a little amount of amusement. Unfortunately for Nagisa and Rei, the word hush-hush has never quite been in their dictionary.

He picks up “happier” and “doing well” from Rei and then hears Gou’s relieved sigh. They’re talking about him. Rin would usually feel a little peeved about people discussing his emotional well-being and repressed issues behind his back, but these are three people who’ve seen him at his worst, whom he knows only have his best interests at heart. He trusts them, and more than anything, he’s touched that they’re still looking out for him collectively.

Which is why he clears his throat and deliberately lets his feet thump and drag on the floor as he makes his way into the dining area, balancing a plate stacked high with hot, sweet-smelling pancakes on one hand and a jug of orange juice in the other. Predictably, the three of them do a terrible job of pretending like they hadn’t just been having a secret meeting ; Rin actually feels a little embarrassed for them. Gou and Nagisa turn wide, shifty eyes to him and Rei just coughs uncomfortably and gets out of his seat to help him with the food.

Gou digs in almost immediately. She must have been starving, Rin realizes. The journey from Iwatobi would have easily been more than three hours, and she must’ve started in the middle of the night, when it’d been freezing. She hasn’t complained even once about the long, tiring trips she makes to come and visit him and this just increases his resolve to make the trip back home with Makoto and Haru sometime soon.

He chews slowly, watching as Gou fields excited questions from Nagisa about if any of the boys in the uni swim team she’s managing have caught her eye. And then smiles to himself as she tries to explain wryly to Rei that no, they didn’t actually have a day in their swimming camp dedicated solely to theory-based learning. Predictably, Rei looks outraged at that.

The sticky, store-bought maple syrup smears over her chin and upper lip as she talks and eats at the same time, and Rin sighs, pulling out a tissue from the pack that’s lying about and then grips her chin and holds it still. He wipes off the mess carefully, making an irritated noise when Gou shakes her head enthusiastically in reply to Nagisa’s question and dislodges his hand. Then, he crumples up the tissue and tosses it aside. Gou barely even notices.

Rei does though, and he’s looking between the two of them with a peculiar glint in his eye. A little smile is twitching at the corners of his lips.

‘What?’ Rin mouths to him, and arches an eyebrow, because his curiosity is piqued now.

Rei shakes his head and slants him a knowing glance. He brings his thumb up and makes a swiping motion at the corner of his mouth and Rin is confused for a moment, before he realizes that Rei is pointing out a smear of syrup on his own face. He flushes a little and rubs at his lips with the back of a hand.

Looks like his sister and himself are very much on the same wavelength still.

After breakfast, they pile into the couch again after turning on the television, Gou squeezed into Rin’s side, with the stretch of his arm pillowing her cheek. She looks sleepy and content and all of twelve, instead of the nineteen she really is, and Rin can’t help but smooth soft, red hair away from her forehead. She lets out a tiny, pleased sigh in response and he reaches for the remote to lower the volume.

Rei and Nagisa are talking among themselves in hushed tones too, and he watches Rei protest as Nagisa swings both his legs onto his lap and lets his feet dangle off the edge. How two grown boys can manage to fit into one half of this modest sofa, he’ll never quite know, but these two have pulled it off with a bit of intelligent manoeuvring and a _lot_ of contortionism.

They watch penguins and seals butt at each other playfully and cats and dogs cuddle up to one another on the Discovery Channel and the conversation between all four of them flows easily. Rin takes the time to ask Gou about their Mum; if she’s doing alright, if she’s still tidying up Rin’s room out of sheer habit, and of course, the ones that go unspoken, Gou still understands. If she’s doing alright all by her lonesome, especially now that both of them have moved away from home for uni.

He lets his own eyes drift closed, the soft sounds of the TV documentary and Gou’s even, slow breathing in his ears.  Strands of her hair tickle his nose when he rests his chin on her head and he bats them away and curls around her until everything’s warm and cozy.

Rin hears the click of a phone camera going off and he just _knows_ that it’s Nagisa getting one on him, but it sounds distant in his daze and he’s too content and comfortable where he is to bother cracking open his eyes to chide the brat.  (He’s probably going to go waving it around to Makoto and Haru and reiterating what they already know: that Rin is just a huge sap when it comes to his baby sister.)

When he wakes, it’s to a mouthful of soft, fluffy hair. It tastes faintly of the jasmine from the packet drink that he likes and he splutters and brings his fingers up to brush it away. His chest vibrates, and Gou must have either already been up and staying still for his benefit because she’s giggling. Rin musses up her hair and then nudges her off of him so that he can stand and stretch his limbs out.

It’s noon; they must’ve been out for two hours at least. Gou drags her duffle bag off the coffee table and makes her way into his room and when Rin trails behind her and passes by Rei’s room, he can hear a vicious game of Mario Kart going on inside, punctuated by increasingly frequent thumps and Nagisa’s victorious cries.

He points Gou to the shower, pulls up a chair by the desk and dials Makoto’s number. Then changes his mind and decides to annoy Haru a little. He scrolls down to Haru’s contact information (he hadn’t yet memorized his number only because the guy barely ever answers anyone’s messages or calls anyway) and taps the call button.

Makoto picks up anyway. Of _course_.

He chats with Makoto a little (he’s trying his hand at a simple omelette and Haru’s in the bath, naturally) and then brings up Gou’s visit. There’s a hiss of something liquid splashing onto a heated pan (and probably onto his hand too) and Makoto yelps. Rin winces in sympathy when Makoto barrels on in an excited voice about meeting up with Gou, because he picks up on the pain he’s trying to mask.

By the time Gou’s out, all bundled up in a fur-lined jacket and her cosiest pair of sweatpants, he’s ended the call, promising to bring Gou over to their place in an hour or two. He makes his way over to the bed, watching as Gou brings the towel down over her long, wet hair, and then motions for her to take a seat beside him.

He takes the towel from her hands and gathers up the thick mess of her hair in a loose hold before getting to work. The scent of aloe vera is strong in the room, and of course Gou would have brought her own shampoo over. She’s just as fussy as he remembers. As he towels her damp hair, he gathers up his courage and opens his mouth to bring up the issue he’s been dancing around since morning.

“Gou.” He starts, and his sister must have picked up the tinge of uncertainty colouring his tone because she tilts her head curiously.

“Remember how I said there’s someone I want you to meet?” Gou nods and Rin fixes his eyes on the fluffy lining of jacket at the back of her neck, watches the little strands sway as he rubs the towel over her hair. “Well, they’re not exactly a friend.”

“Not.. a friend?” Gou sounds confused. “A classmate then?”

“Not really. A little more than that.” He scratches at the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“A little more than that..” She repeats. And then whirls around to face him. Her wet hair slaps Rin in the face with the abrupt movement and he flinches back, but not before catching the frighteningly intense look in her eyes.

“Onii-chan!” She exclaims. “So that’s why you sounded so funny on the phone yesterday. It’s a girl, isn’t it? You’ve gotten a girlfriend!”

Her eyes are shiny and wide and boring into his own and Rin almost wants to play the entire thing off as a joke and just flop back onto the bed. Let things go as they had been going thus far. But he meets his sister’s earnest gaze and decides that he’s not going to keep things from her anymore. He’s done enough of that.

“It’s not a _girlfriend_.” He says, voice small, and Gou’s mouth forms a little moue as she thinks.

“Not a girlfriend. Not a..” Her eyes flare wide open. “Not a girlfriend. That’s right, you did mention a ‘he’ when we talked yesterday. A.. boyfriend then?”

Rin bites his lower lip and drags it into his mouth to chew on it. He feels on edge and there’s a ball of anxiety lodged stubbornly in his chest. He’s not surprised that Gou has picked up on it fairly quickly, but then again, his sister has always known him the best. He just hopes it’ll stay that way, even after this.

He doesn’t realize that he’s shifted his gaze to the restlessly twitching fingers on his thigh until Gou taps at his chest to get his attention. Rin hesitates. Drags his gaze up the soft grey of her sweatpants and then the fur of her jacket until he meets her gaze. The warmth he finds in her eyes knocks the breath right out of his chest in a sigh of utter relief.

“Gou..”

“Did you really think so little of me?” Her words make guilt rise up in him, but her tone is sincere and she’s reaching out to shove at his chest a little. “So much, that you were afraid to tell me that?”

Rin shakes his head wordlessly, because that couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Onii-chan’s happiness is the most important thing to me. I’ve never really gone a day without worrying about you, you know?” Her voice wobbles a little at that. But she clenches her jaw, visibly steels herself and goes on, and the gesture is so similar to something Rin himself would do that he’s taken aback for a second.

“Gou..”

Gou’s expression brightens again though, and the shadows playing across the red of her eyes fade away.

“I’m so happy that you’re happy now, Onii-chan.”

Rin smiles back and ruffles her hair through the cotton of the towel. And then leans back warily when she brings her face up close to his own, an excited, unholy light in her eyes.

“So who is it? Is it someone from one of your classes?” Gou pauses. “A swimmer, maybe?” She sounds way too excited at that prospect.

He sighs wearily because the real hurdle has yet to come.

“It isn’t someone from my uni. But yes, he’s a swimmer.”  Gou lets out a triumphant noise at that. She’s probably picturing the deltoids and triceps in the palace of horror that’s her mind, at this very moment.

“Someone you met at a party?”

“No.”

“Makoto-senpai or Haruka-senpai’s friend, then?”

He shakes his head. A note of frustration has started to creep into Gou’s voice at the line of negative responses he’s been doling out and Rin’s mind starts whirring in renewed anxiety. Gou tilts a measuring glance at him then, though.

“Onii-chan.. If it’s not Haruka-senpai or Makoto-senpai’s _friend_.” She taps at her chin thoughtfully and then makes a soft sound of understanding. “I knew it! I had a hunch all along, but you guys always had the strangest, most complicated relationship, so I couldn’t be sure about it.”

Rin’s the one who’s confused now, and he tilts his head at her. Suspected all along? He’s not sure if they’re talking about the same thing anymore.

Gou nudges him with an elbow and winks.

“Oh, don’t be coy now! We’re going to see him after this, anyway, so you might as well spill.”

Rin’s mind reels, because he hadn’t told her that they’d be meeting Sousuke this afternoon. How had she even found out?

“How do you know that? I only told you that I’m taking you over to Makoto and Haru’s place!”

Gou’s eyebrows dip in confusion.

“That’s right.” She says. “Haruka-senpai’s apartment. We’re going to see Haruka-senpai, are we not? And Makoto-senpai of course, but..”

It dawns on Rin all at once what she’s implying. He can’t believe he hadn’t picked up on it earlier, what with Gou’s sly eyes and suggestive words.

He starts laughing, because he honestly doesn’t know what else to do.

Gou makes an indignant noise and socks him in the shoulder. Hard. That quells his laughter almost immediately because his baby sister packs one _hell_ of a punch. He thinks he understands now why she’s never had too much trouble keeping her numerous suitors at bay.

“Haru?” He asks. And snorts. “Seriously?” Maybe two years ago the idea might not have sounded as ridiculous or far-fetched as it does at this moment, but he’s a different person now and he can have a laugh about it if he wants to (without an ounce of self-pity or longing).

Gou pouts at him.

“Don’t be mean, Onii-chan. Haruka-senpai would be a perfectly good boyfriend.”

“I’m sure he would.” Rin replies, his tone more than a little dubious. “Not for me, though.”

“Gou.” He hesitates. “He’s younger than me. The guy I’m seeing.”

“Oh! Onii-chan, you bagged a cute freshman!”

Rin shakes his head a little morosely. It would’ve been so much easier if that’d been the case. Life seems to always throw a curveball at him though, he shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

“Not a freshman.”

Gou’s eyes widen.

“Oh my god! Then..” She bites her lip and looks at him for a second. “A high school student?”

Rin nods this time, watches her eyelashes flutter in surprise as she tries to collect herself. He anticipates her next question and beats her to it.

“Sixteen.” He sighs. “Well, he’s going to be seventeen soon.” His fingers clench as he waits for the shit to hit the fan.

Gou’s reaction is surprisingly tame though. She surveys him with serious eyes for a moment or two, and then closes them.

“Oh Onii-chan. You always make it more difficult for yourself, don’t you?” She doesn’t sound repulsed or disappointed though. There’s only a resigned sort of fondness in her voice.

“Yeah.” Rin agrees and grins at her in solidarity with her acknowledgement of his generally terrible life decisions.

“You can meet him later. His school is on the way to Makoto and Haru’s apartment.”

Gou perks up at that.

“Meeting Onii-chan’s high school boyfriend, huh? Count me in!”

“Oi! Don’t say it like that. Makes me sound like a creep!”

“Aren’t you one? Onii-chan likes his boys young, doesn’t he? Wonder what Mama will thin-“ She breaks out into helpless giggles when Rin attacks her sides, where he knows she’s most ticklish.

“Don’t- “ He huffs out, in the midst of grasping both of her wrists in a hand and using the other to jab at her ribs in quick little motions. “Don’t you dare tell Mom yet!”

Gou yelps and rips an arm away from his grip, scrambling away from him and then balling up the towel and sending it hurtling in the direction of his face. It lands with a solid thwack and Rin splutters and laughs even through the wet fabric in his mouth. 

 

-

 

As they’re walking across the street, the flickering green figure of the traffic light abruptly fades out and an ominous red man appears in his place. Rin grabs Gou’s  upper arm, ignoring her protests (I’m not twelve anymore, Onii-chan, stop embarrassing me!), and drags her the rest of the way across, only stopping when they’ve stepped onto the pavement on the other side.

Sousuke’s high school is visible from here. It’s a cluster of hulking buildings and sleek, elegant colours and Rin realizes almost immediately that it’s a private school. An elite one too, judging by the massive courtyard and the posh-looking cars parked by the driveway. He’d remembered vaguely that there’d been a prestigious school in this area, but when Sousuke had listed off the address and name, Rin hadn’t exactly made the connection.

He wonders now, because Sousuke must be have done exceptionally well in both his academics and his swimming in middle school to be able to attend this academy. There’s still a lot he doesn’t know about him and patience isn’t exactly one of his more practiced virtues, but for Sousuke, Rin is willing to wait it out.

Gou looks around the area curiously as they approach the steel gates and there’s a vaguely impressed look in her eyes.

“You said he’s a nationally ranked swimmer, but you left out the part about him being a genius, Onii-chan!”

Rin slants her an irritated sideway glance.

“I didn’t know that either, dummy.”

Both him and Gou try to make their presence inconspicuous, leaning against the walls flanking the gate and watching as streams of white-clad boys come pouring out of the gates. There’s a cacophony of noise and Rin watches Gou wince and plug her ears. The air smells like pheromones and sweat and _boy_ , and Rin subconsciously moves a little in front of his sister when he sees one of the punks aiming a look that lasts just a few seconds too long to be casual at her.

Gou doesn’t seem to notice, thank god, or he’d have to suffer a good scolding about how she’s a big girl now and can fight her own battles. She’s right, he knows, but the knowledge doesn’t make it any easier for him to wean himself off the habit of trying to pre-emptively protect her from the hurt that would surely follow if she got involved with anyone.

His head is actually beginning to hurt a little from all the noise and he puts his head down and pulls out his phone, sending off a quick text to Sousuke about their whereabouts. Then, he slumps against the wall and prepares himself to wait it out. His palms go a little clammy, and his pulse a little quicker, as they always do when he’s about to meet Sousuke.

Beside him, Gou looks a lot more enthusiastic about the entire ordeal. She drinks in the scene of the boys lining up for popsicles by the ice-cream stand and occasionally, her eyes go hazy in a way that means she’s spotted a spectacular set of guns on some kid. Some _high school kid_. At least she’s only looking though. Rin is the one who’s actually _dating_ one.

“Gou-san!” The excitable, loud voice cuts through the din and draws their attention from the students milling by the area.

His sister’s head whips to the side the same time his own does, and Rin can’t believe it. He really can’t. What were the chances?

Momotarou skids to a halt in front of them, his messenger bag vibrating as he bounces on his toes like an excited, golden-eyed puppy. He looks like he can’t believe his luck and Rin is half tempted to grab Gou and make a run for it. Tell Sousuke that they’ll meet him somewhere else. Anywhere but here. But Momotarou is already up in Gou’s space.

“Gou-san, Gou-san! This must be fate, Gou-san! That we bumped into each other here. How have you been?” He gives her a once-over, and Rin growls warningly in the back of his throat. He watches the brat swallow nervously and finally notice his presence.

“Rin-san!” His eyes widen and he takes a step back. Then, he takes in the both of them. Gou had needled at him to put on the fur-lined parka that they’d bought together. It’d become a little small on him after all the hours in the gym, but if his baby sister wanted to match outfits with him, who the hell was he to deny her.

“Mat-Matching outfits.” Momo’s eyes lift to Rin’s own frantically. “That’s.. so cute.”

Gou giggles from beside him. She doesn’t look particularly put off by the idiot’s over-eager puppy act, but she looks no more interested in him than in any of the guys milling around them and Rin heaves a tiny sigh of relief.

“Who the hell are you calling cute, you damn brat?” He’s not really mad, but it’s always fun to mess with the kid.

Momo waves his hands around to defuse the situation and swallows nervously again.

“Both of you- Uh, I mean not you, because that’d be a bit weird wouldn’t it? Maybe just Gou-sa-“ His voice cuts off when he spots the mean looking glint in Rin’s eye.

“What was that?” Rin asks, voice deceptively soft. He lets his mouth gape open just enough for a row of sharp teeth to peek out.

“N-Nothing. That is, uh, nothing at all!”

When Gou breaks out into another fit of giggles at the unattractive, panicked look on the kid’s face, Rin decides to cut him a break. He reaches out to ruffle his hair a little and cracks a smile.

“Relax, kid. I was just messing with you.” He lowers his voice. ”This time.”

Momotarou looks relieved at first, and then like Christmas has come early. He turns eager eyes to Gou again.

“Does that mean-“

“No.” Rin cuts him off. “No, that does not mean you can talk to my sister. Get those funny ideas out of your head.”

Momotarou pouts at him.

“She’s 19. We can talk about this when you’re not a brat anymore.” Or not ever, Rin adds in the privacy of his mind.

“But that’s unfair, Rin-san! How come you get to be all touch-feely with Yamazaki-senpai, then? He’s in high school too!”

Rin’s lost for words at that one and he gapes at him. But Gou’s protective instincts have clearly kicked in though and she levels an admonishing look at Momotarou.

“That’s because he’s Onii-chan.” She nods firmly, as if that’s an explanation all by itself. It might be for her, but Momotarou looks confused and even Rin is a little lost.

“O-kayy.” Momotarou seems to have enough sense not to stir the pot though and he brings his palm up to the back of his head in an endearingly awkward gesture.

“It’s so good to see you, again Gou-san. I’m not sure if you remember me, it’s okay if you don’t. But I hope we’ll meet again sometime.” His voice has lost some of the irritating whine to it, and he sounds almost uncertain. Rin can’t help but smile at the kid and all of his hundred and one quirks.

Gou nods at him and smiles back.

“Of course, um, Kintarou-kun, was it?” Rin can’t help his own amused snort of laughter. Of course.

Momotarou aims a baleful glare at Rin. But he stretches out his hand to Gou anyway, and beams at her.

“It’s Mikoshiba Momotarou!” Gou smiles tentatively, takes his hand and pumps it just once before letting it slip away.

They make idle chatter for the next few minutes. Then Rin feels the phone vibrate with a new text. He scrambles to open it, ignoring Gou and Momo as they shoot identical sly grins at him.

‘Walking out now, Rin.’ He closes the text window and slips the phone back into his jeans pocket.

And then straightens up, adjusts the collar of his parka and pats his hair down in simultaneous quick motions while Momotarou watches with an irritatingly knowing look in his eyes.

When he looks like he’s going to open his mouth though, Rin holds up a finger and glares at him.

“No. I don’t want to hear it.” Gou laughs, but he suspects she’s laughing _at_ him, not with him.

And then, he looks up, and his eyes lock onto black hair and white-clad shoulders.  Sousuke’s just stepping out of the gates and Rin probably isn’t in his line of vision yet. He’s clad in the pristine blazer characteristic of the academy and the neatly pressed white slacks.

Rin had been wondering last night if seeing Sousuke in his high school uniform would make him uncomfortable; remind him too much of the difference in age between them. But that’s hardly the case. Sousuke’s already electrifying presence is amplified by the way the high collar of the blazer is turned up and brushes against his neck almost regally and the sharp edges of the fabric make his shoulders look impossibly broad.

He knows he’s staring shamelessly by now, can tell by the way Gou’s giggling again and Momotarou is making gagging noises and affecting throwing up (He’ll take care of the little shit later).

Sousuke’s clearly in search of him, but he makes a turn left instead of right where Rin is standing and it’s then, that he notices someone else by Sousuke’s side.

It’s a kid with hair just a shade lighter than cotton candy, all fluffy and soft-looking. Rin can’t make out his features entirely from here, but he’s impossibly pretty and bubbly too, by the looks of it. He’s clinging on to Sousuke’s arm and speaking at him more than to him, and Rin’s mouth twitches a little at the obvious familiarity between the two of them.

Sousuke lets him. The pretty kid is tall, just a little short of Sousuke’s height and Rin shouldn’t be jealous, doesn’t want to be jealous, but Sousuke is carrying two bags instead of one and shoving at the kid and laughing, and something twinges deep in his chest. They look close. Comfortable. Rin isn’t sure if he makes Sousuke feel the same way.

The kid must have felt his gaze boring into the back of his head, because he whirls around and locks eyes with him. The expression on his face turns a little devious and _did he_ , did he just wink at Rin? He loops his arm with Sousuke’s own and Rin’s own expression must have given something away, because he grins and uses the momentum to turn Sousuke around. He whispers something to him, face _much_ too close to Sousuke’s own, and then Sousuke’s gaze drifts to Rin’s.

Rin watches as his eyes turn excited and the slightest bit nervous, and realizes that he’s got nothing to worry about. Sure, he’d looked comfortable around the pretty kid, but the way his eyes have creased into happy little lines now? That’s all for Rin. He smiles and waves at him, trying to look casual, trying not to give away the anticipation that’s building in his chest.

Gou grips the sleeve of his jacket and tugs. When Rin turns to her distractedly, gaze still holding Sousuke’s own, she pulls him closer.

“Onii-chan!” She hisses. “ _That’s_ him? He’s a swimmer, a genius _and_ a model? What else haven’t you told me?”

“He’s not a model, Gou-san! And I don’t think he’s a genius ei-” Momotaoru starts, and Gou and Rin turn to him at the same time.

“Shut up!” He shrinks back.

When Sousuke comes up to them, the pretty kid still hanging onto his arm, Rin’s own arms lift in an awkward little movement. He’s not sure what to do now. Going in for a hug would be too intimate, shaking his hand would be plain ridiculous.

Sousuke solves his dilemma though, because he doesn’t even hesitate before leaning in and pressing his lips to Rin’s hair in a casual, quick movement. Rin gapes at him, because _wow_ , he had not expected that at all. Sousuke doesn’t seem to have found what he’d done even a little out of the ordinary though, and he just stands there, looking at Rin with those beautiful blue eyes.

Gou’s grip has tightened on his sleeve and when he checks on her, she’s gaping just like him.

“You must be the little sister.” Sousuke disentangles himself from the pretty boy’s grip, pulls Rin closer by the arm and then holds out his other hand for Gou to shake. “Nice to meet you, Gou-san.”

Gou blinks at him, her eyes skating over his shoulders and then the hints of definition of his chest through the blazer distractedly.

“Yes, uh, very nice to meet you.” Her eyes are fixed in the vicinity of Sousuke’s chest as she utters the words, and she sounds very sincere indeed. Too sincere. Rin doesn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

Sousuke hardly looks put off by her shameless ogling, but Rin pinches her side anyway, and she yelps in pain and rips her gaze away.

“I mean, yes, Rin’s been telling me about you, Sousuke-kun. You really must be something, for my brother to go all moon-eyed over you.” She adds in a softer, almost hypnotized voice. “I can certainly see why.”

“Gou!” Rin yelps indignantly, but Sousuke’s eyes widen and then his eyes go teasing and warm.

“Moon-eyed, huh? I didn’t know that.”

“Shut up!” Rin growls, and he doesn’t know which one of them he’s talking to.

“Yamazaki-senpai! Kisumi-senpai!” Momotarou draws their attention to him.

So that’s the pretty kid’s name. Kisumi hasn’t taken his eyes off Rin for a single second, and as Sousuke turns to make casual conversation with Momotarou, he steps just a little closer to Rin.

“Matsuoka Rin-san. I’ve heard so much about you from this guy. Almost feels like I know you myself.” His voice is smooth and his oddly-coloured eyes sparkle as he looks at Rin intently. Rin thinks that he must have girls going crazy for him everywhere he goes. He's nowhere near charmed, though, for some reason.

“Uh.” Rin says, because he’s a little uncomfortable around him and he doesn’t know why himself. Maybe it’s the perpetually sly look in his eyes or the way his hands seem to be constantly touching some part of Sousuke. “Yeah, and you are?”

“Shigino Kisumi. Pleasure.” He doesn’t hold out his hand, just claps Rin on the shoulder.

“So you guys are classmates?” Rin doesn’t want to come off as overtly curious, so he adopts an off-handed tone. Kisumi doesn’t seem to be fooled though and he just smiles at Rin.

“More than just classmates. We’ve known each other almost all our lives. Haven’t we, Sousuke?” He grabs at Sousuke’s free hand to get his attention and Sousuke turns back from Momotarou and grins back at him.

“Yeah, yeah we have. I see Kisumi’s introduced himself. He’s really good at that. Hogging all the attention, that is.” He sounds teasing, and Kisumi pouts and shoves at him, but Sousuke just bats his hand away and nudges his shoulder gently with a fist.

“Don’t be fooled by that face. I honestly can’t remember how many hearts he’s broken. This one’s a demon in disguise.” He laughs a little when Kisumi’s eyebrows dip in affected hurt.

“But _Sousuke-kun_ , you’re the only one for me.” His sotto voice seems to amuse Sousuke, Gou and Momotarou but Rin just smiles, unsettled, because there’s just something about the guy that doesn’t bode well with him.

“How’s your shoulder now? Can you carry your bag?”

Kisumi shrugs and slips off one of the messenger bags from Sousuke’s shoulder, tugging the straps over his own left one. Rin watches the concern play on Sousuke’s face.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Mom’s picking me up today anyway." He smiles at Sousuke and this time, it's a real smile, Rin can tell, because his eyes go warm and soft. "I’ll catch you at school tomorrow, Sousuke.”

Sousuke goes to clap him on the shoulder, but Kisumi turns to Rin, holds his gaze deliberately and pulls Sousuke in for a full-body hug instead. Sousuke just lets out an ‘umph’ of surprise and laughs, before winding an arm around Kisumi's waist and indulging him.

“What’s with you today, Kisumi?” Kisumi just nuzzles his head into his shoulder and shrugs easily before moving away and throwing one last wave at them. A stream of girls (with varying uniforms at that) are hot on his trail as he heads off to what is probably the designated waiting area for cars, and Rin watches him go a little contemplatively. He doesn’t know what the guy’s deal is, but he sure as hell knows that he doesn’t want to be entangled in a high school parody of a soap opera, so he lets it go.

Rin is the one who moves closer to Sousuke and loops an arm around his middle this time, and if Sousuke is surprised, he doesn’t show it. Gou and Momotarou look at each other and share a smile.

“What?” Rin snaps, still a little on edge from the encounter with Kisumi.

“Nothing, nothing.” Gou’s eyes follow Sousuke’s arm as it winds itself around his shoulder and pulls him even closer. “Just. You two look really cute together.”

Momotarou nods in agreement.

“Never thought Yamazaki-senpai swung that way, but you guys really do look good.”

Sousuke smiles and Rin looks to the side and up to meet his eyes. The contact catches and drags for a few seconds and only Gou’s insistent coughing breaks them out of it.

“Ah. Uh, right.” Rin stutters, a little flustered. “Okay, then. Let’s start walking.”

He disentangles himself from Sousuke, because walking like that would be a pain and more importantly, because he’s never been the sort for overtly public displays of affection. He’s always found it obnoxious when couples do that on trains and shopping malls and he sure as hell doesn’t want to be sorted into that category.

Plus, Sousuke’s arm brushes up against his own as they start, and that’s more than enough for Rin. Gou presses up close against his other side.

“Ah, Gou-san, Rin-san, Yamazaki-senpai! I’m going the other way.”

Momotarou tries to hold Gou’s gaze, but Gou’s clearly distracted by Sousuke and it’s a little sad to watch, but mostly hilarious. The kid tries his best, but then just sighs a little resignedly.

“Okay, then, I’ll see you guys!”

The three of them chime in with a farewell and then start walking in the direction of Makoto and Haru’s apartment. The swimming complex is just two minutes away from there, he knows for sure, because that’d been the reason Haru had been so insistent on renting that apartment, despite it being quite a bit pricier than Rin and Rei’s own. As if having the ocean fifteen minutes away wasn’t enough.

Gou strikes up a conversation with Sousuke as they stroll along, and Rin is content to listen to them talk and occasionally nod along. When he gets a little tired of having to lean back so that Gou can look at Sousuke and speak, he steps back and nudges him over to walk beside Gou. He steps over to Sousuke’s other side and presses in close again.

They talk about anything and everything and Rin learns more about Sousuke’s parents and brother as he fields Gou’s questions. They go into the technicalities of swimming and training regimens and Sousuke explains to Gou about the menu that his school team uses. Gou nods and tells him in return, about the swim club she’s managing now and then enquires about the universities that’ve scouted him thus far.

Rin notices that they attract their fair share of lingering looks as they walk along the pavement, but he’s not sure if it’s Sousuke’s height and looks that are eliciting them or if it’s more the fact that the guy is flanked by two people with matching, bright magenta hair. Probably a bit of both both, he thinks.

Before long, they’re outside the gated complex of Haru and Makoto’s apartment, and Rin leans in to pull Gou in for a loose hug. He fixes the twisted collar of her parka and pats her on the shoulder.

“Call me when you’re going to be done, alright? Makoto and Haru will probably drop you back at my place, but I’ll keep my phone close just in case something comes up.”

Gou nods happily at him, and then her expression turns a little shy as she turns to Sousuke.

“You’re a good guy, Sousuke-kun. I’m glad my brother found you, I really am.”

Sousuke looks taken aback for a second or two, and then he regains his composure and pats Gou on the shoulder.

“Thanks, Gou-san. That means a lot coming from you. I’ll be sure to take care of him.”

“Oi!” Rin jumps in, because they’re talking about him as if he isn’t standing right there. “Who’s taking care of who?”

But Sousuke and Gou both just grin at each other conspiratorially. He huffs but doesn’t say anything more, because he’s honestly delighted to see two people who are important to him in their own ways getting along well.

He watches as Gou fishes out her phone to call Makoto and Haru and then swings the gate open and steps inside. She gives them one last cheery wave, and then she’s disappearing into the stairwells.

Sousuke turns to Rin once she’s gone and just _looks_ at him. Rin scuffs the toe of his sneakers onto the asphalt in renewed anticipation. They’re alone. The street is empty around them and the guard who’s usually on duty oustside the apartment complex is clearly slacking off elsewhere.

When Sousuke hesitates and then lifts a hand up to brush against Rin’s fringe, Rin just lifts onto his tip-toes and presses his mouth to Sousuke’s own. The kiss is warm and dry and Rin sighs into it when Sousuke slides an arm around his waist and then brings his other hand up to cup the back of his head.

He loves the way Sousuke kisses with a thrilling sort of intensity, and he especially loves how he wraps Rin up in his limbs and body and makes him feel safe and protected. He wonders idly if he’s the first one to have had a taste of him, and then brushes the thought away when his mind, oddly enough, procures the image of pink hair and devious eyes in response.

When Sousuke leaves a series of kitten licks on his lower lip, he obliges and lets his tongue slip in. His hand maps over the curves of Sousuke’s muscled shoulders and then slides into impossibly soft black hair. When his toes start smarting from the strain, he drops back down and licks at his lips to swipe at the string of saliva that’s connecting his mouth to Sousuke’s.

Sousuke leans down and follows his mouth, licking at the corner of his lips first and then fitting his mouth over Rin’s own. Rin makes a little noise of surprise when he tilts his head and just goes to town. His tongue is hot and wet and everywhere all at once: swiping at his molars first, then his sharp incisors and then the roof of his mouth.

Rin turns his head to the side to separate their lips because they were still in a public area and anyone could step out and catch them playing tonsil hockey. That wouldn’t end well for either of them.

He leans up to leave tiny, apologetic kisses on the line of Sousuke’s jaw though, when blue eyes bore imploringly into his own. And then smirks to himself a little and kisses down to the smooth, tanned column of neck before suckling at a particularly enticing patch of skin and scraping his teeth over it for good measure. Sousuke’s skin is warm and salty and saliva pools in his mouth

Sousuke whimpers, and his hands clench into the material of Rin’s parka. Rin rips his mouth away from his skin upon hearing the adorable little sound, and looks up just in time to catch the dazed look in bright eyes and the slack, trembling mouth. Rin stores the enticing image away in his head and tries to keep his composure, because this side of Sousuke is getting him worked up at the speed of light and they _really_ have to stop.

He pulls away from Sousuke and grabs his forearm to steer him in the direction of the swimming complex. Sousuke complies easily; his eyes are still a little wide and he lifts a hand to the reddened spot on his neck, letting himself be tugged along.

“You’re unfair.” He murmurs, slanting a look heavy with promise at Rin, and Rin tries not to shiver. Drudges up a smirk instead.

“Never said I wasn’t.” Is all he says. There’s silence the rest of the way, and when their fingers brush one too many times for it to be coincidental, Rin just reaches over and hooks his pinky with Sousuke’s own. He feels a little juvenile, but mostly content, especially when Sousuke drags his fingers over the back of Rin’s hand gently in response.

When they reach the modest swimming complex, Rin slips a couple of coins over at the security counter to cover their entrance fee and then takes his place by Sousuke’s side again. The air is heavy with the smell of chlorine and shampoo and when he pats the side of his bag, he can feel the spandex of his leg skins through the material. He already feels at home.

When he turns to look at Sousuke though, he’s taken aback at the conflict playing on his face.  He too, seems all-too familiar with the place, but while Rin can spot the eagerness to swim again, it’s largely overcome by an odd sort of reluctance and dread. He wonders how the past couple of years must have been for him, to put that sort of look on his beautiful face.

Rin doesn’t like it when he goes silent and morose, so he waits until they’re turning the corner to the changing rooms and then checks to see that they’re alone before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. It seems to work, because Sousuke flinches in surprise at first, and then quirks a fond little smile at him, his expression clearing up a little.

“You look like we’re about to go to war or something. Don’t worry, we’re just gonna get in the water and splash around a little.” He reassures him. “You don’t have to swim seriously if you don’t want to.”

Sousuke shakes his head.

“No, no. I want to swim with you.” He huffs a trouble breath. “Just. I’ve been skipping training a lot lately, so this is the first I’ve been to the pool in a long time.”

Rin can tell that he’s been putting it off. He wonders a little worriedly if he’d felt pressured by Rin into coming here. Sousuke must have sensed his train of thought though, because he hastens to correct him.

“I wanted to come though. I can’t put this off forever. And if I have to swim again, I want to do it with you.”

He says it very casually, but to Rin, it sounds like a veritable confession of love for some reason. Maybe it’s because swimming is so important to him. His cheeks flush a little and he turns away.

“Alright, then. Let’s swim.” He pulls out his leg skins from his bag and nudges Sousuke into one of the changing rooms, before ducking into the one beside it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY, I lied, this isn't the entire chapter. I cut it off towards the end because it was getting too long, and I just didn't have time to delve into the swimming. So this is just part of chapter 7. Technicalities D: Next chap will cover the swimming, more half-naked boys, Sousuke-issues, changing room shenanigans after (;D) etc etc.
> 
> I'll try to update more frequently from now on (i hope :c), but Coetzee and Thoreau are keeping me busy and away from all the gay porn fic, which is honestly what I want to be writing all the time.


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